ocoop

2 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Sorry about this—sounds very complicated.

How long have you been together? And given that you know your gf far better than us, how in-character or out of sorts is it for her to get this drunk with a friend? Had male attention, and her seeking it, ever been a concern of yours?

Did you mean you asked her friend what happened, or your girlfriend? Are you friendly with her friend? 

The IG post is a thorn in this, no doubt. Is there any chance at all that it was posted before your gf told her what happened? I ask because, murky and awful as all this is, that she called you immediately strikes me as a gesture of trust. 

All that aside, you are allowed to be both sincerely sensitive to this and questioning things, like your viability as a match, in the wake of this. But, again, I’d like to understand how long you’ve been together and how well you know each other before going down that path. 

We've been together for 1 year but have known each other for 4 years. It's not of character for her to get that drunk unfortunately, but I've never had any concerns of her seeking male attention since being together . She admitted she'd been hit on a few times during the holiday and saying no was the easiest thing ever because of me. 

I'd asked her friend who i don't know very well, about what had happened in general to get a better picture, not about the IG post. The IG post is a bit murky as I've not had confirmation that the guy was in it, just an assumption when she claimed how good the night was with them both and some guys. This didn't sit well and I'll try seek more clarity on this. It was after my GF booked the next flight home that night so her friend was aware of the incident.

My GF said she can read all the messages between them both on that night / morning if I want to.

I do trust that she's told me the truth and I'll be there for her in that sense. I'm more concerned about how she got into that situation, is being 'blackout drunk' a good enough excuse to end up in another persons bed?

My girlfriend got blackout drunk whilst on holiday with her friend and ended up at an 'afterparty' in hotel rooms where four guys staying, that they'd just met that day a few hours earlier.

My GF and her friend ended up separated as they got there her friend went to one of the guy’s rooms. My girlfriend doesn't remember anything but has ended up in another guy’s room, who she's come round to/woken up to him having sex with her. She had to tell him to stop twice before he did, she claimed he was shocked, he helped her get her stuff together and she left in tears and instantly called me saying she'd just been raped. I ensured she was now safe and with somebody she could trust and informed her to call the police. She refused to call the police 'as they wouldn't have any evidence' and that it was her fault that she got so drunk.

She is now home, we've had a chat face-to-face.  I’m being super sensitive about what happened and I’m there for her emotionally but she doesn’t seem to phased by it. Should I be concerned that she's ended up in a guy’s hotel room after drinking so much and is only blaming herself??

She's claimed that she wasn't forced into a room and hadn’t engaged in any consensual sexual activity (although she doesn’t remember anything??), she thinks she might’ve passed out and has been taken advantage of. The story has however changed a few times on what she can and can’t remember.

Her friend who was aware of what happened had posted an Instagram story the next day of how much of a good night they’d had with the guy in it. I’ve gone to her to ask what had happened and I’ve been ignored.

Do I try to give this relationship a chance knowing that she can get so drunk and put herself in that position?

Any advice on how to tackle this would be appreciated