Man, I can totally relate to what you are going through right now
because I went through the same thing very recently and I am still
going through it in some ways but I am doing much better. First
things first, and this may hurt a little, but it is DEFENITELY over.
From the way you have described things, there is no way you are
going to get her back. She left you for someone else! This is not one
of those situations where people split up only because they are having
problems that could possibly be worked out. She has found somebody
new that made her feel excited and good enough to give up what she
had with you. I went through the very same thing. My fiance left me
for someone else and I was absolutely devestated. I kept thinking that
maybe there was a possibility we would get back together because
everything we had shared together was so deep and profound to me
that I couldn't possibly believe it was over. I remained friends with her
and spent time with her just like you do. This went on for about 3 months.
During those 3 months, I was miserable and made absolutely no progress
towards recovery. It took me awhile to realize that she didn't feel even
1% of the loss that I did and that she never did because she had filled
that void with the new guy before she even left me. She only wanted to
remain friends because her parents liked me so much and so that she
didn't have to feel any guilt. My guess is that your ex feels absolutely none
of the pain that you do when you get together. This arrangement is
completely in her favor. You wallow in pain, she still gets to share your
friendship and feel no guilt. Here comes the most important part of my
message. The reason you are feeling that it is impossible to move on is
because you still talk to her and see her all the time. How could you
possibly move on!! Even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done,
you need to disassociate yourself from this girl . It may be
possible for you to be friends with her in the future, but now is defenitely
not the time. You have got to tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be and
that you absolutely, positively need to move on if you are ever going to
feel like a complete person again. I simply told my ex not to call me anymore because I was at my wits end and I knew there was no other way out of the depression unless I did. I finally took this step about 4 months ago. It was the absolute best thing I could have done. By being away from her, I've been able to discard some of the blindness that ussually comes with love and I've learned things about my past relationship that I just couldn't possibly have seen when I was with her. I'm by no means completely over her yet. I still think about her all the time but I know now that it wasn't meant to be and any thoughts to the
contrary are just wasted emotions. She is defenitely not there for you
anymore and the only way you will ever find anyone that will make you
feel the way she does is by forgetting about all your hopes regarding the
relationship and becoming familiar with the reality. I probably haven't
written anything that you want to hear, but I hope you take something
can i get her back?
in Getting Back Together
Posted
Man, I can totally relate to what you are going through right now
because I went through the same thing very recently and I am still
going through it in some ways but I am doing much better. First
things first, and this may hurt a little, but it is DEFENITELY over.
From the way you have described things, there is no way you are
going to get her back. She left you for someone else! This is not one
of those situations where people split up only because they are having
problems that could possibly be worked out. She has found somebody
new that made her feel excited and good enough to give up what she
had with you. I went through the very same thing. My fiance left me
for someone else and I was absolutely devestated. I kept thinking that
maybe there was a possibility we would get back together because
everything we had shared together was so deep and profound to me
that I couldn't possibly believe it was over. I remained friends with her
and spent time with her just like you do. This went on for about 3 months.
During those 3 months, I was miserable and made absolutely no progress
towards recovery. It took me awhile to realize that she didn't feel even
1% of the loss that I did and that she never did because she had filled
that void with the new guy before she even left me. She only wanted to
remain friends because her parents liked me so much and so that she
didn't have to feel any guilt. My guess is that your ex feels absolutely none
of the pain that you do when you get together. This arrangement is
completely in her favor. You wallow in pain, she still gets to share your
friendship and feel no guilt. Here comes the most important part of my
message. The reason you are feeling that it is impossible to move on is
because you still talk to her and see her all the time. How could you
possibly move on!! Even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done,
you need to disassociate yourself from this girl . It may be
possible for you to be friends with her in the future, but now is defenitely
not the time. You have got to tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be and
that you absolutely, positively need to move on if you are ever going to
feel like a complete person again. I simply told my ex not to call me anymore because I was at my wits end and I knew there was no other way out of the depression unless I did. I finally took this step about 4 months ago. It was the absolute best thing I could have done. By being away from her, I've been able to discard some of the blindness that ussually comes with love and I've learned things about my past relationship that I just couldn't possibly have seen when I was with her. I'm by no means completely over her yet. I still think about her all the time but I know now that it wasn't meant to be and any thoughts to the
contrary are just wasted emotions. She is defenitely not there for you
anymore and the only way you will ever find anyone that will make you
feel the way she does is by forgetting about all your hopes regarding the
relationship and becoming familiar with the reality. I probably haven't
written anything that you want to hear, but I hope you take something
from it and feel better SOON!