Matthew Nos

Also worth noting that it is likely she is unmediated right now. 

She is coming to collect the last of her things tomorrow and she also hasn’t updated her relationship status on social media so not sure what to make of that. 
 

she knows I’m going to therapy to work on my issues I brought into the relationship also

20 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

What exactly were you doing? 

13 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Right so she saw it was all about you and not about caring about her.  Also you still haven't said what "freedom" she wanted? My sense is she was abstract about it and you made assumptions about what she wanted that suited you in your quest to convince her to stay -for your self interest. You know the old saying "If you love something let it go -if it comes back it's yours. If not, it never was."  

Yes I would agree with that first part. She was unclear what freedom she was referring too, I think she wanted to freedom to hang out with friends , do activities she wanted, do her uni study’s and work without having to worry about how it would effect me (She is a people pleaser and get obligated to make time for me when she didn’t want to).Which was confusing as I always said don’t worry about me, you do what you want, just let me know what you are doing so I know weather to expect to see you or not and so I know that you’re safe

3 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

What exactly were you doing? 

When she brought up the idea of moving out I came up with everything idea under the sun on how she could stay living with me and also get her freedom. I also used emotions to influence her decisions she was making (emotional manipulation) out of fear of losing her. 

3 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

Continue the work with your therapist. Her behaviour is very much in line with what it feels like finally being free out of a disabling and controlling relationship. She’s finished with it and feeling free. People can choose to leave any time and that’s part of the beauty of being in a relationship. You are not forced to stay or make anything work as long as one person doesn’t feel it’s appropriate or healthy any longer or it just isn’t working. 

Keep telling yourself it’s over and it didn’t work. Accept the break up and that you don’t have control over it. 

I know that’s it’s over. I know I need to work on my controlling behaviour, my therapist and I have identified what has caused it. So am making huge in roads on that. 
 

I know I have no control over the break up. Do you think there is a chance she will be open to idea of rekindling things in the future ? Knowing I’m working on eliminating the behaviour I have displayed in the past 

4 hours ago, catfeeder said:

How quickly did you move in together after you started dating, and what are your ages?

6 months. Was due to convenience more than anything, looking back on it now. I am 29, she is 30. 

My bipolar girlfriend of 2 years have left me. She moved out about 6 weeks ago (we tried to make it work living apart) with a single female who was very much about the single independent lifestyle. I know she is not great with her medication also and is easily influenced by her immediate surroundings. 
 

The first 18 months of our relationship was near perfect, it was fun, sex almost daily, engaging, adventurous, an emotional bond and connection that was so close, people envied us, they thought we had been together for years. It was easy, euphoria, , we were lovers, best friends it was just great.

Until she brought up the idea of moving out 6 months ago. This made me insecure in the relationship, I begged and pleaded and tried to come up with ways we could make it work which allowed her to get that sense of freedom and independence she was after. But in the end she wouldn’t have it and I eventually accepted that she wanted to move out. It was hard and it wasn’t perfect but I did love and support her in this decision and she promised me she would try and make it work. Note, I am seeing a therapist about controlling behaviour I displayed during this few months (it’s related to a fear of loss and grief due to the suicide of 2 close friends of mine).

The day she moved out, it’s like she changed completely as a person. She made no effort in the relationship, she was cold, distant and just didn’t care about the relationship anymore, despite my efforts to make the relationship work. She told me she was just shut off and didn’t care about the relationship anymore. 
 

I have no idea what to do? How can we have had what we had, to her completely shutting off within a matter of days and completely changing as a person. 
 

I am so lost, so confused and so hurt.