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chocolate_86

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Everything posted by chocolate_86

  1. Ok, My coworker. He is much older. I've worked with him for 5 years. From day one I helped him, because he was new. In this time he has helped me get promoted, he was very touch feely but when I said something he stopped. He told me all about his life, he has vented to me and me to him, but his are sometimes personal issues that he vents to Me about, about his family. He would always call me on my days off to ask about work stuff. One time he called me out of the blue and he was crying because he couldn't work. Told me him and his wife are thinking of separating. He is keen to meet my partner. Like he will say he wants to meet my partner all the time. I've met his and he acted different, alot more quiet in general. He wants us to do things together as couples. I'm dumbfounded. All of the sudden I see maybe he wasn't just being friendly. His wife is very close to me too, overly friendly. My feelings are confused. I don't know what the hell is going on. Help.
  2. You are normal. I feel really sad for you as someone close to me is going through just about the exact same thing. You will get through this. You will be ok eventually. You are a special person and if she can't see that then that's her loss. Odds are she'll continue on trying to "find herself" for her whole life and you'll end up happily married with kids and won't give her another thought. Just friendly say I can't be your friend but I wish u nothing but happiness. You want good karma after all. All the best. And take comfort in the fact there are others at this moment in time going through very similar things. You aren't alone that's for sure.
  3. Thanks guys, I am much better now, at the time I posted this I was very upset. I'm still upset but can see the blessing in disguise. It seems that she did the right thing she didn't love him anymore and he's not the first person to have experienced this. Millions of people go through this everyday. Doesn't change that I know how happy he was and is devastated. That hurts the family but we will help him, it'll all be ok eventually. When one of us hurts we all hurt and it sucks but it's a part of life.
  4. Update guys, god how I laugh at this 10 years later nearly to the day. That guy was a loser. I really liked him too. What was I thinking??!!haven't seen him for about 10 years and don't wish to either. I'm currently engaged to the best person in the world. Got totally different friends too. It's funny how what's most important changes. My priorities are totally different. Family is a major one for me. All I care about is our families and their happiness, and us aswell of course.
  5. Exactly what someone who I know said when this happened to him. He said he's glad he found out before getting married as much as he's hurting, it would be worse if they had have married.
  6. This 100% hit the nail on the head I actually used to get scared that I had crushes on people other than my man, I used to think maybe this means I don't love him etc. But then I realized that love is not so much a feeling as it is a choice. I choose to marry him, I choose to committ to him every day. In all good times and yes bad aswell as there will be bad times. Cheating on someone you chose to love is a cowards way out. Instead of cheating just say you aren't happy. And no I dont mean after you've already cheated. It's ok to be unhappy with someone but don't look to someone else to work out why you're unhappy and for a way out but look within yourself instead.
  7. Do me a favour and think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If your fiance came and said to you "I'm wondering if I'll be happy with this other woman so I'm going to explore it. Sorry but I can't help how I feel". How do you think you'd feel?
  8. People like you will never be happy. You just want to blindside him and he deserves better. You won't ever have those fuzzy feelings for ever with whoever you're with because it's not real life. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. I don't have any fuzzy feelings, they were replaced by genuine love and happiness when things got boring and monotonous when we moved in together. We even fight out of frustration occasionally. I love how we can just sit around for hours and do nothing together. I love how when I'm upset he is so full of genuine care for me. And my family too. I have had crushes while we've been together. But I would never cheat on him. If I'm looking another its because its human nature and that's that. I'm not acting on it when I have him waiting for me at home because I don't want to. It amazes me how many jump from one to another and never realize that they are the problem with what their ideal is and how unrealistic it is. Movies aren't real life. There is no happily ever after it's 100% commitment and hard work every day.
  9. Well someone close to me is going through the same thing, it's been 2 weeks and all i do is worry about him. His ex fiance ended it abruptly and without warning and I feel like that's so selfish. How can someone be in a relationship, be unhappy and not say anything or even try fix it. I tell you how they are just plain selfish and I hope karma catches up with them. I'm in a relationship and I couldn't imagine not trying. I just don't get it and feel like it's the cowards way. Not just selfish but immature,and the worst part is he can have anyone he wants but he is in love with that idiot. Sorry I'm really sad and mad. I won't bad mouth her to him though coz I don't want to push him away and want him to feel like he can talk to me about it anytime. I can't stand her and I loved her too. It really hurts me so I can't begin to imagine what he feels like.
  10. Thanks for posting this, I have someone very close to me that this just happened to and we are all devastated for him. I just worry about him constantly since i found out, I worry about his mental health, my brother my best friend from day 1. He doesn't show his sadness , he isn't a blubbering mess but I constantly worry about how he's coping. He is the most kind hearted, beautiful person and definitely doesn't deserve this but who does. I don't want to force him to talk about it but I want him to know that he can talk about it whenever he wants and he can even come stay with me anytime. If he brings it up I'll listen. What else can I do?
  11. Feel guilty for me being happy and him not being happy. Feel sad for my parents going through this with him. Feel guilty for having my engagement party coming up and expecting everyone to be happy. More than anything just guilt. It's not about anything except that, as I am happy with my fiancee who is very supportive of my family and i.
  12. I have been thinking about it and I don't hate her I'm just dissapointed because I know how much my brother loves her, she was already part of the family a long time ago. I wouldn't speak badly of her as my brother doesn't want that and it's not helpful to him or anyone. It might be weird for some people but my family isn't very big so when something like this happens it really hurts as we are all very close.
  13. The only thing I think is I am deadly scared to lose anyone who means so much to me and my brother is in that category where I feel like I worry about his mental health as we suffer anxiety in our family.
  14. My brother was with this girl for nearly 6 years and she was like a part of the family. They had a house together and were engaged until she decided she isn't in love with him anymore and out of nowhere told him it's over. Now I know no ones perfect but my brother treated her so well, he paid for lots of things and was always picking her up from somewhere or doing things for her and she says he has been taking her for granted where I see it as she has taken him for granted and I'm so mad at her it's safe to say I hate her. I've been so depressed over this I hate that she has hurt him like this,he doesn't deserve to be hurt at all as he is a wonderful person. I've been crying on and off and just miserable. I am engaged and i can't imagine what he's going through, I feel sick. He said He wants to stay friends with her but I really dont want him to. He deserves better. Is it normal for me to be affected so much? I know our parents are very upset too and told him theres no forgiving her. I feel the same.
  15. So here's the story. My parents decided to move out to the country while i was living at home. I went with them for a little bit and then moved out due to getting into a relationship and i wanted to be closer to work. My parents hate that i am renting. They don't help with rent, i am an adult and pay for everything myself as i should . My mother is retired. Dad is the one who works. She doesn't really like to leave home. And i think they expected that i would come and visit them every week or month. They say they will come and visit but they often end up cancelling, my brother who has his house , they visit him every week. My dad told me a while ago i should move out of my apartment as its a dump. So it annoys me that they think i have all the time in the world to drop everything for them. I am working full time and dont live as close to them as my brother does. I had an argument with my dad and told him its ok we just won't visit eachother at all and i didnt realize that we were keeping score with the visits. My dad works 5 mins drive from me. I'm annoyed. Am i overreacting?
  16. We have been together for 4 years. I did overreact as i was angry. He is the best boyfriend. We discussed it and agreed that i overreacted and also discussed how i should communicate to him what im feeling and thinking better. We live together too. Have for 3 years. We do both have our alone time with friends. I was just being a sook Thanks for the replies Greatly appreciated
  17. My boyfriend and i have a great relationship. There's just a thing that bugs me. Last weekend, he went on a trip interstate which he does every year. No problem, i had a great time in my own company. Now he came home and this weekend after being apart for 4 nights last week, he has gone to his friends 40th birthday. He left at noon, and its now 10:30 pm. He called to check in with me and i told him i was annoyed but i can't tell him what to do. He told me he'd only be out for a little bit longer at 6. I am furious. I feel so disrespected. It makes me so angry. Am i overreacting? Or am i right to be annoyed?
  18. My boss asked me about something someone accused me of. He said i was accused of singling them out. He heard my side and was happy with what i said. We had a meeting and he said that my reaction is exactly what he wanted to see and hear and he believes me. And he topped that off by saying i am doing a really good job and to keep doing what I'm doing. I just get frustrated. Thanks for your advice catfeeder you speak a lot of sense.
  19. Just need some advice,rather than starting a new thread. I have found out a couple of workers are questioning what i am doing..me, their boss. Saying i do nothing all day to other management. If i say something or have to have a quick chat with someone about something, they question why i am talking to workers . Management are wrapped with how well i am doing the job and have all told me. The thing is that the people complaining, had been asked before me if they wanted the job and said no, now that I've accepted it, they all of the sudden want it. They are much older with more experience but i put my hand up for the job that they didn't want, and now they hate me for it. The most frustrating thing is they will go to my management team around me and accuse me of things that aren't true. Just wondering what i should do, to make them understand that them trying to undermine me or anyone else,will not be tolerated?
  20. Im dealing with a worker like this at the moment..she is bossy, lazy, a suck to the bosses, a backstabber, bitter, sarcastic and just a nasty piece of work. BUT i do know she isn't happy in her personal life and hasn't been for a long time..how do i know?? She has told me. I have understanding and compassion for others..she was even a good friend who unfortunately turned against me as soon as i didn't do what she wanted. She even went as far as to complain to bosses about me not doing much overtime and wanting them to speak to me about it. She even went as far as saying i have a bad work ethic..this woman was just a coworker.Nothing more. Well guess who got promoted? Yes thats right im now her boss, and she hates it and avoids me. She is undermining me by getting workers on side and saying how she would do things differently if she were manager. She is even meaner than before. I am fair with all employees, because regardless of what happened between us i like to remain professional. That's what I'm paid to do. I don't engage in gossip. I'm too busy working. I also don't play favourites. Everyone on the team gets rotated around much to some of their disgust. Im not perfect. I can be abrupt. And i can be moody. But i try my hardest to change for the better without compromising my position. You should try the same. I know how hard it is believe me. We are in control and they are not. Just remember that.
  21. Some of my older coworkers aren't happy about my promotion and talk behind my back about how they would do certain things differently. Ever since i have been promoted to managment i have had nothing but positive feedback from higher management. We are cutting costs, there's very little overtime, and I'm trying to change things as i feel most people have gotten too comfortable (talk more than they work, gossip too much, leave tasks to everyone else constantly)and think they run the show. Some workers constantly tell others what to do, and avoid as much work as they can. Im working on making them all do more because before they were doing no where near enough and they don't like being asked to do things by someone 20 years younger than them even though they were asked if they wanted the job before me and they turned it down. I'm feeling a bit undermined at times..a few older women just don't like that im in charge..what should i do?
  22. This. So much this. He always waits until home time to do things and it drives me crazy. I understand if its busy but even when its not he does everything to drag it out and then if i want to go home he gets mad.
  23. I've been in my job for 13 years. My boss has been my boss for about 9 of those years. Recently we had a major change and the management above him changed. They saw how hard i work, there was a position up for grabs and they offered it to me against my bosses wishes. His reason for not wanting me in the management was that i always want to go home on time. He fought against it and they told him bad luck. I am more than happy to stay back often but occasionally i would like to go home on time. My boss never wants to go home and then sooks because everyone else does . On a couple of occasions he has lashed out at me, thinking i stuffed things up when i have done as he told me to do and he realizes i have done nothing wrong. I should mention he is sexist. He thinks there are jobs for men and then there are jobs for women. I don't want his job i want my job and i want to learn more about my role. How can i make him feel less threatened? He usually comes in late and now hes coming in early. He is salary too. Im not.
  24. He has said he wants to marry me. And talks about proposing quite often and how if i propose he will be offended because he really wants to propose to me.
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