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Ownworstenem

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  1. Wiseman 2, I appreciate your advice. I wish there was a way I could speak to you personally.
  2. Lambert, I totally get what you are saying. It scares me like hell, and I do think about the possibility of him moving on. That hurts. I know I have to put my feelings out there. Part of me feels like maybe I should stay away for a while to evaluate how I feel, and let him do the same, and then maybe go back into it saying that if we continue it can't be as FWB, if that's still what I want. I see some people mentioning that I may be reading into things, and I might. However, he has the birthday card I made for him hanging on his fridge. I drew him something for New year's too and he has that saved as well. He surprises me with flowers at my doorstep. Those are the actions that make me fall in love with him. He always seems so eager to be there when I need him. Why the hell am I so scared?
  3. From my recollection, he is NOT seeing others. We always agreed that we would let the other person know if we were out of respect.
  4. I agree that my self esteem isn't the healthiest. I think the idea of facing the consequences and telling him what I am feeling is excellent advice... Hopefully I can summon the courage, but what do I say. However, I am not the one always suggesting we get together, and there are many nights I don't stay over. In the beginning, I slept over regularly, but then I backed off when I started to develop feelings. He would invite me to stay, but I would reply that I would rather go home. That night was the first time in a while that he even suggested it again, as he eventually stopped asking because he probably assumed I would say no. And as far as clingy? When we're together, we both are very in the moment. However, I also keep myself occupied doing other things as well, not to mention, I don't always make myself available when he asks for my company. Also, I've made known to him that I do talk to other men seeing how we aren't in a committed relationship. In some ways, I wonder if I don't have him wondering if he'd be rejected by me. I don't want him to think he owns me when we haven't fully committed, and in some ways I'm afraid to be vulnerable and take away the power. I have walls in place so I don't get hurt. I guess I'm just wondering if it's time to start tearing down those walls if I want a real relationship with him. A huge part of me thinks he really does care about me and may be receptive, but if he's not then I just threw all my cards out on the table, and that's something I can't take back... Then everything we have may crumble. Worst part about that is he is one of my absolute best friends, and I know he would say the same. That is something I don't want to lose... I'm not just falling in love with some random guy. This is a person that I share my most intimate thoughts with. I love him on more than one level.
  5. The message may be lost in translation. I felt as if by him not wanting to have sex that he was trying to say he doesn't just want me for sex. It's difficult to convey all of our conversations over this forum. There is so much content to cover. What I can tell you though is that day he neglected his obligations in order to spend the day with me. We drove around on his motorcycle for hours, stopped at at nature trail and walked around talking and enjoying nature, joined some of my family for a picnic there, then went back to his house where he ordered us dinner, and then we sat, talked and listened to music. He said he didn't want to end the evening with sex, but rather just be in my company. I felt like he was going out of his way to show me that he saw me more than just a sexual object. I think in his mind he feels like I may think I owe him sex every time we're together, and he was letting me know that he appreciates our time together without it. As I was leaving the next morning, he said... If today is a nice day we should take another ride. So, with remarks like that, I don't feel like I'm over staying my welcome. Honestly, I feel nothing but welcomed in his presence. I just have a lot of self doubt from being hurt in a past relationship
  6. Yes, I am. I am afraid I will ruin what we have.
  7. He actually treats me quite well. He's very considerate, gives me surprises, holds my hand when we walk together... We have a very intimate relationship outside of the bedroom. We tell each other everything, and half the time when we're out together, we finish each other's sentences. I catch him quite frequently just staring at me at the most random times, and whenever we are together, we always have a good time laughing and joking I'm each other's company. At this point, I would say more of our relationship is outside of the bedroom, but the sex is amazing when we are intimate in that way. I almost feel like we both fell into something we didn't plan.
  8. I've been seeing this guy for about 9 months now. We started off by hooking up, terming it FWB. Since then, it's been interesting. We hang out often. The sex is great, but it's not just sex. We go out, have dinner at his house, play games, watch TV. We talk about anything and everything. Most nights I go over I sleep there. We exchanged gifts for Christmas, and once when I was really drunk I texted him that I love him, to which he replied I love you too. I don't know if he was just being polite. Thing is, the last weekend I was there, we had sex the first night, but then the second night he said he didn't want to have sex with me. He said... tonight we don't have sex at all. You can go lie down in my bed and sleep over, but no sex. Maybe tomorrow, but I want tonight to be you just staying over. Am I wrong to assume that we are past FWB at this point? I obviously have feelings if I'm saying I love you when I'm drunk, but does he feel the same way?
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