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Rae

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  1. My significant other and I have been going through a rough patch. I am at the point where I feel as though I am nothing to him but someone to gain from Financially, sexually, and mentally. I feel so destroyed and just useless to him as though I am not good enough. This man never makes a mistake and everything literally is my fault. I am so angry and mad. He made a tinder account, stole money from me, cheated on me, does not pull his weight regarding household chores, and two months ago told me he was not in Love with me because I was selfish because I slept during the day (I work 8pm to 4am of 8pm to 8am). I have insomnia and have always had trouble sleeping. I have taken so much havoc from this man and we have a child together. I work on offshift job and I am not home at night to see my son or to take care of him so his father does. He is 3years old. If I try to leave my spouse he will take him away from me and I will be alone. I feel so much resentment to this man because of how much *** I went through and he is allowed to say I no longer love you and then said I love you again after I was trying to make it work. But now he is demanding a meal cooked every night dishes washed for my anxiety to magically go away and now he quote on quote he no longer wants to say I love you pointlessly. My love language is affirmation. His is acts of service and quality time. Both of our needs are not being met and I just feel so defeated angry. Like I feel I am chopped liver to him because he never gives me a compliment anymore. Treats me like he loves me. Just demands that I fix the issues I have and I want to make it work but I am so angry and I am so tired of being unhappy. I used to smile and love who I was. I look in the mirror now and just see a shell of a person that once had so much to offer. I feel so empty and numb. I don't know if it is my relationship, the new medication I started last month for my anxiety or what. I am so tired of not smiling or when I see my spouse just get stressed that I am not doing something right. Did I make him happy today? Is he going to leave me. I don't even care anymore it feels like a relief more than anything if he would just leave first. I already know he is going to leave so I just wish he would get it over with. He wants me to change and he doesn't see the changes I have made since the first time we dated. He put up with me then and it was 10x times worse. I feel so lost today and just upset. I want to make things work. I needed to talk. I know he has been stressed because of feeling like a single parent and I see that. My feelings and heart just feels like it no longer matters. He already told me that somedays if not all I love him more than he loves me. I don't know if I can take a relationship where this is a factor. I can take a lot but this has been so much lately .
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