delacrank123

Yeah. I finally reached out to her again. And she wasn’t interested. I’m not sure why women have a hard time just admitting these things but I learned a lot from the interaction and I think when I get better at dating more. I’ll know how to read the room better.

16 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

What's the deal for Wednesday? Do you guys have a date set up? Have you two been in any contact since the last date? 

It's hard to tell here, since it seems your anxiety about all this is connected to much deeper realms, but speaking for myself? I just didn't care all that much at this stage of dating. If I felt like seeing someone, I reached out. If someone felt like fading on me? I never really saw that as rejection so much as dating.

Guess what I'm saying is that being on eggshells really doesn't get you anything. Confidence and curiosity are attractive qualities. Doesn't mean you get everything and everyone you want, but I'd work on cultivating those things as your fuel here.  

 

Well, originally I set a date for a week in advanced on Wednesday. That would have been the second time we would be scheduled to me. This is over the span of 3 weeks. 

I guess after we spoke on the phone a little she offered to meet me much sooner since I had mentioned that I enjoyed her company so much. 

That was when I described the second date as feeling kind of meh. I asked her if she still wanted to go out on Wednesday since she leaving on the weekend to go on a wedding. She said let’s play it by ear.

On Saturday I casually mentioned I would be in the city to work and play sports since she lives there. That was 2 days after we met. 

No response. So at this point I’m feeling like I’m overextended and don’t even feel like trying to confirm anything for Wednesday.

It would make sense for me to not even reach out right? Or is this being immature.

I’m starting to get a lot of anxiety about reaching out. I feel like a normal person would just text the person and talk to them. However, I’ve gotten a few negative signals by now and I just feel like reaching out would other further push them away by being insecure.

Is this normal, should I listen to my gut and just not reach out at all, waiting to see if she reaches out to me instead or just blowing the entire thing off.

I think a lot of my anxiety is attributed to my lack of a social life. Meaning that if I was going out more and socializing, I wouldn’t be stressing these things. I can see how if the roles were reversed, it probably would be annoying for me to comfort someone when nothing is happening in terms of my feelings towards them.

Im starting to feel more and more like she’s just going to either flat out reject me when Wednesday comes. Or make an excuse, what is normal to do in these situations. Does it make more sense just just distance my self emotionally or should I allow myself to just be and hope that I can me someone with my similar attachment patterns?

2 hours ago, jul-els said:

You just met her. Making assumptions about her character or history are unreasonable and unfounded. If you want to get to know her better, you need to slow down and do so. She’s probably sensing your anxiety and it’s not attractive. To answer your question; you’ve been on two dates, there’s no “worst” to prepare for. I don’t know if you’re being paranoid, but you are jumping the gun in this case. 

That’s a good point. A less anxious person wouldn’t press issues and just let things ride. I’m going to use that in the future and I’ll let you guys know if we end up meeting on Wednesday or not which is a day we considered for the future.

29 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You met at a bar....alcohol was being consumed that night? Then things cooled off ....when the beer goggles came off, she lost interest. Leave her be. 

I think you misunderstood. Meeting her wasn’t considered the date. After I got her number we went out.

I went out on two dates with this women I met at a bar. The first time we went out, it felt like there was a lot of chemistry and there was a lot of making out and things of that nature.

Then she kind of went cold for a week or two, and I decided to text her and she responded the next day and we ended up talking on the phone for a little while.

I realized afterwards that she was just being a little guarded and opening up to me slowly. A part of me feels very impatient with this whole process and I want just to get familiar with her. 

However, I am uncertain of how she feels towards me and it’s causing me a lot of stress. I know I just met her and we’ve only been on two dates. The second date, was shorter and she was kind of in a rush to get home. 

My feeling was that it was work related, but I have difficulty determining if that’s what’s going on or if she feels indifferent towards me. Like before we were very affectionate, but I felt like her level of interest wasn’t as strong and I feel like the more time that goes by the more she will start to wane.

She has admitted to me that she is compulsive and maybe the novelty of meeting for the first time has calmed down and things are starting to get more serious. My feeling is that she can’t handle that, and that’s probably why she is a single unmarried woman at her age.

Should I prepare for the worst or I am being paranoid.