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brennanp

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Everything posted by brennanp

  1. Thank you for all the suggestions. I must state that I am no saint, as I did have an affair 18 years ago when she pushed me awary do to mental health reasons. It took me 6 years to admit to it, but I did and we tried to move one. She has always had intamacy issues do to depression and an eating disorder. However I have lived in a relathionship starved to affection and recognition. She made $50K a year when I met her. Didn't work for 8 years of our marriage, and how makes $25K a year. I shoulder all the financial burdern, cook and grocery shop because she says its to hard due to the eating disorder, clean the house becuase she doesn't like to clean and be the main caregive to our 11 year old son. The only activity she does with him is to take him to a movie. SHe will clean up after dinner and do laundry and that is the extent of what she does aroung the house. Will never offer to help with any yard work. Maybe the writing has been on the wall for years and I have just been too blinde to see it.
  2. I tried to sit down with her tonight and have a converstation about this. I have never raised my voice when disucssing this, just trying to have my veiwpoint herard, and hopefully acknowledged. She cannot hold a conversation about this without being angry. Saying I am accusing her of something she didnt do. I responsed that I did not say you did anything physical with this guy, however there is certianly something emotional. She continues to say just becuase they send heart emojis back and forth doesnt mean the he means anyting to her. I said may be, but I bet they mean something to him. She then says I am willing to throw our 20 year marriage down the drain over emojis and facebook posts and that I need to trust her when she says nothing happed and that he doesn't mean anything to her. Then she said. she is ready to quit because I continue to accuse her or question her actions. She feels it is rediculous that I am referencing posts from Nov. 2020. Storms off to listen to music in bed. Guess the handwriting is on the wall.
  3. So I took someone that posted suggestion and said to her say “look, what you’re doing is really hurting me, whether it’s platonic to you or not. I feel like I’m sharing my wife with another man and I’m not interested in doing that.” Her reaction. Pissed off and not talking to me. Guess that says it all.
  4. So I took someone that posted suggestion and said to her say “look, what you’re doing is really hurting me, whether it’s platonic to you or not. I feel like I’m sharing my wife with another man and I’m not interested in doing that.” Her reaction. Pissed off and not talking to me. Guess that says it all.
  5. Thanks for your response. I have confronted her, she is in denial that this is anthing more than friends. I have started counseling. At first she said whe would go but then said she didn't want to go if the cousenling was going to validate my concerns. Since I confronted her they both have gone radio silent on all social media. She said she told him they can not longer be friends, however they work and interact with each other all day at work.
  6. I had concerns for several months that my wife was becoming more distant in our relationship and intamacy was occurring less and less. About six weeks ago I notice her communicating with a male coworker through text and FB Messenger after work hours at night and on the weekends. When I finally said something to her that this was making be feel uncomfortable, she insisted they were just friends. She became secreative several times and changed her passcode on her phone. When I challenged that she got angry, but evidentally reset the passwork back. My phone is an open book. She has 100% access to it. For Valentines Day I sent her flowers at work and got her candy, cards and a small gift. She did not purchase me a card or anything. I belive when she realized she didn;t have anything for me, she hand wrote a note to me saying what a wonderful husband I was. The day after Valentines day, she had to have minor surgery. I took 2 days off of work to care for her. She came home from the surgery and went to sleep. I found out that when she woke about 6 hours later, the first thing she did was to message this male co-worker that she was ok. He responded OMG, I was up all night worrying about you. I will do anthing for you, day or night. He then texted something in spanish. She didn't know what it meant so she asked him. He replied that it meant "You Have My Whole Heart" THis really raised my concerns and I looked at her facebook posts for the past 9 months and see all this posts where they sent heart emojies back and forth. Everytime she posts he is most ofter the first to comment. When she posts new profile pictures he responds "Beautiful with a heart emojie" and she Responds Thank you with a Heart emojie. On her birthday he comments "Happy Birthday Darlin" and she responds Thank you with Heart emojie. This has been going on for months. Timeframe conincides with when she became distant. She swears they are just friends and he is a senstive guy and that is why he uses heart emojies in his posts. (Even if true, it doesn't explain why she is using them too." She uses heart emojies with alot of her girlfriends but this is the only guy. Doesnt use them with other guy friends. Thoughts?
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