First of all its a long story and English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes and please help me I am really confused and any advice would be appreciated.
We were in a 2 year relationship and everything was going well before the covid lockdown. We used to fight and get into arguments but we never went to sleep without sorting it out. But we loved each other so much. We both had some bad habits like I was short-tempered and sometimes said hurtful things to her and she never shared her feelings or the things which were bothering her with me much, I had to ask her several times to know what has happened. Fast forward we had a fight in January 2021 because we were feeling some sort of distance between us, which turned into a fight lasted for about a week. We sort it out and after that fight we started having many little arguments in a month, like 2-3 arguments/ small fights in a month because she used to watch Netflix all day and never had time to talk (we talked for about 1 hour in a day roughly).
Now on 19 May 2021 we had a small fight and she told me that my words hurt her sometimes and that she feels like I don't value her. I told her that if she wants then she can take a break to which she said NO, then the next day (20 May) she said that she wants to breakup. I tried to convince her and after 3 days (23 May) I finally somehow managed to convince her and then we talked for a week like normal friends and then after a week on May 30 she finally broke-up, she told me that she has lost feelings for me since April end.
She wants us to remain friends as she says that I was one of her best friends and she don't want to be in a relationship with me. But I can't remain her friend as I still have strong feelings for her. I want her to give our relationship another chance and I know that if we both put efforts together then we can make this work but she is not willing to do so.
Reasons I think she broke-up: First two are the main reason the others are just what I think might be the reasons.
I am short tempered and sometimes I say things which hurt her but I don't do it on purpose or intentionally.
There was a communication gap between us and mainly it was because of her habit of not sharing anything with anyone.
I was getting a little bit jealous and insecure after our fight in January.
Due to covid lockdown we were not able to spend time together, our only way of communication was texting. I think this can be a reason she lost interest in the relationship as it might be getting boring for her.
I have fixed my attitude and my anger but how can I show her that I really have changed?
Few points that are bugging me,
First she was not ready to breakup, but then the next day she told me that she wants to breakup.
When we talked about it she was furious with me and was telling me my mistakes but the next day when she broke-up, she took all the blame on herself that it's her who is at fault not me.
While breaking up she told me that she lost feelings in April but after some days when I tried to talk to her she said that she didn't loved me and that she had lost feelings since January.
I feel like she is hiding the real reasons and just trying to make up reasons to breakup. She has changed drastically in the last few days.
I really love her and want us to be together and I know that if we both put a little more efforts then we can make this work. But I am confused whether I should talk to her after a few days [approx a month after our breakup](I will be meeting her with her sisters and friends) or after some months of no-contact.
I am thinking that I should talk to her and first know the real reason of the breakup and what was bothering her for the last 5 months in which she lost feelings, maybe after that we can somehow make some changes and be back together.
I just have a few questions:
What should I do?? Should I move on or hope that by talking to her about all this we can get back together?? Or should I go no-contact for some months and then try again?
Or should I give her some space and time to figure things on her own and until then I go no-contact??
Once the feelings are gone then can we do something about it... Like if feelings once lost can they come back too??