D_lutina

On 3/20/2024 at 2:09 AM, ShySoul said:

I think he's being honest with you. He enjoys spending time with you and chatting with you. He wants to be friends (or more). But whatever is happening in his life is sucking up his time and energy. He knows it's not fair to keep ditching you or yanking you around, so he told you. 

I wouldn't get too hung up on him. If you have some feelings for him still, that's fine. Just don't be the kind to wait around and hope you will message you today only to be depressed if it doesn't happen. Focus on being happy on your own. If he does message you one day, just treat it as meeting up with a long lost friend. See how you feel and where it goes. Or if you want to message him in a month or two, go ahead.

Basically, never leave a door completely shut behind you because you never know what could happen. But don't spend so much time staring at that door that you forget to look out the window and enjoy all the life happening around you.

Unfortunately after that day I haven’t heard from him neither I reached out 

21 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

I get the feeling he's not very interested.  BUT, if it's true that he's going through a lot and needs space, then all you can do is respect that.  He knows where to find you if he wants to.  Meantime, carry on with your life.

I’ll sure will but thank you and everyone for their insights 

16 hours ago, ShySoul said:

Unless he has given you some kind of indication that he is not interested or is making an excuse, then take him at his word. Life can be busy and complicated. It's entirely possibly that he does want to spend more time with you, this just isn't the best timing with whatever else is going on in his life. Honestly, it sounds like you two have been very mature and respectful in your communications, each being understanding and not pushing the other. Keep doing what you are doing and following your gut. What other people think is going on with him is their opinion, it may be completely off.

As far as moving on, it’s really not a black or white question. How do you feel? How much did you like him and are you ready to move on? If there wasn't much attachment, you might be able to put those feelings aside. But if they had started to really grow, then it's not that easy to just say forget him and move on. So go at whatever pace you are comfortable with. If you need to take some time or hold onto some hope, do so. The main thing is to do what feels right for you.

I feel confused because he ghosted me once and now he is somewhat disappearing again but this time mentioning that he’ll be. Back (when I don’t know). Well I was starting to like him..

9 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Is the a lot going on perhaps a wife or a partner?  I agree with the others.

He is fully single but currently he is studying and in our previous conversations he mentioned that he was looking for a job I think the combination of both and more is stressing him out..

2 hours ago, ShySoul said:

It's interesting to me how much stock people place into the opinions of others over trusting their own instincts. These family and friends weren't doing the talking with him or going on the date with him. They can't say for certain what he is thinking. A group of random people online who have never met him likewise can't know how interested he was or is. Any outside commentary is going to be filtered through the personal experiences and biases that the commentator brings with them.

The one person who has interacted with him regularly and is best situatied to understand his behavior, is you. So do you trust him? Do you believe that this is a matter of timing and that right now is simply not a good time for him? If you do nothing is wrong with that. Likewise, if you sense deception, trust those feelings. 

The reality is we don't know where his head is at, only he does. So trying to figure it out is a waste of time. The key is to focus on what is best for you. You can "move on" if you feel like it. You can leave the door open for a friendship and possibly more. You can talk to other people and see if there is someone else. Or you can just focus on being happy with you and having fun on your own. It's really all about being who you are and being happy in your own life.

Honestly I don’t know because he told me that he’ll comeback but I don’t fully trust him. I guess maybe is not ever since his request for space we haven’t spoke..

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

What happened on the date?  Who initiated it?  

 

He did and it went well

20 hours ago, D_lutina said:

 

He was the one who took me on the date and went super well

Should I move on?

I met my crush on Bumble we talked well for a couple of weeks and the I got ghosted.  Then months later he came back and he came back I asked why and his reason was stress with school and finances. Which I understood and tried to encourage him. We spoke from January until end of February . In most of our conversations I started but we had really nice discussions and we even went on a date. I end up a couples days later mentioning my constant initiation of discussion he took accountability and said that he is currently not consistent because he is going through a lot so it’s better for him to take time to stabilise his life first so then after he can better focus on us. I said I understand take all the time needed. He also mentioned that he really enjoyed talking with me and it was nothing against the fact that he is asking for space. 

He is 34 I am 24F 

I really like this guy but since he mentioned space and I respecting his decision I really don’t know how to move. 

Some family members and friends said that he is not that interested or he is playing but honestly I am confused.

(I’m not a Native English speaker thank you In advance for your commentary everyone 🫶🏾✨)