SummerBug03

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? How much time does he spend hanging out with his female friends? 

Do you two go on dates? Why is he texting his friends when you two are together? Perhaps it's more his rudeness and cluelessness than your jealousy? 

Unfortunately this is a lot of headaches and heartaches for dating only 12 weeks.  That's the getting to know you period and so far it's just creating angst.

Please reflect on your feelings and trust your instincts. Perhaps reconsider how compatible you are. 

He's 23 and I'm 20. 

I am not sure how much time he spends with his female friends. And he's not texting them while I'm with him, it's just that I've happened to peer over his shoulder while he responded to an important text and saw that he had been texting a specific girl, that he has mentioned to me before. I almost got to meet her, but she ended up being busy. 

We do go on dates, but we are both in different schools and live about 30 minutes apart . When we first started dating our schedules lined up so I saw him almost every other day. Now we're only able to see each other twice, maybe three, times a week. I was having a hard time for another reason a few days ago, and he came up to spend time with me and take me to dinner to help me feel better. 

I mostly think this heartache is caused by my unsureness in how to approach the situation. I don't like causing problems, but if I don't bring things up, he isn't going to think anything is wrong.  I'm stuck spiraling, imagining what could be, instead of just asking him. He's not a mind reader. Plus, I don't even know how he feels about my male friendships 

I am in my first, relatively new relationship of 3, almost 4, months. Things have been going well. I've been trying my best to be open and honest with my bf, and not afraid of conflict, especially when it comes to my feelings. 

My issue is that I have been struggling with some insecurity and jealousy about his female friends. He is open about them, talks to me about them, and I've even met some of them. He even asked me if I'd feel comfortable if he gave one of his female friends a motorcycle ride, because he likes giving people rides, and didn't want to upset me. 

I am someone that believes it's ok to have opposite sex friendships. But I still get jealous when I see that he's been texting female friends, especially the ones I haven't met. If I met them, I know I wouldn't feel as jealous. I also know that these feelings stem from my own self insecurity, and insecurity in our relationship. 

How to I sit down with my bf to talk about my feelings and boundary desires in a constructive manner, while also allowing the both of us to have the freedom in friendships that I want us to have?