erwinsmith8377198

1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

Are the issues primarily about your communication styles? There are some people who don't feel the need to text for hours or days. You seem very anxious and agitated. He may not be what you're looking for overall in a partner. You think that he's ignoring you or he's "forgetting" but he IS answering you in his own way. Any answer other than the one you're looking for is also an answer. It's just not the one you want. For example, you may ask him to text you back or communicate with you throughout the day but he doesn't see the need for it so instead of arguing with you or fighting about it, he simply doesn't do it or "forgets". He makes plans over your plans perhaps because you both spend too much time together. He is not remembering or wanting to spend time with you as much as you may think he does.

At six months it's way too early to be a nag and chasing someone to be what you want them to be. My guess is that he's paying you lip service and saying yes to your asks without meaning it because he finds that you are making excessive or unrealistic demands (in his eyes). 

I also underlined the last part in made bold because it's an ultimatum. It's kinder to cut each other loose and stop struggling trying to force the situation any longer. Ultimatums aren't healthy in the long run and as soon as a person on the receiving end hears that you are thinking of leaving, it's usually a turn off and it shows that you're now only interested in the outcome as you need it to be and you've stopped trying to listen or regard the other person's thoughts/wants/opinions.

He's not being upfront with you that some of your requests are too much, possibly because he's intimidated, annoyed or just doesn't want to deal with it. Most people avoid break ups because they don't want to be alone so they agree to anything the other person wants. This doesn't always go to plan. My advice is think about the situation as it is and don't force it anymore. Make a decision based on who he is and who you are as people. 

 

We have gone through that we both know that our communications styles are different. When he's at work or I am at work we barley text throughout the day which is completely fine. Its more when he's out I prefer a update every 2-3 hours or so or when he gets the time too. I can see how I can be anxious, I am a person full of worry when it comes to friends, family and relationships. Am I maybe being to harsh on the communication? We hang maybe 1-2 times a week, his friends 3-4. We both work same hours at our new jobs 7:30-5:30. I usually suggest that we hang after work, Thursdays and Sundays are the typically the day he says yes to hanging out but the rest is he has plans with his other friends. I don't want to seem like a bother but we used to hang a lot and its becoming more friend time. To me it's an ultimatum for myself. I didn't tell him I was going to end anything or if he messed up again its over. I was trying to tell myself that if it does happen again I should listen to my word since I do have a hard time doing things I promise to myself. I maybe think I am in denial about the situation and I keep thinking he is going to get better. 

I F(18) have been dating my current boyfriend M(19) for about 6 months. We met at our old jobs and instantly clicked. I finally felt like I have met my other half. We both have had a toxic relationship before each other. We both ended up getting cheated on. Some things from the past are ending up in our relationship. We both think we met each other for a reason. That we both are finally in a healthy loving relationship. He truly makes me feel loved and I do love him with my whole heart but there has been some problems. I have the same problems with him and small things I ask for. It constantly feels like I'm repeating myself asking for the same thing.

His communication isn't the best and will not text me for hours at a time. He is very bad with plans, I tell him the date and time, he forgets and sometimes makes new plans. He is very bad with opening up and letting for a deeper connection happen. I have showed him that I am his support system and that I am here for him but it feels has he doesn't care. He finally found himself in a happy relationship where I mostly could care less about things he does and am not breathing down his neck. After my toxic relationship I sought therapy and got help and have learned from the past, while my boyfriend has not. I can still tell he brings problems from his past into our current relationship. I am tried of asking for the small things to be done. It is always me asking, him saying "ok I will be better for us I promise" does better for a week or 2 then goes back to his old ways.

I have gotten to the point where I told myself the next time this happens I am done. I have anxious attachment style so it makes it very hard for me to end things. I cannot tell if our relationship is healthy or toxic. I can't tell If I can be happy with him and work on these things or breaking up. I feel very happy with him and am in love with him but there are things I need to feel loved constantly. I don't know what to do anymore, I am tired of having these talks with him, I do feel like he can change but sometimes I feel like he just won't. Please leave some advice and I am willing to answer questions. Thank you!