brian123

Day 2: Beginning to think maybe NC is not the way to go for me. I get ancy/excited. Think maybe I should let her know how I feel. I need to take a step back, calm down and re-evaluate things though.

I need to keep focusing on myself and my happiness.

Well there is this girl that I really like, idk what was going on (see other threads) but I think I am going to go NC for 10 days to give her space. I am going to start my own 10 day NC challenge.

After these 10 days, I think I will call her and let her know exactly how I feel and ask her out on a real date, making it short, and to the point. If she accepts, then great. If not, atleast I tried then I guess.

Day 1: IDK about her feelings for me. Alot of me is eaten up because I think I made foolish decisions/didn't communicate well enough with her. Maybe this is a sign we wouldn't have worked out anyways?

For some reason, I cannot get her off my mind, and it can't be healthy. We never even kissed, so why am I so attached? I've contacted her the last 3 days. I need to lay off and not come off as needy. I also need to figure out if I liked her, or liked the idea of having someone like her. We only hung out 4 times over 4 weeks, so why did I get so attached so quickly? For the last 10-14 days I've thought of little else but her really and biding my time until I could see about us getting together.

Today I am going to go to the gym after work, and then hopefully meet some friends out tonight. Tomorrow night my friend's band is playing so that should be fun.

good post. Just again goes to show that most reconcilations do not work

Brian,

 

How long has it been since the BU? It's about 4 months for me, sucks still.

 

Happy Belated Birthday.

 

cr44hill

We BU 2.5 months ago, and have been NC for the last 1.5.

I've started to date again, but no girls really have the "spark" that my ex gave. I think a big hunk of me is scared to let go of her and the memories we had.

Everytime I see her car outside her work place (I drive by there everyday on the way to work), it bothers me. And I know that when/if I ever run into her again, it will be very hard.

Been a LONG time now since we BU. Much of it all still hurts. It comes in waves. She didnt contact me for my birthday. That is the final sign I should give up all hope and move on.

Kayla> So sorry to hear that story of yours. Any death is terrible

Lilly> The guy is an alcoholic. It runs in his family. Shouldn't that be enough to make people stop wanting to drink? He sounds pretty irresponsible to me. Thank yourself that you only wasted 2 months with this guy and move on. Keep up the NC and the good work.

I've learned the hard way, you can't help people who don't want to help themselves.

Way past 30 days, but I still need to vent from time to time. I still have times where I wonder what is going to happen. Deep down, I don't believe we will ever get together again, and it is MUCH easier to assume that we will not. However, many parts of me keep rethinking how we broke up and what will happen to us in the future.

DAY 4 of NC

 

Still dreaming about her

Dreamt we met up, started talking and we kissed - god it was so good!

 

I feel so down it's un-true. I still can't help thinking why we couldn't of just worked through the problem she was having. (depression)

 

I guess if there is a certain type of breakup that leads to reconcillation, then this could be it.

UK....seems like you and I had a similar BU. It was ~2 months ago for me. I still dream/think of her from time to time.

Day ??? Getting better. Still wondering if she will ever call me again. I'm trying to assume never.

My ex blocked me on MSN and won't answer calls or texts anymore...even though last time we spoke before a few days of NC it had been a good convo...go figure

 

He clearly hates me.

 

So, I'm on my third day (pretty much enforced) NC.

IDK if he hates you. But he just wants some distance apparently. After BU, I've blocked girls that I've loved dearly, but just needed distance.

30 days of NC for me as well. Everyday I think about her less and less. In many ways, I like the idea of freedom. I've been talking with alot of people, and I feel like I FINALLY got to the bottom of everything and why we BU. Everyday still has its difficulties, but I will get by ok.

Like Mustang, I wonder if she is thinking of me at all, and wonder if she is with someone else yet (based on past experiences, she probably is).

If we don't ever get together again, i'd rather never see her/speak with her again. It would just be easier that way.

Day 29. Still hurt. Still wondering what the heck happened/what to expect. Getting a bit easier everyday.

Yea, I think I will wait until after my bday in a few weeks (see if she initiates contact 1st)

If she doesn't, Ill send her the quick note about her stuff (None of it is really that important, random clothes, vitamins, extra set of car keys etc.....)

I could text her, but I feel like I am doing this mostly as a reason to initiate contact. IDK what I should do

Day 28 of NC. I have a bunch of minor things of hers that I have found in my house since she moved her stuff out.

Should I just give the bag to one of our mutual friends and tell him to tell her he has her stuff, or would it be wrong if I just sent her an email saying "our friend xxx has your stuff. Hope all is well and take care."

See for our reasons for BU

Day 27 of NC...

Everyday is still getting a bit easier. Still miss her. Still VERY confused. In all seriousness, if anyone can top my breakup for weirdness level, I will buy them a cake.

Been about a month since I last communicated with the ex. I think it is taking much longer to get over because of all the confusion involved. I am beginning to accept it, but I don't like the idea of hope that we will get back together (how she left it, IDK about the signs since we broke it off). All just so confusing to me.

I saw her at the supermarket today (she didn't see me) It rekindled alot of feelings I had for her (I still think she looks really good)

Still in total confusion

I'm not sure there is such a thing as too much time. Time heals all, that's what they say isn't it. I think that if its meant to be it will be, you're probably sick of reading this statement, I know I was but I really think it is true and whatever way it goes you will be fine. In time, you will stop worrying so much, I know I have. I think we get to the point eventually when we get fed up of feeling like we do and then the healing really begins then

I agree. It is getting easier because I am beginning to forget her. Part of me doesn't want to let go because I think we were good together, and all the total confusion over the breakup/what would happen in the future.

I dont think you can or should put a time limit on it. If and when you decide to contact her then you will feel ok about it and know when you are ready. A month really isn't very long. You could wait to see if she contacts you on your birthday, maybe you will feel ready, and you will already have contacted her by then and maybe you wont. Just give it time. I know it's hard but time really does help.

I called her last week. Didn't leave a voicemail. She didn't respond back. My bday will be a bit over 2 months since our BU. I just hope I didn't let too much time pass by, by then I get so many mixed opinons. Many people say I should contact her, let her know I care (esp with all she is going through) On the other hand, I feel like I will push her away if I contact her again (it seems like it should be up to her to initiate based on the circumstances)

How long should I keep up NC for? It has been 24 days of NC for me. (She initiated the breakup) My birthday is coming up in 3 weeks. Should I wait until after my bday to see if she initiates contact at all?

What is the right number of days to feel down? Its been about 50 days since BU for me, and I am def getting better each day (3 steps forward 2 steps back) but it has still zapped a hunk of my energy. Is this all pretty normal?

Mustang -> I am in the same boat as you, so I know what I am saying is hard to believe. Let her think you believe what she told you. Unless you ate her newborn baby for breakfast, eventually, she will feel guilty about lying to you.

Is it considered a loss of NC if you call the person and they do not answer?

If yes (Day 4), if no day 22.

I get urges throughout the day to call her. I get scared alot of the time over what I missed/am missing. I think of all the fun times we had together, all we shared, how she made me feel, and all we could have shared. I am still totally confused over why we broke up, but am beginning to see how things were for the best. It was unhealthy the way we were going, and she had other issues to work out. It does not help me missing her though. It does not alleviate the fear I have of loosing her forever.