.... just like my wife blames ME for her unhappiness. It's so twisted.
You are not responsible for your wife's feelings....
My wife has said many times that she raised her brothers. Her mom never did anything and my wife 'lost' her childhood because her mom forced the younger siblings upon her.
Classic codependent situation. See later
that she is always required to think of everything, that all the responsibility is hers and that I don't ever help. The truth (my view) is I do more than the average guy and that my wife has such a ridiculously high expectation level of what should be done in life, of what level of performance we all should live to - that there is NO WAY I, or any man (or woman) could meet that level.
Classic codependent....
If i can understand it, maybe I can fix it???
You can only fix yourself.
Could your husband fix you??
No.
Start here for more insight:
Codependency:
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Learn to love yourself:
"Real love is based in a universal truth that NO ONE can love you, respect you, cherish, or adore you at a level greater than you do these things for yourself. That the amount that you do love, respect, cherish and adore yourself is exactly the level that another will love, respect, cherish and adore you."
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Do you recognise this ("Blowing hot and cold") in your relationship? (Mine was like this!)
"The way the dynamic in a dysfunctional relationship works is in a "come here" - "go away" cycle. When one person is available the other tends to pull away. If the first person becomes unavailable the other comes back and pleads to be let back in. When the first becomes available again then the other eventually starts pulling away again. It happens because our relationship with self is not healed. As long as I do not love myself then there must be something wrong with someone who loves me - and if someone doesn't love me than I have to prove I am worthy by winning that person back."
PLEASE - some advice!
in Divorce Advice
Posted
You are not responsible for your wife's feelings....
Classic codependent situation. See later
Classic codependent....
You can only fix yourself.
No.
Start here for more insight:
Codependency:
link removed
Learn to love yourself:
"Real love is based in a universal truth that NO ONE can love you, respect you, cherish, or adore you at a level greater than you do these things for yourself. That the amount that you do love, respect, cherish and adore yourself is exactly the level that another will love, respect, cherish and adore you."
link removed
link removed
link removed
Do you recognise this ("Blowing hot and cold") in your relationship? (Mine was like this!)
"The way the dynamic in a dysfunctional relationship works is in a "come here" - "go away" cycle. When one person is available the other tends to pull away. If the first person becomes unavailable the other comes back and pleads to be let back in. When the first becomes available again then the other eventually starts pulling away again. It happens because our relationship with self is not healed. As long as I do not love myself then there must be something wrong with someone who loves me - and if someone doesn't love me than I have to prove I am worthy by winning that person back."
link removed
David