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Beth75

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Posts posted by Beth75

  1. 11 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    So he's no longer unsanitary? He's nice and clean and good smelling? His home is now clean? He washes his hands after pooping now? 

    No I’m just confused as I want to be with him in one sense but not with all his faults 

  2. 5 minutes ago, HeartGoesOn said:

    What caused you to change your mind?  Are you afraid of being alone?

    Not at all just wanted  to work things out with him really, but I’m realising it’s not going to happen 

  3. 10 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    Can you explain what it is about this man that is so very compelling and attractive? Other than he stares at you.

    We do have good times when we are together, and as mad as it seems I enjoy him staring at me calling me beautiful makes me feel special but then he does things like this. 

  4. Well I didn’t go through with it we remained together, but we had another row last week and we haven’t really spoken since, I’m rather confused as we had the row on Thursday, on Sunday he sent me a WhatsApp picture message of his diy in his garden I replied but he didn’t read the message  or carry the conversation on, but I can see he’s been on social media, also Sunday evening I was going out for a meal with work colleagues he didn’t mention that ask if had a nice time nothing, he was due to come to mine Monday evening but I messaged him not too he replied any reason I said because you haven’t really bothered with me so best we leave it he didn’t reply, is he playing mind games? 

  5. 2 hours ago, DancingFool said:

    Just more passive aggressive behavior and manipulative games. He is basically getting off on a power trip over you by making you wait....sadly you did play into that. Don't ever do that again with anyone.

    If they don't have the decency to respect your time and show up on time or within reason, then cancel the plans with them and go about your life. If you are hungry, eat. Never ever waste your time waiting around on someone who is being intentionally rude and disrespectful to you.

    This has nothing to do with his dog. Lots of people have spoiled pets, but it doesn't stop them from planning their time around that and respecting others by showing up on time.

    Believe me I wish I hadn’t regret wasting two years with him and feel so stupid for letting him manipulate me

  6. 2 hours ago, melancholy123 said:

    What's so great about this guy that you have wasted so much time on him?  Dont tell me you love him, what's to love?  He's an inconsiderate slob.

    He used to call me beautiful and stare at me for ages made me feel special but now sadly I believe it was all an act. 

  7. Another thing he did which used to wind me up is I would make him something to eat always homemade, but he used to say he couldn’t get to mine till quite late so I would be hanging around hungry waiting for him, his reason was he finished work he had to go on Facebook with a coffee then walk his dog and shower then come mine thing is I don’t like eating to late I told him this but he said there was nothing he could do about it, I must quote the dog is very spoilt does what it wants he even has to stand and watch it eat otherwise it won’t before he comes to mine. Is he still been unreasonable? 

  8. I’ve made a decision to leave him, I can’t put up with his ways any longer, I needed to make sure it was him and not me, I’ve realised thanks to everyone it’s definitely him and I never looked at it as he’s manipulating me that shocked me to think he’s doing that. 

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  9. 2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    How would you feel about eating at a restaurant where the cook peed and took a dump right before they prepared your food and hadn't bothered washing their hands? How about staying at a hotel where the sheets weren't changed? Or going to a park for a picnic and sitting next to a steaming pile of dog crap?

    I know it’s all disgusting when I tried to talk to him about the things bothering me he just used to laugh it off which made me feel I was making a deal out of nothing 

  10. 6 minutes ago, DancingFool said:

    Yeah it is just another blatant demonstration of his toxic lack of character and respect for others around him, including and especially YOU.

    He is nice to you sometimes is not a good enough reason to put up with any of this. Period.

    For the love of, raise your standards because right now, they are in the gutter...along with dog poo.

    I am truly astonished that you've put up with this unsanitary slob for as long as you have and still need others to validate your decision to leave. Please just dump him and block his number. Should have done that the first time you saw his filthy abode. Come on, OP. Respect yourself more than this. There are homeless people who are cleaner than this loser.

    I guess I just wanted clarification it wasn’t me being over dramatic but going by these replies I’m clearly not 

  11. 1 minute ago, LaHermes said:

    Beth. Please don't concentrate on the remark. Look at the big picture.

    And I echo what Wiseman has said. 

    "Why do you care what  his opinion is considering he's a filthy slob?"

    It is your choice, and you are well aware what your choice must be. What drew you to this individual in the first instance?

    His personality he seemed very kind caring which he can with me, he thinks nothing of buying me expensive gifts treating me on birthdays etc 

  12. 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

    Why do you care what  his opinion is considering he's a filthy slob?

    I just want to know what others think as in am I right to be bothered by this remark  

  13. 37 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

    Totally beside the point Beth.  The he says this, he says that is not helpful to you.

    You can do better. I trust you are going to get away from this pathetic individual. 

    He’s leaving me no choice really 

  14. He also said to me once what his preferences are in a woman, he said in a room full of women he would always choose the blonde it made me feel a bit insecure as I’m dark but with blonde highlights is this disrespectful too? 

    • Confused 1
  15. I honestly don’t think he will change he’s leaving me no option to leave him, he leaves the dog mess to the side in long grass, or the dog will poop around a tree but I still don’t think it’s right as children run everywhere, he thinks just because it’s not on a footpath it’s ok to leave it. 

  16. 7 hours ago, Hollyj said:

    People  do walk on the grass.   I hate people people that do not clean up after their animals.  He is lazy, inconsiderate and a slob. Why have you continued to date him?  I would have dumped him after seeing his home.  How often does he wash his bedsheets?

    You know that this is not okay.

    I think because he can be so loving I’m confused but I can’t tolerate his ways anymore, he doesn’t wash them often I think he only changed them because I was staying and I didn’t want to sleep in dog hair.

  17. 7 hours ago, Hollyj said:

    How can you tolerate this.  It's cringeworthy.  How often does he bathe and brush his teeth?

    He showers everyday but he doesn’t brush his teeth before bed.

  18. 1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

    Do you think someone would enjoy stepping or sitting on a pile of dog crap?

    You seem to be looking for someone to tell you his habits are OK so you can continue to date him. If you're fine with his behaviors then what is the problem? Why do you need internet strangers to give you permission to stay with him?

    I was just looking for other people’s opinions 

  19. 11 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    So he prepares food possibly with poop and pee on his hands and he doesn't have the common courtesy to pick up the dog's mess.

    Deal breakers for me.

    Do you think just because it’s on grass he can leave it there? It’s not on a footpath but I still think it’s gross 

  20. 1 minute ago, SooSad33 said:

    Ohh, k.. so you've been tolerating all of this for 2 yrs?

    Well, if he's a dirty person, then maybe get out of it?  I doubt you can see him around in the long run... right?

    Is just how he is.

    It’s just been getting worse and I think bothering me more as time has gone on I can never see us living together 

  21. 4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    Preparing food with hands that possibly have human waste on them? Leaving dog poop and pee on the floor of your home?

    I can't imagine anyone thinking you're "overreacting". And I can't imagine any grown adult needs to be taught about basic hygiene or to clean dog poop off the floor.

    No we take his dog across a green area near his house he thinks people don’t walk there so he doesn’t feel the need to pick his dogs mess up but I have seen people walk there 

  22. 2 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

    Your 'current partner'.. have you known each other long?

    Good example and reminders is a good start.. eg. Re shoes.. show him when he gets in the door, say, shoes off at the door please.

    Re: him coming out of washroom, say, 'clean hands first'.. Maybe he is just negligent and does need 'reminders' on being cleaner than this..

    If you can't take this with him... remove yourself from it all.. because if it's just too much, you will never feel okay with him.

    2 years we have spoke about my concerns but he just brushed them off and doesn’t care

  23. 10 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    He's not going to "change". So you have two choices: accept him as he is and stay in the relationship or end the relationship.

    Just not sure if I’m over reacting or I’m being reasonable thinking his actions are not acceptable 

  24. 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

    Ok, unfortunately he's unlikely to change. Be thankful he doesn't live with you so you won't need a HAZMAT unit to clean up after him. What does his place look like? Is he a hoarder?

    It’s very messy and unclean I would struggle to live like that 

  25. The first time I found out about him  not washing his hands was when we was away in his camper van, obviously it’s very compact and the toilet has no sink so he opened the door and went straight to make food, I looked at him and said are you not washing your hands? He said no what for?!

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