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bonnie20

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About bonnie20

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  1. Thank you for this helpful advice, I have never thought about it from this perspective. I have always hidden his alcoholism and periods where he has treated me bad and upset me. My dad was an addictions nurse all of his life, and my parents have a healthy marriage so I didn’t want them to judge my bf or think that he wasn’t good enough for me. As I mentioned he has always got on well with my family and never relapsed in front of them. The act of me hiding it tells me a lot - his behaviours are wrong and I don’t want other people to know. It’s a burden that I’m being asked to cope with myse
  2. Thank you, this is helpful. I told him yesterday that I can’t do this anymore and we need to end things. He said I’m being dramatic and controlling, telling him how to live his life. I can’t expect understanding from an addict, I need to accept that whatever the outcome he will likely always blame me for the relationship ending, despite everything his behaviour has put me through. I need to continue to seek help, but this post has helped me to realise that I do deserve better and I’m not insane.
  3. Thank you, this is helpful. I told him yesterday that I can’t do this anymore and we need to end things. He said I’m being dramatic and controlling, telling him how to live his life. I can’t expect understanding from an addict, I need to accept that whatever the outcome he will likely always blame me for the relationship ending, despite everything his behaviour has put me through. I need to continue to seek help, but this post has helped me to realise that I do deserve better and I’m not insane.
  4. This really resonates with me. I often get myself into complex relationships and treated badly as my self esteem is low and I would rather be with anyone than be alone. An intense fear of abandonment. We all carry trauma and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have been doing work to help me through it, re-parenting myself, learning to be alone. You may enjoy some of the resources on YouTube and Instagram from Dr Nicole LePerra (the.holistic.psychologist), Dr Kristin Neff (self compassion resources). I hope that things get better, we are in this together. You matter and you can shape your life
  5. We got together through tinder at a point where we were both struggling. I had broken up from a 6yr relationship and was finding it difficult adjusting to being alone. He has struggled with alcoholism since teenage years due to a difficult childhood and his dad dying. I want the best for us, what we’re doing just now isn’t working but when I try to speak to him about it he says that all I do is moan and bring him down. He tells me that his life changed when we met. I love him, try to always treat him well and motivate us both to both feel good in life. Our relationship isn’t always difficu
  6. I (26/F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 4 years, ongoing problems with addiction, trust & expectations. Am I being unreasonable and asking too much of my partner? We got together through tinder at a point where we were both struggling. I had broken up from a 6yr relationship and was finding it difficult adjusting to being alone. He has struggled with alcoholism since teenage years due to a difficult childhood and his dad dying. I want the best for us, what we’re doing just now isn’t working but when I try to speak to him about it he says that all I do is moan and bring him down.
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