ATLstudent

Back and fourth.

I go back and fourth in my thoughts and feelings.

I feel the crisis of choosing one path or the other. When this side is tough and nasty I try and look over to the other. Sometimes I'm convinced I should turn around and go back around. Maybe this is the farthest I've made it, but I still think about going back toward the other. Friends and enemies they seem the same sometimes. One minute to the next what I thought I believed suddenly feels delusional, and I remember the peace I felt before. I guess this is the way it's supposed to happen, easily translated into metaphor and archetypes . Classic story.

I don't think I'll turn around anymore, but I'm sure I will definitely think about it.

Lyrics by Maynard James Keenan

the song is by A Perfect Circle

It really describes the last month of my life and indefinitely the future,

Lost again

Broken and weary

Unable to find my way

Tail in hand

Dizzy and clearly unable to

Just let this go

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun

I choose to live

I fell again

Like a baby unable to stand on my own

Tail in hand

Dizzy and clearly unable to just let this go

High and surrendering to gravity and the unknown

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun

I choose to live, I choose to live, I choose to live

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun

Help me survive the bottom

Calm these hands before they

Snare another pill and

Drive another nail down another

Needy hole please release me

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun

I choose to live, I choose to live

Thanks, i like the quote

So i am talented, but do have some qualities that hinder my abilities at times. Sometimes, i just dont want to work at a painting, or just not in that mode, to really pay attention, get the details and work some long hours. SO i need some help.

Just that short attention span, its like, just looking at my painting and trying to figure out how to do these little details or whatever, gets me stressed or is just to overwhelming, and i quit, or i just go through it really quick just to get it done

Its like i cant work on something, for very long.

I need help in this area, to become more deligent.

Some lyrics i find inspiring and helpful, I love you Mom. Artist: Puscifer Lyrics: Maynard James Keenan.........TO hear a beautiful version of this song and have some great context in reading it check this out...

Wake up son o' mine, Momma got somethin' to tell you....

Changes come, life will have its way, with your pride son......

Take it like a man

Suck it up son of mine, storm is on your horizon,

changes come, keep your dignity, take the high road....

take it like a man

Listen up son o' mine, momma got something to tell you, all of our growing pains, Life will pound away where the light dont shine son,

take it like a man

Suck it up son of mine, storm is on your horizon, changes come, keep your dignity , take the road.....

take it like a man

Momma sed like the rain, like a kidney stone, its just a broken heart,

son this pain will pass away,

this too shall pass away,

this hate shall pass away

THe album is Lateralus. The first track is THe Grudge another great one that talks about "lettting GO". Maynards lyrics are really positive on this album

Here are some really inspiring lyrics in my eyes, on the concept of patience....something not often thought about.....and the struggle it can create inside you...so i wanted to share

Band is Tool, song is The Patient, and lyrics are written by Maynard James Keenan..enjoy!

Oh . . .

Oh . . .

Oh . . .

Oh . . .

Oh . . .

Oh . . .

A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful, is this a

Test? It has to be, otherwise I can't go on

Draining patience, drain vitality, this paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little

Old

But I'm still right here, givin' blood, keepin' faith and I'm still right here

But I'm still right here, givin' blood, keepin' faith and I'm still right here

Wait it out

Gonna wait it out

Gonna wait it out (Be patient)

If there were no rewards to reap

No loving embrace to see me through

This tedious path I've chosen here

I certainly would've walked away

By now

Gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal

The damaged and broken met along

This tedious path I've chosen here

I certainly would've walked away

By now

And I still may

And I still may

Be patient

Be patient

Be patient

Must keep reminding myself of this

I must keep reminding myself of this

I must keep reminding myself of this

I must keep reminding myself of this

If there were no rewards to reap (I must keep reminding myself of this)

No loving embrace to see me through (I must keep reminding myself of this)

This tedious path I've chosen here (I must keep reminding myself of this)

I certainly would've walked away (I must keep reminding myself of this)

By now

And I still may

And I still may

And I still may

And I. . . .

Gonna wait it out

Gonna wait it out

Wait it out

Gonna wait it out

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm

This one, this form I hold now.

Embracing you, this reality here,

This one, this form I hold now, so

Wide eyed and hopeful.

Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,

Choosing to be here right now. hold on, stay inside...

This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in

This body makes me feel eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

-Parabol by TOOL

OMG!! I love it...i'm really sorry that your friend Brandon passed away but the fact that I touched in such a way really makes me glad i posted this. I'm happy to hear that you find some beauty in it. Its completely open for interpretation....use it for whatever you need and apply in anyway it helps. Personally it was just a free form page, ITs weird there a really deep hurting sense of sorrow towards my brother that i do feel and have fully felt in the past, but lately i can;t seem to access it, enough to really feel for him, its like my mind is numb to sympathy at the moment.

Brandon

Where are you

I've lost you in the chaos of our 20's

You've gone on and I've turned inside

D i s t a n c e i s i n t e r e s t i n g

M e m o r i e s a r e s t r a n g e

It seems like nothing ever happened

that I was born sitting here with a pen in my hand

I don't really know if I had a life or just a dream

I don't even know if I have a B R O T H E R

We are satellites finding our own paths

Is there anything besides blood that connects us

does it matter

Do you love me

Do you love at all

Deep inside me I have feelings for you

I feel really sorry for you

I want to pick you up and help you to your feet...

but its only a faint feeling...

I can't fully reach it

Access it

There is a deep caring soul that is inside me

but right now I'm numb to e v e r y t h i n g...

except some good ole' fashion depression

and downward spiraling

My life

My mind...

I'm slipping by not holding on to anything

and letting my mind d r i f t away from me...

sleeping in a dark numb place......

"I know where this street goes, I've been down it. I walked down it recently and studied all the details...took my time. I ain't goin' back!"

keep writing