Momene

If we're talking purely about sexual relationships, I think we're driven by 2 things:

1. If we're in a "couple" we're more accepted by society (more in England than US)

2. The breeding instinct

But perhaps that's true in an established relationship but his challenge is to get his first date.

Another idea is to move to another city or just hang out somewhere different.

We met and married within 3 months but had 15 great years. The problems we had were to do with things that happened way after we married and couldn't possibly have been forseen.

We're getting back on track now. OK, there's the odd set-back but overall things are getting back to how they were.

I don't think knowing anyone for 5 years helps any more than knowing them for 2. I think if you spend too long being together and NOT moving on to the next stage, you are (both) more likely to explore other options.

I'd just tell him what you just told us.

It wouldn't turn me off but I might worry about the burden of expectation and worry if I'd let her down if she felt less than 100% afterwards.

I don't think he deliberately set out to like her, it just happened. It has happened to me but I've never followed it up, choosing to stay with my wife. If it's a co-worker, it's hard because you can't avoid them.

Many people like attention from others even if they have no intention of following it up. In my opinion, it's a dangerous game to play.

It's given you the opportunity to move on and find someone who can meet more of your needs.

Good luck.

I agree with the others. Both my wife and I suffer from depression but we both know that we have to take responsibility for our own depression and not each others'. It is hard but you have to do it.

Good luck.

This could be temporary but if it continues for a few weeks you need to have "that" talk.

I like my wife being cutey wutey pie!

Ta Ta for now. I'm off homeybyes for the weekendy.

Well done. Stick to your guns.

I've never met him but I hate him already. Just cut him out of your life.

I don't tend to talk on the phone a lot. For me you use the phone to make arrangements to meet up.

Why not have a 'phone conversation instead of texting?

OK, I'm 52 next month but sometimes the old ideas are the best.

If you have to play games to get or keep someone's attention, they are not worth having.

If you're clingy and he's independent it throws up a red flag. You need to become more independent or find a clingy partner.

I dream really crazy stuff that has no relevance to everyday life. I've dreamt about dating girls I'm not attracted to in real life.

I dream silly stuff like I'm at school and my wife or daughter are my classmates.

My wife and I still call each other silly names and talk baby talk. She's 43 and I'm 52 next month.

Sometimes I need to get things straight in my own head before I can discuss them.

yeah, I dated a guy who kept "picking me apart." everything! my skin, my hair cut, my eyeglasses, my style of cooking, nothing was good for him. I finally asked him why he was even with me, he said, "because I made him feel handsome and happy about himself." Glad that he was using me as an anti-depressant.

 

it turned out that he was in love with a female friend (i asked him point blank and he confirmed this) and he was just with me until he got the courage to ask her out. So, yeah, I dumped him. blah!!!! what a coward!

You should also have told his friend what she'd be letting herself in for!

I don't see it as a male/female divide. The cost of living keeps going up and so do people's expectations. The consequences of my debt is that I'll probably never be able to retire.

You could be right. You'll just have to ask her where she was, even though it may lead to a confrontation.

Good luck.

The answer is to be "economical with the truth". Don't lie but don't voulunteer anything you don't need to. The time to reveal all is when you're contemplating taking a relationship to the next level, like moving in or marriage.