Gleejelly1

Just an update to this thread as it will just help me to get it out of my system.

my child had their first couple of days at their new school this week. It’s a long story that i won’t go into as to why they have already started as we arent moving til next week. But it means a long commute to school this week and Initially it went well but they are very reluctant to talk about it as the week goes on, with random outbursts of crying and out of character behaviour. They haven’t been settling at night when previously having no issues at bed time, saying afraid of the dark, saying they have worries but not wanting to talk about it.

im trying to do my best and im trying not to show my stress but it’s very upsetting to think of them being so unsettled when previously so stable and happy at last school.

i really prayed for an easy transition as it was one of my biggest worries and this is just making it all seem so much more daunting now 😞 my brain is frazzled 

Yea it really is helping thank you so much 😊 

I talk to my husband but he is mostly just massively excited and the move to m lesser accommodation doesn’t bother him as much as me. Also of course he would naturally be more excited as it’s where he is from and where his family is, so not as much an adjustment. He gets it will be harder for me but I don’t really think he fully understands just how much more difficult it will be. I also spend so much time at home, as I’m currently so often with the baby, it’s winter so not getting out as much and when I go back to work I work from home.

His family will likely help with a fraction of the childcare when I go back to work, which will be very helpful. My family are about 1.5 hours away which isn’t horrendous I know, but just much further than I’m used to. 
 

my brain is so often just a jumble of worry about sp many different parts of the whole process. I don’t really want to leave but also feel the wait to move is hanging over me so much as well. I’ve found the advice really helpful and thank you to the people who are trying to help me. 

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How far away are you moving from your friends and family? You seem to be trying to convince yourself it's a better move and at the same time liked your old house. Whose idea was moving? 

Temporary housing while your place is being built seems unnecessarily and inordinately stressful rather than staying where you were until your new home is finished. Why are you doing that and whose idea was it? Please reach out to friends and family if you are homesick.

I know I probably sound very negative about it but I know deep down that this is an opportunity we can’t turn down. It was mutually agreed to move  and complete a self build. It’s such a great opportunity as it means we will have a beautiful house in a beautiful place. I do love the house we are currently in but it’s too small for our family now and was never intended to be a forever home.

the reason we are renting is two fold. Number one because we needed to sell our house in order to be able to proceed financially with the new build. We are moving to the new area mostly to allow my child to start her new school at the earliest possible time to make the transition hopefully easier for her, as I think the younger she is the less disruption it will hopefully cause her. We have to move anyway as we’ve sold,  so we might as well move to the new area.
although I know it’s all necessary it just doesn’t make it easy. I do feel conflicted about it all, but keep telling myself we could never stay here forever anyway.

7 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

I’ve found that saying things like, “I’m not good at…” only compounds my problem. Everything we say to ourselves is self-hypnosis, so reframing is important. I’ll say things like, “I’m learning how to …” and, “I’m proud of my choice to…”

In terms of the interim place, “I’m teaching my kids how to set up a temporary place to camp,” and “I’m making this fun for us…“ “I want my kids to learn how to enjoy an adventure…” “My kids will learn how to embrace changes because of me…”

 The decision is to make this harder on myself or easier, so I choose easier, and that becomes my mantra while I get it done. Does this discount or invalidate my anxiety? No, it’s a coping strategy to avoid drilling myself into a deeper hole to climb out of.

Also consider that it’s been your own domestic talents that have built the environment you’ve loved, and you are taking that talent with you. So credit yourself with the ability to create a loving and lovable home no matter where you go. Show off your talents to your children, and they will never forget this.

Thank you so much. That’s so helpful and encouraging. I know I’m sounding very deflated on this thread but in reality these are the types of things I try to say to myself I guess. I’m just venting here all the worries and concerns that are bubbling beneath the surface and it’s good to have somewhere to let it out. 
 

where we are moving is close to my husbands family so we will have them around. That’s some comfort, but it’s just different when it’s not your own family if you kno what I mean. Where we live at the moment was new to both of us so we were both in it together and we made it feel like home, so hopefully I will be able to do the same again. I better cos this is out forever home and this is it for life! 
 

Wow good luck with the latest move. Any tips on how to cope with the huge feeling of disconnection and being so unsettled? I haven’t even moved yet but already feeling it. I know it’s coming 

Yes I do try to do hiit workouts 1-2 times a week and yoga but with being so busy with this move it’s hard to fit it in right now but definitely on my list of coping mechanisms for when we move.

I think the thing that’s making it extra hard is that I love our home, it’s so comfortable and joyful to live in. Of course there are down sides such as size which is why we are doing all this and building our own house which I know will be worth it all in the long run. But we’re not there yet and the house we are  moving to in the interim is just super old and dated and tiny for our family. I know it could be much worse, but I find it hard to be motivated about the move when we’re moving somewhere much less comfortable than where we currently live.

I’ll just have to suck it up i know and it’s a sacrifice to eventually be in our new, spacious home eventually.

I’ll just have to try and be brave 

Thank you both.

I am trying really hard to focus on what I can achieve each day and trying not to meet trouble had way but just finding it so hard not to overthink and worry. I’m not very good with change and this is just so life changing and a lot all at once. I just feel so unsettled, almost panicked at the thought of what is about to happen. I know I just need to take it one step at a time. 

I’m feeling super stressed and anxious right now. I am moving in a couple of weeks and already feeling such terrible feelings of home sickness even at the thought of the upcoming change.

I have two young children and have lived in our current home for 8 years. We are currently building our new home in a totally new area. Until the house is built we will be renting a small property, much smaller and much more dated abs basic than our current home.

I have a baby so I’m still on maternity leave from work. My daughter is having to move school and so much change is happening all at once and I honestly am so overwhelmed.

im supposed to be going back to work in a months time shortly after we move. Im so worried my daughter won’t settle well into new school, so worried about coping in this new place and so heartsick for my current home.

I know in the long run it will be worth it as we are building our dream home and we always knew this phase of renting would be hard.

im just really struggling now it’s getting so close. Has anyone else done anything like this?