Meepfish

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Well, why dont just do that?

Sounds like you finally saw who he really is and dont want to stay there no matter what he says. So use that and close that door for good. Only have contact regarding the kid and dont mind him at all. He made his choice and you are far better without him.

Thank you so much, 

I wish he would’ve just been one of those fully absent dead beat types all this time. Instead he’s come in and out, kept his foot in the door. Creating a lot of emotional and mental confusion for me. He’d beg for weeks to be allowed in again get what he wants and ghost us for another 3-5 months. However any time I try to get away the same way he panics and tries to do right.  It’s so conflicting when you have a child involved courts would say I’m obligated you know ? He takes advantage of it though 

2 hours ago, HeartGoesOn said:

Never become someone's second choice.  He either wants to be married or be single, he can't have both. You need to make that clear if you plan on staying...Hopefully not.

In any event maybe it's tIme to send him packing, and live your life peacefully.

I’ve made it clear plenty of times. He knows we will never be back together but he says he would like for me to give him a chance  to make up for all his wrongs. They always want to do so after the woman is already burnt out and doesn’t want to do the same or have anymore chances to give

Ugh.. I have spent years trying to be civil with my ex so that he could be apart of our child’s life. It was lonely, painful, I invested way more than I should’ve. I went through hella mental agony and emotional pain trying to keep up with him. After 5 years I got some damn sense and finally started to taper my energy from him, marking it as a lost cause. As a matter of fact I could give two ——s if I never see him again a day in my life. 
 

One day he said he needed some time to find himself and I used that as an opportunity to go do some well needed growth in myself too. I had finally stopped thinking about him so much, I was getting to a point I felt like myself before I knew him, eating better, having fun with my son. We were two months seperated felt like he was going to stay away this time.

Well that didn’t happen, he came back doing his usual crying and whining about being better for us. Now that he’s serious I’m not and would rather my son and I move forward without him. I mean this entire time my son has watched us both through this ugly time and I’m sure picked up some trauma from it. He’s starting to revert to some of his old ways coming when he feels like it bringing our son back when he feels like it. Only wants one day out of his life for him. Me ? I’d rather close down this entire operation and continue forward without the headache. 
 

He’s just hiding behind the guise of spirituality and I can see all his bull*** through it. His plan didn’t work out with the new girl so now he wants to “make it up to his family” hella cringe. I feel that he sensed I was getting away and started doing everything I’ve been begging for to keep me stuck and dependent on him.