PhoenixFeather

It's a Baptist church. They have that rule in place for several reasons. First, the congregation needs to know they can trust their spiritual leaders. Any hint of a scandal compromises that trust. Scandals also disrupt the main work of a church, to help its congregation continue in its spiritual journey.

 

But then, how would any leader end up in a relationship? i believe that we were all created to love, and you probably do too, but does this seem like the love of a partner is denyed?

An honest question, this thought has never crossed my mind before.

He told me while there was a group of us around a friends house, he took me to one side and basically said (in a nuttshell); "i don't want to sound all imposing or freaking, but as i've got to know you i've started to get feelings for you. obviously your alot younger than i am and i need to make sure i am wise. eg if i take you home i wont drop you off last. i don't want to pressure you into anything, or make you feel like anything has to be done."

His sister-in-law and i are very good friends, and we're both being accountable to her about how we are feeling so we're can see things objectivly.

 

There you go, and thankyou for your vote of confidence, and i appriciate you concern

I will talk to my parents. I'm sorry if i sounds like I'm ignoring what your saying, but im honestly not. I'm trying to make an objective decision and not rush anything.

Does your church really have that rule? and can ask i you a question? why is that rule in place, and wat domination(?) church do you go to? Methodist/Pentecostal/Church of England...?

Also, if what you consider underage.. the age of consent here is 16, not that makes any different. unless you mean 'adulthood'?

I don't mean exactly the same, lol.. but in princible.

I honestly dont know what to do, i'm trying to see things and give a view from every perspective.

Thank you for the good wishes anyway! lol.

No, i would never leave the church. a relationship is a three way thing.

Man, Woman, God. If all three are always kept a part then the need for such drastic decisions would never arrise. lol, this is just a difference in belief.

I see where your coming from with the age gap, and the leadership role he has. i see the leadership role makes things abit more complicated but he is still human, and is the same as you or me, regardless of what title he has.

Also, waiting until I'm 18 is something that will happen anyway.

 

 

 

I do agree with Scout on that one. However, I need a little more information, such as how he has made his attraction known to you.

 

It is troubeling if someone in a position of power/influence (especially religious influence) takes advantage of their position to pursue a romantic interest. At the same time, you are almost 18, and if he acted like a genlteman about and has not pursued it (especially while you were IN the youth group- he was leading)- then it makes it a little different.

 

I need to know a little more about him and his behavior toward you, then and now, before I can truly give any advice.

 

 

BellaDonna

He told me while there was a group of us around a friends house, he took me to one side and basically said (in a nuttshell); "i don't want to sound all imposing or freaking, but as i've got to know you i've started to get feelings for you. obviously your alot younger than i am and i need to make sure i am wise. eg if i take you home i wont drop you off last. i don't want to pressure you into anything, or make you feel like anything has to be done."

His sister-in-law and i are very good friends, and we're both being accountable to her about how we are feeling so we're can see things objectivly.

And no, i havent been in the youth group for about 4/5 months now, i left when i turnt 17. Also, the youth leader role was handed over to another guy about 15 months ago and he became assistant pastor, if that makes anydifference.

Now, nothing between us has changed appart from knowledge. we're still the friends we were before.

I will be telling my parents if anything develops, i have a close relationship with them and i consider myself lucky that i have parents who are reasonable and understanding.

I really dont know what to think? 10 years is a bigger age gap than i ever imagined, and after all i am still only 17.

Hello, I'm new to this forum and i have a concern about a possible relationship. I've read lots of the topics in this section to read you views, but i thought'd i'd write my own problem to see what you say!

(Oh, and im a christian from England if there are some things that sound weird to you!)

I have recently found out about a guy that has developed feelings for me at the church i go to. i've known him for about 3 years now and we get along really well. He's 27 and i'm 17, and i think im quite mature for my age. I'm not sure that the age gap in itself is not an issue, and if anything did happen i would like to wait until im 18 (october) before anything happens, for my parents sake and mine. do you think this is unwise?

Another thing, he used to be youth leader at our church, and now he is assistant pastor, does this/should it change anything? he's still human and has feelings like the rest of us. He sacrificed all relationships when he started work for the church for these past 10 years, so hes very much in the same mindset as me, just wants to have innocent fun and get to know eachother.

I'm obviously going to give us time to get to know eachother and not rush into anything, afterall im not the person to mess around. I'm also going to spend a good deal of time praying.

What are your thoughts?

~phoenix feather~