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Ramblinrose

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  1. I don’t know Rachel, it might have been said already but from what you are saying you married a man because your religion prohibits a relationship with a woman (and yes you do say you also fell in love). When you decided to have relationships with men was it your decision or were you trying to please people around you like your family? Religion in some ways can condition people to suppress their true feelings and desires, and it sounds like you belong to a religion where that has happened. Any way to leap to a more tolerant religion? I know it’s easier said than done, especially if it means being considered an outcast to your family. It’s concerning that you never liked making out with your husband or orgasmed from him. I consider myself bi and had a husband at one point, only could orgasm if I thought about women. But I loved making out with him in the beginning, and he did turn me on and I was sexually excited by him....eventually our love life fizzled and I became sexually attracted to someone else. I questioned was a really bi or a lesbian in denial? What’s going on? It’s not easy to answer unfortunately. I mean do all marriages fizzle out sexually eventually? Or are there some where people are still sexually attracted to each other 20 years later? I have no idea. So this isn’t the best advice lol. What I do know is that what you suppress grows until it occupies your mind nonstop and then you are almost compelled to act. So you need to look for answers to these questions...what does the ideal marriage look like? What does it look like in 20years? How sexually fulfilling is my relationship? What kind of sexual freedom do I want from my partner and vice versa? Do I after what I am experiencing really agree with my religion or is there a religion more in line with my values? Do I really personally find it wrong to be in a loving relationship with a woman? What would my family think or do I risk estrangement? Is this fair to my husband or does he want more from a relationship (although some people are surprisingly nonsexual)? So those are some questions to start with. Sorry you are going through that.
  2. Wiseman, I don’t mean to offend people. I’ve given my ex a place to stay bc he has bad credit and has had a hard life. We aren’t intimate, but we are good friends who realized a few years ago we should never be in a relationship with each other again. I shouldn’t have said white in a derogatory way. To clarify I’m just used to living in a different part of the country where emotions are expressed openly and people are warmer, not reserved.
  3. I hear you but it’s been 2 years no sex and I’m a Scorpio woman!! I’m admittedly desperate to find someone with whom I share real life sexual chemistry I can’t take it anymore. I live w my ex and have been scared to date for his mental health bc he relied on me but he has a therapist now and is doing great so I’m really ready....for anything. So yeah I prob do give off that impression that I’m a bit desperate bc I am!
  4. Yeah you all are right. I’ve been so hesitant to go with a dating app just hoping that some incredible chemistry would happen in real life. And got excited because this was so coincidentally strange, coming from the same small town. I guess it’s a little scary the idea of being judged on your appearance in a photo and being rejected or the opposite and then finding you have no real life chemistry w someone and having to reject them. but you all are right. Wish out of 100 photos of the guy there could be one of his wife -she posted him on her page. Like a woman who plays mom and takes care of you should get at least some acknowledgment that she exists in your life. But anyway that’s life what can you do? Looks like dating apps make be the way to go, thanks all.
  5. Hello all and thank you for the free advice. I had the strangest encounter with an employee at a job site. I live in a big city, and found out this man I met for the first time was originally from the same small town nowheresville USA as me. And he had the social media to prove it. I thought, he seems cute under his mask but about 15 years older which is fine, I’m 36, he looks athletic....and he wasn’t wearing a ring. so after our revealing encounter which left us both floored to meet each other I gave it about 2 weeks and looked at his Facebook (I don’t have a Facebook myself so my searching is limited) he indeed is a very good looking and fit man. My type. He has 3 kids 2 from different marriages in the pics is always doing something fun with them taking them outdoors. And I’ve always wanted kids of my own or to at least sort of be a cool stepmom...so he’s all around looking really good to me. So i text him through the worksite email and give him my phone number, he agrees that everything in life has a purpose and coming from the same very very tiny town is surreal. He texts me immediately on my cell. I ask if he wants to go out for coffee or ..some kind of drink..being cute. He writes back immediately that some kind of drink would be fun...so I’m thinking not only is he not married he has no serious gf either..score. I tell him it will be a few weeks bc I have to travel for work and the next day he texts me back asking where I’m working that day and am I still around. And told me I inspired him to get out and ride his bike last evening. And I tell him the evening he described to me in text sounded almost perfect but missing a few things...flirtatiously he responds that it was almost perfect and looks like that will have to wait a few weeks. Then I tell him I’m already gone and will contact him when back in town... I have time to kill and really thinking about the connection I could have with this handsome man. I do another google search and a woman w his last name lives in the city...so I click on her Facebook and it’s just pics of her, the kid and HIM!! The last pic was taken months ago...but tbh she looks like a really great caring mom. Older like him, but they have raised a beautiful daughter together..... so now, what should I do? Want to go on a date with this guy but not if he’s cheating on her... I mean WHY WHY do men not wear a wedding band??? they could be separated...they could have an open relationship. or he just wants to meet honestly and I was pushing the flirty thing a little much and he felt it was “manly” to flirt back but would tell me his married status when we meet?? whats up?
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