Begin your new life today, if you are destined to be with your girlfriend it will happen when you least expect it.
(1) how can I build and express to her a basis for commitment in my current state? We have no joint family to which I can commit.
You cannot commit to someone who does not want to commit to you. period.
(2) what about honesty and openness, how can I fulfil or even attempt to express my capacity for being truthful now that we are not together?
You can express your truthfulness all you want, but if the other person is not listening what good is it?
how long will it take for the relationship with the new person to run down it's initial thrill?
I don't know, it sounds like you cheated on your girlfriend after you had been together for 1/2 a year. [Year and a half relationship... cheated on her last year at this time of year]
after breaking up, when is contact good and when was it not good? what kind of contact?
After breaking up, initially no contact is best. How do you expect her to miss you if you are constantly "passing by her apartment"? When you move out and get a new phone number, call her to let her know.
is it good/bad idea to call or mail saying that I still love her, that I need her, that I cannot believe that she doesn't miss me, that she can come back whenever she wants etc.?
BAD IDEA. You sound like a stalker. If I was her and you started doing that to me... 2 words, Restraining Order.
I think if I can get my act together, get a job, an apartment somewhere and... well have my place in the world...
Now you are talking! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out of your parent's house, get a job and throw yourself into it. What have you always wanted to do? Now is your chance to start a career from the ground up, take advantage of it! If you have to start at the lowest position, throw all your energy into it and work your way up the ladder.
If the two of you are destined to be together it will happen when you least expect it! If you sit in the basement staring at the phone it will never ring, so get out there and start your new life!
1 year after I had affair, she left me for her boss. Help!
in Relationship Advice
Posted
Ignacio,
Begin your new life today, if you are destined to be with your girlfriend it will happen when you least expect it.
You cannot commit to someone who does not want to commit to you. period.
You can express your truthfulness all you want, but if the other person is not listening what good is it?
I don't know, it sounds like you cheated on your girlfriend after you had been together for 1/2 a year. [Year and a half relationship... cheated on her last year at this time of year]
After breaking up, initially no contact is best. How do you expect her to miss you if you are constantly "passing by her apartment"? When you move out and get a new phone number, call her to let her know.
BAD IDEA. You sound like a stalker. If I was her and you started doing that to me... 2 words, Restraining Order.
Now you are talking! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out of your parent's house, get a job and throw yourself into it. What have you always wanted to do? Now is your chance to start a career from the ground up, take advantage of it! If you have to start at the lowest position, throw all your energy into it and work your way up the ladder.
If the two of you are destined to be together it will happen when you least expect it! If you sit in the basement staring at the phone it will never ring, so get out there and start your new life!