Need_Advice

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Talk to the landlord about removing yourself from the lease. Take your name off all the accounts, as she suggested. Stop paying for the apt, since you have your own house.

Next step is to arrange a mutually convenient time to get your belongings so you can both be free off all this.

I am not 💯 sure but if I do take my name off wouldn't it be impossible for her to stay there because they used my credit and everything to accept us into the apartment.

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Then it's not your residence and you have no business being there. You have your own house. Live there.  Get your stuff out of her apt.

You cheated, she kicked you out. So move on. It is Not your apt. 

Well it is I got it for us and my name is on the lease but it's for the best that I let her have it and hopefully she pays the bills which I trust her to do so it doesn't affect my credit

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

So, she was bit "too much" and you texted some other girls? And she broke up but you still share a place together?

First of all, she broke up and literally bringing some other dude at your own place. There is no reconciliation there, that is over. Share the dog or let one or other take care of it, but after lease is over, just move out on your own and let her move in with other guy or whatever she wants. She is literally keeping you there for the name on the lease, that you cant even be at your own(by lease) place is ridiculous. You were both way over the top. You with "emotionally cheating" and her with using you because its convinient for now. So its best to just cut all out. You are way too focused to please her. While she doesnt care and even brings another dude home. Its still your place. Even if she brings another guy, she cant forbid you to be there. In fact, pretty sure since your name is on the lease you can do it to her. So demand to be able to sleep for 4 months there. If she objects tell her that you will involve police. If she wants to be there for 4 months because its convinient you can at least demand your rights.

You're right I will let her decide it's her life. And I will work with her on moving my stuff

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

I'm confused now. Is this apartment not actually your primary residence? You said your name is on the lease so I assumed that it was your home. 

But then you also say "my house" - do you have your own home separately, that is not this shared apartment? 

Sorry for the confusion it is. I sleep there everyday. And yes I have a house separately.

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Arrange a mutually convenient time to collect your belongings.  You have your own place. Stop paying your portion of the bills and rent, if you were doing that.

Is the house you own your legal residence? 

This is simple. You cheated and she kicked you out. Now you're living in your own house.

Whatever stuff you have there you can go get. But you'll have to arrange a mutually convenient time.

You're not "co-parenting" a dog. Decide who keeps the dog.

The apartment was like my primary residence. I only went to see my brother at my house on Wednesdays but no every wednesday. So since this happened a few weeks ago( me starting to not spend the night everyday) we still text here and there I talked to her and she wants to move all the bills in her name. But I don't want to be told when I can see the dog and when I can't because the guy might be around. She listens to her sister a lot and I feel like it's all her idea to date her finance's friend literally right after I started not going there every night because she said she needed space. I know it's very hard for her to sleep alone. I feel that way too now after being with her for a year. What if he is entertaining this guy for the time that we are not together because she needs company or is she done done? what I have been doing is I grab stuff I need for work for the week and have them in my car. I can't sleep at my house it doesn't feel like home so I park my car at my house and stay in my car and I can't sleep at all. I have been going on walks and journaling and playing Pokemon but it only helps for a little bit then it's back to me feeling super sick to my stomach and what I should have done to keep the relationship and what I should do to try to get her back.

Thank you all for your suggestions and opinions. I did a terrible thing I cannot undo. I hope she realizes she is making a mistake jumping right into a relationship with this guy because she needs that emotional support and thinks about the good times and the dog because co-parenting him sucks and that she realizes we can get back stronger and raise the family we always wanted. 

Thank you all and have a good night. 

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Well, he cheated so wouldn't she be the doormat if she allowed him to stay?

OP, how did you think texting other women would be OK while you were supposed to be in a relationship?  Because you were "frustrated"?  Did you think she would never find out?

I admit and take full responsibility for texting other people.  I don't want to come off as defensive. I was burnt out from two jobs and school and family back home which I support asking for help and I was worried about money always so I tried to work so hard but while doing that and she being very needy( she wanted too much attention) it got frustrating and at one point I doubted the relationship that is why I did that which is very wrong and not the way to handle something like that. Like I mentioned I have worked on myself realized there's more to life than trying to comfortable financially and not happy. This is my first real relationship. Growing up African  where I am from your parents always frowned on being with a girl and after I moved here the culture is different and everything is different and I found the best person to call my everything and I ***ed up. 

I like to think it's not too late to win her back or you think it is? 

5 minutes ago, melancholy123 said:

So actually it's your apt. since your name is on the lease, not hers.  She cant keep you out of YOUR apt.  A police man can help you get inside if that's what you want.

She's got a new boyfriend, so you have been dumped.

If I was you I'd have her evicted and you move in to that apt. or lease it out to someone else, or else see if her name can be put on the lease and your name removed.

It happened so fast it has me really confused with myself it hurts really bad knowing after a week of me starting to stay at my house to give her space to get to realize I made mistakes and I am willing to do anything to make it work, this guy tells her he's liked her for a while he just wanted to be respectful of our relationship. And like I said she really can't sleep alone. Ever since we started dating before we got the apartment I have been sleeping over at her mom's where she lived and her at my house. I asked her if she's willing to make things work and she said I was the one that cheated "so no for now" And when I took the dog out on a walk the other day I tried to convince her she's making a mistake and she was like " who knows this might not workout"

My girlfriend ended things between us not long ago. She started talking and going out with her sister's fiance best friend. She can't really be alone so one of the things we did while we were together was I always came to the apartment we got together at night to sleep over no matter if I worked double or went to my house my brother and I got together. We have about 4 months left on the lease and my stuff are still in the apartment however I am not allowed to be in there when she is around but I found out from her  the guy she's been seeing for week has been sleeping over. The reason why she broke up with me was because I texted other people while I was with her because I got frustrated sometimes when she was too much but I never wanted to leave the relationship. I realized that I had my priorities wrong from working so much and not spending enough quality time together so I put in a month notice at my other job to show her it was wrong of me to not pay attention and spend more time and deeply sorry for texting other people even tho I never met them or did anything with them but I admit that is still considered cheating. I just don't know what to do if I should give up because this guy is literally sleeping over at the apartment and who knows what they have been doing. We have a dog together so I get to pick him up sometimes from the apartment and take him on a walk. I feel like the only reason why my stuff is at the apartment is because my name is on the lease and she has a bad credit and if I cancel everything it will be really bad for her. I have been working on myself and know I am a changed person and I want to be with her for the rest of my life but I can't take it with everything going on with her and the guy. I just need advice and if there's more information or question anyone has please ask me. Thanks