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Everything posted by BrownHairedGirl77

  1. He sort of did. When we first became a couple he stayed with his parents (they live in the same city as myself) for four months (he’s been working from home since the beginning of the pandemic) and now that he went back to where he usually lives, he’s the one driving almost every week to see me, as I had some overdue bills (after losing my job a few months back) I had to take care of and had to be extra cautious with money. It’s a long story but there is a VERY slim chance he’d be able to move out of the city he lives in right now, for as long as he’s working at his current job (he’s working from home at the moment but they’re back to the office soon).
  2. EDIT: I’ve not mentioned anything about possibly moving in together to him yet but he sent me a few job offers (I am looking for a new one as my current workplace can’t provide me with enough hours) for places that would require me to move to the city he lives in. Not sure what to think.
  3. Hello! My boyfriend (28yo) and I (27yo) met online in March last year, met in person in December 2020 and are officially together since the beginning of January this year, so about 6 months. I’ve been planning to move out of the house I live in at the moment for ages (I share it with my brother) but COVID-19 and me (and my brother) being made redundant halfway through it and not being able to get a job for a few months (both of us) drained my savings and messed up my plans. I’m sort of back on track now (financially), so hoping to be able to move out in about 3 months. My boyfriend has just been told that him and his flatmate have to move out from their current house in a couple of months time. We live about 2.5h drive from each other, which is a bit of a pain in general, as you can imagine but on top of that our work schedules are completely different (he’s Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and I work in hospitality so almost always work weekends). I have been thinking about moving closer to him as he stays in a lovely wee city, with plenty of fields, lakes and forests that my dog would love but now that he has to move out of his current place, I am thinking if I should suggest moving in together? We’d only be together for about 8-9 months at that time and I am not sure if me even mentioning it won’t sort of scare him. Is it too soon? thank you in advance. x
  4. It’s going to be quite long, but I want to make sure I don’t explain it well. Thank you in advance. 🙂 My now boyfriend (28yo) and I (27yo) met on Bumble just as the first lockdown started last year. We chatted all day every day for a few months, then, when he asked to meet I panicked and I we stopped talking for 3-4 months. Eventually he messaged me again and this time, after about six weeks of chatting on WhatsApp etc. we finally met in person and ended up becoming an actual couple a while later. That was about 5 months ago. Everything is going great, maybe we’re still in the honeymoon stage but so far it’s perfect - I met his family and friends, he met mine. He is incredibly supportive and treats me like every girl want to be treated. Now to the point... he’s very well educated, has a well paid job and overall is pretty ‘sorted in life’. I really am very happy for him as a few years ago he was in pretty big trouble financially and mentally, so I’m incredibly proud that he has managed to overcome that. Myself on the other hand, I still don’t have my degree, after failing first year of uni (without going into too much detail, I’ve lost a couple of friends, including one whom I was incredibly close with, within three months from each other, which resulted in depression, leading to messing up uni). Throughout the first lockdown I wasn’t working (I work in hospitality) and was only on furlough but had to help some of my family members and pay for a pretty pricey surgery for my dog, so didn’t manage to save almost anything. Didn’t get in debt or anything but had to be beyond cautious with money. Went back working part time for a little bit (due to lack of hours, not by choice) and then all of a sudden, without any notice, myself and the entire team were told we’re losing our jobs. That was mid Feb, since then I found a job and got my first pay check just a few days ago (all bars and restaurants were closed till end of April and my previous company stopped paying us furlough immediately after telling us we are being made redundant. My brother lost his job three days after me, so the last 4 months or so we’re pretty hard for us (we live together) and we fell behind with bills etc. We both have jobs now and are going to slowly get rid of the overdue bills but it might take us 2-3 more months, where we’ll have to be careful with money. My boyfriend has never made me feel like I’m less intelligent than him (due to lack of a degree in my age) or he’s better than me because he’s got money yet I can’t help but feel this way. I feel like I’m dragging him down or at least stopping him from progressing - every now and then he brings up that we should go somewhere on holiday this summer, or we could go out to eat and I have to dodge the subject and it’s starting to get awkward. He’s also telling me about his job and jobs of his siblings and parents (doctors and vets) and yet in my family I’ll (hopefully) be the first one to have a degree and a decent career. I also feel like he might start to think that I’m materialistic or like his ex girlfriend solely focused on his money (she left him in a pretty bad debt) - I insist on everything being 50/50 until I get out of debt and will be able to treat him to a fancy dinner or something every now and then myself), because I talk about money all the time since I started my debt. He also mentioned buying a house in a few years time and I won’t start my dream career till at least three years from now, then will be able to start saving proper money. I feel like I’m stopping him from progressing in life. I’m miserable all the time as I’m not used to getting letters and phone calls from various companies all the time re overdue bills or owe money to any of my friends/family, which also spiked my anxiety quite badly. I’m embarrassed to admit all that to him - I sort of casually mentioned parts of it but never actually sat him down and told him straight. What should I do? I feel like it’s not fair on him not to being able to progress now that he has beaten his mental and financial struggles. thank you in advance. 🙂
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