ay0_x

I've been thinking of giving you your stuff back. Putting it all in a big bag, doing the whole crappy one hour commute to your place, and dumping it on your doorstep. Maybe I'll ring the bell, maybe not. But i dont know if I want to waste my time doing that. It doesn't affect me like it should.

It doesn't make me cry or anything. It doesn't even remind me of you. And I'm keeping the stuffed animals- just because I like them. Does that mean I'm over you and it's only because of loneliness and boredom and habit that you enter my thoughts? Who knows.

Thank you for getting me into lifting weights, though. And taking me out of my stupid habits. I'd never have looked this good without it. Sometimes I wonder what your reaction would be if you saw me with another man. Would your cockiness kick in, I wonder? I built your ego so bad that I know you now think you're the hottest thing alive. Especially with all the clothes I picked out for you. You'd probably laugh. You'd probably say something stupid like "Oh I bet hes rich".

A 17 year old? REALLY? Are you freaking serious? She's still in high school. ARE YOU NORMAL? YOU ARE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF STUDYING TO BE A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER!!!

You scumbag.. Why would you even tell me that.. "thanks for being a great stepping stone".. IDIOT YOU DO NOT SAY THIS TO ME A MONTH AFTER WE BROKE UP AND A DAY AFTER WE START NC.. I DO NOT WANT TO BE TOLD I WAS A STEPPING STONE. I do not want to hear about your date and how she loved you and said I'd changed you for the better. I hate you so much right now.

I dreamt of you last night. Your sister called me. Yes, your sister... queen evil herself. She was asking me why we broke up. She told me you had a new girl. She asked me to look her up on facebook just so I could see what she meant. Trash. Gutter trash. The exact type of trash you always wished I was- with tattoos and long teased hair and sexy clothing and a tiny petite little body that I could never give you. Your sister was scared of what your parents would think once you brought her home. Ha. I woke up happy.

I can't stop thinking about you. Your face, your lips. I can't help but compare everyone to you. You were my fantasy and you disappointed me so badly. I hate seeing you sign on msn. I know i should never speak to you again. I can't get rid of your stuff. I never will.

I wrote this tonight.

He broke into her life again

He told her that he'd changed.

He swore that this time around

He wouldn't cause such pain.

He said he wasn't angry

He cried that he was sorry

He begged for one more chance to write

The ending of their story.

Enamoured by his looks, she fell for his charm.

She'd missed the way she felt when she was laying in his arms.

But pretty faces always make

They make the best of masks.

And sweet nothing's are easily faked

So she vowed to shield her heart.

This girl was full of patience

He gave excuses, she gave chances

She'd fought for everything she had

So she'd die for what she wanted.

It was getting hard to tell

Who meant ill from who wished well

But guarded in her wounded heart

She set herself to fail.

He said he couldn't take it

Her distance was too blatant

He was really hurting

His will quickly fading

A pair of would -be lovers

That could never trust another

His insecurity caused by

An unknown, absent father.

A pair of would -be lovers

That could never trust another

Her shrewdness brought by

A weak and smothering mother

A pair of could -be lovers

Really perfect for each other.

Too bad they never learnt to trust.

It would have been much better.

It could have been forever...