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Everything posted by confusedguyuk

  1. Nah I used to work but can't really now. Trying to work on making money from home, but I'm pretty much a bum with no options. No she's not seeing anyone as far as I know. She is single, open to dating and not actively looking for anything. Guess I was feeling much more confident than usual when I came to this site (despite not being confident enough to actually pursue anything)... but if there is any kind of competition then I'm not really an option so I figure I should just leave her to find someone decent and not make things awkward.
  2. I didn't really like the 'red pill' vibe about that response, but I get it and agree with it in essence. We exist to make children and if a bloke doesn't have potential to provide for them he isn't going to be desirable.. even if all that is just subconscious. Connection is important for anyone, I guess... but it's irrelevant if the person has no prospects. Unfortunately, I have no prospects.
  3. Figured I'd add an update whilst I am here. Moved back to my old area.. actually got a lift across the country from my friend. She was really excited about me being here, but since she got back has been a lot more distant. Aside from this and my previous apprehension, she is well out of my league and would no doubt benefit much more from a relationship with someone stable and emotionally mature, so I'm not going to bother trying to pursue anything.
  4. Thanks for the advice everyone. Feeling much more relaxed about the idea after reading all this. I think I'll listen to Andrina and wait until we are able to meet in person.. and then if things feel right I'll just say we should go on a date or something. We would be in different cities, but within a 20-30 minute drive of each other. I'm moving back to the area I grew up in, mainly because I don't know many people where I'm living now and I've recently gotten back in touch with some of my family... so I'm building that support network you mentioned. Using my partner as a crutch has been an issue in the past, though I didn't recognise it at the time. *Hopefully* I've made enough changes that it won't be an issue.
  5. First, a little about me.. I'm a guy in my late 20s and recently got diagnosed with (severe) asperger's syndrome. I haven't really learned to handle it properly yet and for those that don't know, in this context, it pretty much means that I'm terrible at expressing my emotions, interpreting the emotions of others and picking up on signals. I'm not sure how relevant that is, but I tend not to 'make a move' unless a girl has made it explicitly clear that she is interested in me, otherwise I simply do not know... and I'm sure you all know that girls spelling out their feelings plainly towards a guy they like is not entirely common. The reason I'm posting here is that I've been talking to a female friend regularly for quite a while and I've developed stronger feelings for her. It isn't love at this stage, but I could see it turning into that quite easily. I don't want to ruin my relationship with her as a friend and I'd gladly remain in the friend zone and let the feelings that I have now subside, if the alternative is to scare her off and lose her as a friend. I've known her since I was a child but we'd had very little contact for a long time and, since around a year ago, we have been speaking most days. Sometimes she seems really into me, though other times I feel like I'm far from a priority for her. What makes it more difficult to interpret is that we live on opposite sides of the country (although I will be moving nearer to her for unrelated reasons in the next few months), so we only really talk on the phone or through text. If it's a phone call then generally she is the one who calls me (she has a much busier life than I do so I tend to let her take the initiative when she's got time) and if our texts die down then she will send me a silly message or a funny video or something without motive or purpose to get my attention again, usually within a day.. although this could just be her innocently relying on a friend to alleviate her boredom. On rare occasions we video chat and it feels like there's a lot of chemistry.. lots of giggling and not-so-awkward silences as we just smile and look at each other... but being so physically removed it could just be my imagination. I know it's never black and white (despite what my neurological condition would lead me to believe), so if there's no clear cut 'yes she is into you' or 'you're already well in the friend zone', or some other obvious thing which hasn't occurred to me, then I guess I'd just like some advice on communicating my feelings without damaging our friendship. I guess anyone giving a solid opinion on how she feels might need more detail on how we interact, but I'm going to stop this essay here and if anyone wants more specifics then I'll add them in a reply. Thanks!
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