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Maxima

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  1. I should have added "on paper" 🀣 I 100% don't believe everything someone tells me, hence I am being this cautious.
  2. Yeah, I've been trying to use these apps and websites on and off for years, in different countries and it's been an absolute sh*tshow. I really guess it boils down to sheer luck, in regards to finding someone who really suits someone well. The guy in question fits everything I was looking for (educational background, family, dating history, aspirations, children, opinions, interests, etc.) and the discussion is really only about his only slight, which isn't even one. It's just that what we're looking for (casual vs. serious) seems to be different πŸ€”
  3. Yeah, with the way things are looking, I might end things when I see him again. It's not that I am uncomfortable, it's just me thinking of how I'm presenting myself to him- saying one thing and doing another. Hormones and being bored definitely don't help matters 🀣 But you are spot on and I heed your advice for future encounters. OLD is such a touch battlefield.
  4. Hello Wiseman! I see your input everywhere and one of your previous comments actually helped me get over being ghosted last year! So thanks for that first πŸ™‚ A month is definitely not long enough to be in a committed relationship. I couldn't find a better term. I think maybe "exclusivity" and general "being on the same page" would apply better here. I will definitely wait and continue to do so and I have informed him of this and my going slow on the first date we had.
  5. Yeah, he said that to me when we started talking. I've not asked him properly again since. I am definitely happy to let him know again now but I think it's better to have the discussion in person, rather than via text. I think I'll be able to gauge his reactions better then too. Thank you for your input!
  6. Thank you for your well wishes, Batya! I am definitely not trying to play into the "cool chick" role. I just want to take my time with any future online dates and do not want to be full on intense, as that was what happened to me previously, when I thought I had met my "soulmate". He even had my best friends fooled who met him in person. It wasn't until much later that I found out the terms for what he did: lovebombing and futurefaking. I am just trying to enjoy the experience without rushing into anything, which may come across as me being the "cool chick". I am definitely NOT okay with how things are, if they progress as they do for another month and will address it when I see him next week. Thank you for sharing your experience with me and I will be careful and may call it off.
  7. I just saw your edit. This will also be part of the discussion I will have with him when I see him again because I am STI paranoid and not here to catch them all!
  8. I love that metaphor 🀣 Thank you and I also wish you the best of luck (if you're searching atm) ☺️
  9. Thank you for your input! Yeah, if that were to happen, my confidence and ego would hit rock bottom. I am just trying to be more open and give people a chance, as I have been very closed off. Even if it's simply to gain dating experience. I will see how things go after this week and make my decision then. Thanks to COVID, I have nothing better to do. And I have a multitude of sex toys I've been using for years, so I'm pretty much covered in that department. I guess I am just seeking human warmth, connection, intimacy and the after sex/orgasm cuddles and aftercare.
  10. That's true and I agree with you there again. I'm just finding it really hard to manoeuvre online dating. I got burned really bad last year by someone who made me feel comfortable and respected my pace and then blindsided me by ghosting me the following day after we spent time together. So I'm always second guessing people's intentions, you could say. I guess it also doesn't help that the experience I have from dating is usually with people I knew quite well as we were friends or in my social circle.
  11. I 100% agree with you there. I meant it more like if I were to present it to him as "if you don't continue with me and give me a relationship, I will not give you sex" like it's a weird exchange of services almost. That's what I meant by the previous statement, as I don't want that to happen.
  12. This may sound really dumb, but I honestly don't know how to "form" a relationship with someone from OLD platforms. I wanted to see if he was interested in becoming exclusive, lay things out clearly, after I meet him again next week, and if he isn't, I was planning on ending things then. I also don't want it to come across like I am holding sex over his head. I am also the other party that wants sex. Just not interested in doing it as a fling or ONS. Thanks for your advice!
  13. Yeah, it did set off my alarm bells initially but I didn't mind it once we had actually met in person to establish that we were physically attracted to each other. Just don't know if this is "common" (when looking for something serious) per se, and what you've said seems reinforce this. Again, this is very true. Thanks for your input.
  14. Hey Forum and sorry about the long post! To set the scene, I am late 20s(F) dating a late 20s(M) guy I met via OLD. It's been around a month now but we've been talking for longer. By circumstances (school, work, moving countries, etc.) I'm a virgin and mostly inexperienced in the dating world, especially if the person is a complete stranger. I have done some sexual things in the past with other people but there were always with friends or people I knew from my social circles. Just haven't been able to trust anyone enough to go all the way. I am now looking for a serious relationship but want to take things slow (I rushed before and it was a bloody disaster). However, by my own admission, I am thirsty as hell and do not want to wait forever. I just don't want it to happen outside of some form of a committed relationship, in case I form emotional attachments, which I am 1000% sure will happen. I know myself that well. So, the guy I've been going on dates with has been somewhat patient with me, always checking before he touched me certain ways, etc. I made him wait three weeks before we actually met in person, I shut down a sexting attempt before we actually met IRL. So far, we've met up twice and touched and made out on both dates, so I know the sexual attraction is there. Now we've recently started sexting and I don't know if I am encouraging him seeing me as a "piece of meat" rather than a serious potential partner. He has stated that he'd be open to a relationship but wasn't explicitly looking for this, while I told him I was looking for a serious relationship down the line but didn't want to rush and wanted to enjoy the dating experience itself. So, what are your thoughts and opinions? I am aware that the best way to get my answers will be when I see him again soon but I would still like some opinions from people who do not know either of us. Thank you!
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