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Dnxnshshjs

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  1. I’m going to look online for resources, it’s just different and odd to find counseling from what type of family I come from, they will just tell me I need to get closer to God and pray for me, but I do realize I’m really traumatized and messed up in my head that maybe talking to a professional will help. Talking about things I’ve gone through makes most uncomfortable and no one knows what to even say. So I’ve never felt like I had a outlet or a safe place to feel ok
  2. I was in a cult during college not all of my life. But they were super strict and used fear to keep us brainwashed, I got out of it it was a Bible study cult
  3. I did some research on emotional blackmail and I do not believe I am doing that. He told me that if watching porn was something he still wanted to do and he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t stop that he would have told me that I needed to accept it. he says he has no interest in it anymore, and his perspective about it has truly changed. I had a conversation with him and I invited him to openly express his feelings. That if he knew he was only avoiding porn for me that it would mean I was changing him and it’s not healthy and he promises me that he already has and will stop fo
  4. No I haven’t and I’ve been abused by three different men and I’m real traumatized about it but I don’t know the first thing about getting help my family is real old school and we usually rely solely on our a Christian faith and I wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing that up to then
  5. Things were ok for a while I started putting my energy toward God and forgiving that what he did was a sin common to man and that it wasn’t longer than five minutes and I tried to remember that those images he saw are no longer in his mind, when I found out what he did he told me it had already been like 8 months that he made the conscious decision to stop, and he had already been without it by the time I found out. I focused on these positive things and that these three years can be made up for the entire future that is to come, he promised me without a doubt he wouldn’t do it again.
  6. I know which is why I’m trying to figure out what to do now because I can’t keep dragging this out any longer
  7. Thank you. how can I determine if this can ever be forgiven? I know my wounds are still fresh, there was a point where I was finally making progress and things were getting better but due to issues i think things got worse again. how do I know in my heart which one ? How do I accept either his lies and values aren’t the same and I need to move on or if this is worth moving forward with? he has never disrespected me any other way, never been abusive or showed any signs of him being a bad person other than that. I’m afraid losing him I won’t be able to find someone else
  8. Lying is a very significant factor to me. if the situation was different and HE confessed to ME what had happened, and that he was genuinely sorry and showed remorse, I feel I would have an easier time forgiving him. however he chose to keep it from me. But I tried to let the lying not get to me because I can understand he was lying because he knows how sensitive I am to things, and he didn’t want to hurt me or lose me. He was afraid to lose me. He acknowledges now that lying is wrong however you put it and that being honest is always better no matter how bad it is. And that I truly fe
  9. The idea of masturbation really affected me before in the beginning, but I got over it because I accept I can’t tell anyone what to do or not do with their own body. I also acknowledge that I’m not always gonna be there next to him to “satisfy” him and he’s going to want to masturbate if the chance comes, I am only ok with masturbation, not porn or the idea of someone jacking of or getting sexual pleasure from people outside of our relationship. I have never found other men attractive or been turned on by anyone but him so I have a hard time forgiving. because porn degrades women and I ju
  10. When I say hurt, I mean I replay it over and over in my mind in disbelief and I try to see him as the same person and I can’t. I feel betrayed and as soon as those thoughts come up I flood him with questions about it over and over and he says I’m driving him crazy. Just the thought of it stabs my heart every single time he tells me he knows without a doubt he will never do it again, and that he is capable of changing not just because of me but because at the same time this betrayal made him see how much pain he has caused and he says he will never hurt me like this again. He told me to
  11. If I accept him for all of those things are you saying I have to allow porn in our relationship or accept it as the past and work with him about it? He has his desire to change and being with me for this many years a lot of things have influences him in a good way. I know he wants to become a better person, he says one of the things he loves the most about me is my values and the way I carry myself, and he deeply has apologized and said they were selfish mistakes. where you said “demand”, I’m not necessarily demanding it but it was his will and part of his apology to show me he doesn
  12. Hello, I’m in desperate need of advice. But before I explain my situation I want to note that everyone is different, and everyone has different views/ values on things. Please be understanding from my view before making comments about me being naive or anything related to that. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now, and I explained to him when we first got together my views of certain things and also how I have been sexually abused most of my life growing up. I have values that are very grounded on my Christian religion and also I have lots of pain and trauma deal
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