Texas2004

What do you guys think about saying "hey, there's the love of my life," to a friend?

I just wanted to let you guys know that I learned she broke up with her boyfriend this weekend.

I agree it is not appropriate to have an extra-curricular relationship, particularly when it is of a boss-subordinate type. I am just trying to figure out what her motivations are and how I should proceed.

I am dealing with a tough situation. I really like a girl that I work with (I am her supervisor). We get along really well together, regular light touching, very close emotionally, enjoy work trips together and do a few things outside of the office.

She has a long-term boyfriend who is pretty much a bum. Instead of criticizing, I choose to not talk about him at all (essentially pretend he does not exist), which makes the relationship a little odd because we talk about everything else.

She has never asked me why I don't - I pretty much assume she knows that it is because I like her. However, after many months of this going on, we have never once had a discussion as to what is going on or what our relationship is about. I will say that because of my actions, she rarely even mentions the guy to me anymore.

I guess my question is this, ladies (or gents): if you are this girl, and still loved your boyfriend (and/or did not have extra feelings for your boss), wouldn't you continue to talk about him, and/or try to put some distance between yourself and your boss (e.g. stop all touching, try to not be so emotionally close) in order to show you are not interested?

I guess I find it very strange that she does not seem uncomfortable about the fact that her boss, whom she is very close to, will not even acknowledge the existence of her boyfriend.

I would be happy to share additional facts and my opinion, but I want to see what other have to say. Thanks for any and all comments.

The problem is, what do you do if the person you want to ask out is your co-worker? This is the problem I am dealing with. Our office and community are small, and I know there would be problems if we were together.

When I say too far, I would say that dating would be too far. Despite my feelings for her, I just do not believe it would be appropriate to have a substantial relationship with her outside of the office. That being said, we have already done a few things outside of work (e.g. go to a baseball game together) but nothing I would classify as romantic.

As to your second point, there have been many times we have had deep, personal conversations where we confide in each other. It just seems that the teasing is very frequent.

Obviously, the most common advice on this board is to just ask her. However, because of the risk associated with it, I am forced to wait.

Another thing I notice that she does a lot is look at my mouth when I am speaking. Anyway, I really can't ask her out because it would be inappropriate and potentially job-threatening. I will have to be content to wait until we no longer work together, and see if something happens then.

There is a girl that I work with, and we have gotten pretty close over the past year or so. What's interesting is that we have developed a relationship that is primarily based on constantly teasing each other. We do like spending time together, and I know there is no underlying negative sentiment to these actions.

Rather, I do this because it would not be appropriate to have a relationship as co-workers, and this is my way of showing continuing interest without taking it too far (as opposed to coming on too strong with constant complimenting). I would like to hear others' experiences with this, including if this is a natural way to express positive feelings for another individual when it is not possible to get together for something more. Or, might this girl have a different motivation for doing so? Any comments would be appreciated.

As I mentioned, it is a difficult situation. I think I have made my intentions reasonably well known, and rather than retreat, she continues to stay fairly "close" to me. However, because we work together, there is like an unspoken thing that we know it can't happen right now. One thing I notice as well is that she never asks me about why I am not dating, and has never suggested fixing me up with anyone.

We do go out to lunch frequently, and have done a few things outside of the office. However, it is hard for me to justify pursuing anything further because we work together. I think my goal is to continue a positive, close relationship so that down the road, when we are not working together, potentially something could happen.

It is true that there is a fair amount of touching (e.g. touching shoulders) and she comes into my work area a lot.

I have a female co-worker who I have grown close to. There is a lot of flirting that goes on between the two of us, much of which has to do with teasing.

I guess my question is, if a girl is interested in a guy as more than a friend, is it natural for her to do a lot of teasing? My own opinion is that she chooses to do this to show interest without being too explicit (because I think we both know it would be inappropriate to carry on a relationship at work).

Anyone have any similar experiences that they could share?

In my case, I notice:

Lots of light touching (shoulders, arms, legs)

Laughs at all of my jokes (good and bad)

She shares everything about her life

Lots of teasing (but very few compliments)

Lots of eye contact

The challenge is determining whether or not she is just trying to be friendly, trying to flirt, or trying to show she has interest in something more than being just friends.

As with many of the other threads in this forum, I am dealing with a situation of trying to identify whether or not a woman I know likes me as just a friend or wants to have something more. I would like to hear your experiences on the top 5 signals that women give to indicate they want to take things to the next level.

John