JFCGTR74

46 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. I disagree with your therapist. Playing private investigator and rifling through her devices is pointless. So is gathering "evidence", since you can divorce without it. All this tells you is your marriage is even more on the rocks than before.

You need to confront this head-on. So far it seems she's lonely and seeking attention and going about it in a destructive fashion. 

.The more pressing situation is her mental health and mood swings, and that you two have a 5 mo old infant.

Playing cat and mouse games isn't going to get you anywhere. Do you want to improve your marriage? Or are you fed up enough with the moods and bizarre behavior to dissolve the marriage?

What you can do is suggest marriage therapy because whether you divorce or not, you're going to have to get along enough to coparent. 

Thank you for this. I'm not sure what I want to do at this point... I hadn't planned on a divorce for sure, but this behavior is alarming enough that I seriously need to do some thinking. 

1 hour ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Yes, lawyer up to be prepared and find out what you need for evidence.

How did you know to check this particular website?

Her browser history, and (thankfully for me) she had her login & password on auto-save. Pretty careless, to be honest 

Wife and I have been married for 1 year, been together for 5. We've always had some struggles because she has mild anxiety & mood disorders. She will say some of the most vile things in an argument, and her closest friends & family concur with my experiences. Still, unlike a lot of couples with problems, sex and/or intimacy is definitely not one of them. We've always had a very healthy, very frequent sex life. Lots of physical affection both ways, as well.

Lately she's been particularly awful to me, like more than usual. Found out she has postpartum depression, so I've chalked it up mostly to that. But even though I'm definitely not a nosy or jealous type, my gut told me to check her devices recently and my intuition was correct.

Found that she created an Ashley Madison profile within the last month (since the baby was born) and has several active chat threads going. All of the guys are in our immediate vicinity.

She hasn't sent any explicit pictures (yet) and her conversations have been mostly innocuous like 'Hey,' 'How's your day going?' etc etc

However, we all know what the express intent is for that website: to have an affair. I have spoken to a therapist I see and she suggested not saying anything to her yet and let her assume I don't know. I've been taking pictures of her conversations to 'save the receipts' in case our marriage goes south. But I logged into her desktop computer just a bit ago and discovered she was talking to someone just this morning while *I was asleep in the bed next to her.* 

I'm furious, as you might imagine., But I'm trying to keep my cool and not say anything.... it's really difficult. I'm interested in what the community here thinks. Confront her with it, or keep it cool for now? Thanks