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Soulsick

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  1. Thank you all for trying to help. I have no resolution. I don’t know when I will. But, I do appreciate that everyone tried to help.
  2. Thank you Wise. This is probably the most accurate summation and you are correct in you say about him. Complete turmoil is an absolutely perfect description.
  3. I keep telling him that exact thing. And he responds that he loves me and is torn between his own fears and hurting me at the same time.
  4. We continue to talk but he is at an emotional crossroads. He is torn between walking away from all we have built together as a family and putting in the work to make it better. My life is in limbo. I am fighting for what we once had because I believe we can find our way back to that. He is in torment as much as I.
  5. Good question. When we make an assumption we give advice based on that assumption. If our assumption is wrong then the chances are the advice will not fit the actual situation but the assumed one instead.
  6. Thank you Lambert. For both your kind words of support and sympathy. Thank you also for the concise and kindly stated advice.
  7. I did not have a plan because I went into this relationship with the belief that we were building a life together. Planning an escape route never entered my mind. Naive perhaps but that is my honest answer.
  8. I return and read comments when I can. Right now it is hard to read some of the things people assume about what/why/how I got to this place in my life. Right now breathing requires incredible effort. Typing even more so. Eating is not possible. While I recognize that my daughter is a large part of the issue and that there have been some very valid and helpful suggestions, she is not the only issue at hand. My partner and I continue to talk. He states that he is still in love with me. Still considers me to be his best friend, believed in what we have built together and wanted that too… up until he found himself not happy anymore. Recently. He cannot explain what is making him unhappy. He says it’s nothing I have done. He doesn’t understand why he isn’t happy. He fears that if we move past this it will just happen again a few years down the road. thank you for the link. I will look at it when I am in a better frame of mind.
  9. Jibralta - while there is some in your post that I will accede to, there is much I do not. You have no clue as to what my daughter can or cannot do. You assume she has not learned the skills she needs without asking me about her skill levels. She has the mind of a small child and yet I have managed to teach her life skills such as doing laundry, washing dishes, helping prepare dinner. There are some things, according to the professionals, that she will likely never master. She needs continuous supervision to keep her from harm because she has no concept of danger, especially from others. I am fully cognizant of the fact that we are codependent. What mother is not codependent of her children? The difference is that with typically developing children that codependency changes over time and becomes less demanding and more give and take. My being her caregiver and mother is only a piece of the relationship woes I am dealing with. As to my former marriage I will not comment on that here other than to say it had very little if anything to do with our daughter. ‘While I appreciate your belief in your statements, you should be careful with making assumptions about what I have or haven’t done to deal with my own issues in all of this.
  10. I am not employed. Her care is 24/7. When I was up north I worked part time.
  11. Thank you SooSad. I am reading all the posts and taking from each what I find helpful. I appreciate your responses
  12. Thank you Seraphim. I am beginning the process for a day program type setting to see if that helps.
  13. LaHermes - thank you for your multiple posts of advice and suggestions. I will go back through them and take notes on some of your suggestions. Four times a year I fly her to her fathers state and she stays for two weeks +/- then he flies her back to my state. She cannot travel unattended. Her father is taking her next week for 10 days. When I found out yesterday that he will complete his work contract before the end of June, I asked that he extend her time so that I could take a mental health break and work on my relationship with my partner. He declined.
  14. Hmmm another judgemental response. Well Wiseman you are quite simply wrong. She doesn’t hate him. She fights against his involvement in her daily life. She does not like that I am with him and not her father. And I never said that my partner was involved in the way you are implying. Her father, her doctors etc are involved. I did not inflict anything on her, she was involved in the decision and had input into the kind of house we bought. She is not neurosensitive as you again implied. She has very minor SID (sensory integration dysfunction). Her issues are too many and complicated to try to explain to someone that doesn’t walk in my shoes.
  15. Thank you Betterwithout… I have as you will see when you read my response to Batya. I did contemplate that. It was brief and is in the past, but yes I did. Then I called my doctor who referred me to a therapist.
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