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imunhappy

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About imunhappy

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  1. Hey, long story short. My parents have always been good to me. Three years ago her met this new woman, and cheated on my mom with her. My parents divorced, my mom found new partner (whom I have met a long time ago) and my father stayed with that woman. Since then my parents profoundly hate each other. I have never met my father's new partner and he is very annoyed with it, saying that I reject his new life, treat him differently, etc. The truth is, I don't really care about my parents relationship anymore, I just want to be on good terms with everyone and live a normal life. I'd meet her
  2. At the time I was able to look realistically at it. "It's just been a week, you can't do that." But now it seems like I cannot get to this point of view again. It's bolded sentence in your post that also gave me thinking. But it was not just about that. When I was abroad for exchange I had my all-time high confidence regarding girls. I was exotic looking in a foregin country, therefore many girls were interested in me. I felt like I need to take "more advantage" of that (since it's not something I'm used to in my home country), which was one of the reasons why I didn't want to commit to her
  3. Thank you! I agree with your point. Perhaps it's society that shapes us this way. When I move I will slowly start working on that. On the other hand I think it's crucial to have more experience, even if they are just one night stands. Personally I like to try different things. I got my first girlfriend at 20 (25 now) and eventually broke up with her, because I felt like I need to experience more. Now I know this was a right thing to do. She was not the type of person that I could spend my whole life with. But overall, I agree. I feel like I need to start looking for some deeper connection w
  4. I'll try with "Why do I do that?" by dr. Burgo, hopefully I get some insight to my behavious and manage to stop beating myself up.
  5. No problem, I can answer. Well, couple of years ago I was very focused on my studies and genuinely liked it. Around three years ago I moved abroad for the first time and since then I have lived in four differen countries, besides mine and visited more than thirty. I slowly realised that I like exploring cultures, meeting people, learning about differences more than what I study (engineering). I lost my interest in engineering a bit and struggled for a bit. Then, after completing an internship I realised I very much prefer research/lab work over industry (which is only viable option, if I d
  6. When I get settled in the new city I will definitely try to get it. In the meanwhile, is there something you can recommed as self-help? Book, movie, exercise?
  7. Thank you! I am still not sure if PhD is what I want, but I feel like I have to give it a chance, otherwise I might regret it.
  8. I know, but sometimes I see other people and they tend to be productive just by themselves, seems like thay didn't struggle at all with getting where they are. Perhaps I'm wrong, but some people have it easier. I have many friends that seem to be perfectly happy with their lives and don't care about a thing. Don't want to sound wrong, but sometimes I wish I could be this ignorant.
  9. Thank you very much. Yeah, you are very much right. Perhaps is about stopping the pain, yet I still realise she's anmazing woman and that saddens me. As I said, if it wasn't for the distance, I'd stick to it for sure. I also tend to be picky with relationships, not (just) looks, but more how compatible I am with another person. I know pleanty of people that date their bf/gf just because they want someone. I can't do that. I am afraid it's gonna take a very long time till I find someone special again. In the meanwhile I'm afraid I'll drown in my own misery.
  10. Thanks you very much! That was my thought at the time as well. I couldn't start LDR after such a short time. But I can't seem to get that thought into my mind again. Now I'm just thinking about it as wrong. Perhaps we'd struggle with relationship, if we agreed to it. There were some flaws that she had as well, but I fail to look at them now. Since I'm moving to a new city very soon I want to make a fresh start. I just need to learn how to get there positive about new experience and not make myself feel down at every obstacle I face (I happen to do this a lot).
  11. Thank you for the reply! 1.) I texted her, not saying she's "the one" tho, because I thought that'd be too much. After all, I am not sure what would happen if we'd date for longer time. I can't promise her eternity. Doing this and then breaking up in the future (maybe, who knows?) would be another huge hit for her to take. I feel like can't do this to her again. I told her I'm sincerely sorry and indicated that I want to get in touch again. My parents were together for more than 30 years and then divorced. Somehow I can't get over how nasty things became between them: hate, lies, cheating
  12. Thank you, I sincerely appreciate it. Perhaps I wasn't very clear at my original post. I am done with internship already, but I'm moving to another country soon to start PhD and I'm hoping for a fresh start. New environment, new place and people, some excitement. First time living fully independent life (at 24, but still earlier than most people in my country). To be specific, Berlin. It's a big city, I shouldn't struggle to find some like-minded people, I hope. Once before moving helped me get back on my feet after being severly down.
  13. Thank you. It's good to read something positive. I have actually attended a couple of sessions. All the time that I had a therapist available. It really did a change and I hope I manage to attend again. I am moving soon, to Germany to be precise, hopefully their mental health services are more availabe than in my country. I am trying to do some productive things, learning a language, reading a book, gym, but nothing feels natural, seems like I have to push myself hard to start with the activity. Can you perhaps recommend some self help books? I'm really not skilled on the topic.
  14. I forgot to mention, right after I saw a therapist and was feeling better for some time, but sadly I don't have an acces anymore, perhaps in a couple of months, since I'm moving soon.
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