Confusedgirlsbf

12 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I don't understand how you can have been together for a year, fighting for a year, but you only met four months ago. Do you mean this was an online only relationship?

Sorry for the confusion, we dated for first one month, it was ldr for next 7 months with constant visits every 2-3 weeks. Then I had to move to another country and we are away from each other for 4 months

6 minutes ago, Andrina said:

How old are you? How did you two meet? How far in distance do you live? Do you take turns visiting each other, or is it one-sided? Do you spend days together at one of your homes? When do you two plan to close the distance, or has this not been discussed? Do you have the same dating/relationship/life goals?

You both sound immature and clueless about how to go about what to discuss and what not to discuss. It's important at the beginning to find out about, in general, what a person's dating/relationship history has been. But to get into details about it, and to regularly bring the subject up, is not wise. As you see, you start picturing what you don't want to imagine. Don't ask what you don't want to know. If a partner starts blurting about the past, tell them you no longer want to hear about an ex, and would rather talk about the present and future of the relationship that now matters: yours and his.

If you do this, mentally start over again and see if you can go the distance. If you do, you'll look back at this time as totally frivolous and not worth the anxiety.

LDRs usually only succeed if a firm foundation has already been established before the long distance happens. Sounds like your foundation has begun on sea sand, so no wonder your castle is toppling already.

We are 26 years old. She is my best friend’s cousin. We live in opposite ends of the world with a time difference of 10 hours. We used to meet each other when we were in the same country. Now she is trying to move here to the country I am living in 6 months. We had spent time together for the first 4 months and I felt there is no better person for me than her. We speak to each other for hours everyday even with the time difference. We wish to marry each other soon.

But this has been bothering us a lot! She goes into a hole crying and punishing herself. I always feel guilty for getting her into this state. I lied about the exact details of my past. We usually end fights by her asking some questions about my past and me answering to them and reassuring her that mine was not a serious relationship. She had built dreams about me without knowing my past. When I told her the truth, her dreams got shattered and the wound still exists. Please help us in getting over this ☹️

I am the bf here.. I made a mistake by telling those words when we first kissed, I don’t know what I was thinking, but I didn’t mean to compare. Since then, Every time I say something in general, she thinks I am trying to compare. And we start fighting. She had told me she was a virgin, so I was scared she might judge me and leave since we just started dating. I wanted her to understand me before I tell the truth.(I always wanted to be honest with her from the beginning). Turned out to be a blunder. This is my second relationship (my first was just a short one, can be considered as FwB), hence I did not know how to go about disclosing my first relationship to her. 
 

We have been fighting for a year now because of this. This is the only reason we fight to be honest. I am the happiest person when I am with her physically or virtually on  call. I know she is too. We are just tired of going through this again and again. Please help