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lolo747

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  1. I can guarantee that his plan is not having me home to control me because he made it clear he does not want to support me financially. He wants me to have a job for me to be able to provide for myself which is good. I think it all comes down to selfishness. He wanted to sleep in so instead of me getting up at 6 and making noise (a bit of noise), he wanted me to stay in bed longer to not wake him up and do my own things later. It is all about him and his own confort. I definitely think he is cheap. I definitely do not need a man that pays me fancy stuff but being cheap on the food and counting how many piece of cheese or bread i ate, to me is a dealbreaker. It is always good to have other people's opinions as maybe I could overreact or have indeed to many expectactions.
  2. Well I do not know but that is how people perceive him. I mean he is not a bad person overall but as long as he has his own little confort he does not really care about the other which is something he will have to work on in his relationship.
  3. I do not think he is a misanthrope though; people will describe him like soft mannered. He is a very calm and overall has been nicely educated.
  4. Here some news. When I mentioned to him I will move back to Europe, he did not take it very well; he said he thought by doing this move we were committed to each other. He was off for four days during the week and was telling me I should stay home because he wanted to sleep in. We had to move to the official new place where there is no internet for a short while. I was up every morning at 6 to take my bus at 7.25 and go downtown to work on my resume, use internet connection and applied for jobs here and there. I also went to a place where they give mock interview which helped me gain confidence doing it in English. He was not happy because I did not help him with stuff like looking for new furniture, setting up internet and other stuff. He said it is stuff we are supposed to do together. Anyway, he thought I was too noisy for him in the morning and he asked me to not make coffee anymore because he wanted to sleep in. He said i had no respect for him. I replied what is the difference when you wake up for work and make coffee. He said i have to go to work; you do not have to get up so early to go to work and what you are doing is quite ineffective as you have not found any work yet. You should stay in bed and sleep in.
  5. I saw another face of him yesterday. I was supposed to leave early to take the bus to meet someone downtown for work. I made a mistake with the bus schedule and missed actually the bus that was supposed to bring me to town. Anyway, it was 8 am and asked him if he could give me a ride. His answer was take the next one. I told him that I was supposed to have this job interview at 9 and if he could give me a ride as the next bus was schedule too late to arrive on time at my interview. He told me that was poorly plan which I have to admit that I got confused with the different buses to take and their schedule. He ended up giving me a ride letting me know it was the last one and also how he wanted to have his routine ready when he will be on shift. Be in bed at 9pm and no noise in the house, the day where he was off he wanted me to get my lunch and other things ready the day before like this i do not make any noise getting things ready in the morning. I am trying to be as careful as I can but unfortunately there is always a bit of noise when I make my coffee, etc... We went to buy groceries and I asked him if I could get an avocado. When he saw the price 1$51 for one at the till he told me enjoy your last avocado, or at least that I pay for. Never putting yourself in a dependent situation especially with a guy like this. Lesson learned. I had another job interview in the afternoon of that same day. After I came back from the morning, he never offered me to drop me off to the other interview. Anyway, I am going to prepare my way out. I will either find a job here temporarily, live on my own, or stay for a couple of months in France with my parents until I start my university program. I did apply to SFU, VIU and also Sudbury university education program to enhance my chance to get into the teaching program in the fall 2020.
  6. Wiseman 2 Your comment made me laugh as he told me when he agreed to pay food that I will have to not eat more than half of the food that he is paying for. I did not say anything as he eats more than I do anyway but I thought it was weird. He is not divorced but as a man in his thirties (34) he said I was his longer relationship. He has never had any relationship longer than 6-9 months. He likes to remind me how a good man he is, etc...He likes to hear he makes the best coffee, the best cooking, the best everything. At first, it was cute but now it is a bit tiring to hear. I do not know if he is looking for appreciation all the time. Is my coffee the best? is my food the best or what... I still care about him but the whole moving situation opened my eye on his actions on hard time. Before that I have never noticed anything as we were contributed everything equally. I also sold my little car back in BC, I am not complaining about it, but I asked him once to give me a ride to town. He did but told me that I would have to figure it out and start paying the public transport to get around. I do not think i was asking too much but for him he did not want to become an habit I guess. When I accepted to pay the food 50/50, i did tell him that in this situation I will also want to buy what I want and probably my own little things according to my budget. He did not appreciate this as he buys lots of meat which is quite expensive and he buys things that I do not necessarily enjoy eating. He likes wings chicken parts, I like the breast part as an example but even knowing it he will buy it because he is paying. He probably thought by sharing food expenses he will be able to buy what he wants and I will just give him half of the money without saying anything. I am not ok with that. He is the type of man that thinks that a relationship should be purely 50/50. I think he is in for a lot of trouble down the road with such a view. While I think everybody should contribute in the best way they can in the relationship, I would be afraid of staying with a guy like this in the long term. Let say his long term partner is getting sick or is having kids, he will not tolerate having to pay for whole the expenses while his partner cannot contribute. Scary!
  7. I did mention in my post that before moving I checked that the town we were going to move in had a similar program which it had. Initially, I was planning to go to SFU but now with this moving not anymore.
  8. By reading all the posts here, I can totally see with hindsight how bad my decision was. I mean we all are responsible of ourselves and nobody forces me to move to the new places, so I have of course responsible of the situation I put myself in. I have just been naive maybe. For my defense, I did mention back in BC the possibility of me moving there after he got settled down but he did not like this idea as we were too far from each other. BC-Ontario. He knew my situation and asked me to follow him mentioning it would be a great opportunity for us down the road as at first I was not very excited about the whole moving process. I can see that Ontario has a lot of more bilingual opportunities from my search, on top of that with government agencies such as CRA to which I have already applied but could also be a long process. I am open to work anywhere else stores as a cashier, coffee shops, restaurants,etc... I am not difficult and I had already applied to everything I could. I also went to the university to get information about my program. I have not been lazy doing nothing. I have been putting myself out there, used the public transport which is very good in the town where we are to get from A to B. I clearly agree that no one should rely on a BF or GF to live except in situation like this where I mean the situation has been talked about and everything was clear that I was moving without a job there, so that he will have to pay for the both of us for a limited time.
  9. I am a PR, so I do not think I will have difficulty to get a job. The whole issue here was that he came back on his promise. I am not in the street or anything. We had a talk tonight and he told me that he will help me out after all but then after that 50/50 which I am ok with. He added that he wanted me to be independent as soon as possible as he will never take care of me financially which makes me even more motivated to get a job to avoid owing him anything. Outside of that, our relationship is good. We do not have trust issue or anything else. He treats me well but I think money will be an issue for down the road though. This is a good eye opener. My main priority is to get back on my feet pretty quick and if the relationship works fine otherwise it was not meant to be. I was planning on studying with SFU for their French program. I was a French monitor of language in school. We met very soon after I arrived in Canada. We have been together for a little bit over two years.
  10. I would to add that we are both alone in this country and that I do not want to have a free ride on somebody else's back. Before moving I looked at different universities to see if they were offering my post bac education program. Once I found out they did, I said to him that I was willing to relocate with him but on the condition that he will pay for the expenses the time I find a job. He agreed and gave me a two months time frame. I thought it was fair. Now i am not trying to wait for two months to go by as I like earning my own money. The plan of this moving was for me to not use my education savings and I have been clear with him before but now he has changed his mind on food.
  11. Hi Everyone, The two months haven t expired yet as we have just moved here last week. As far as my job search, I have been looking for it from day one, even before moving. My first language is also not English but French. I do not consider this as being necessarily an obstacle to finding a job but I have to admit that it makes it harder for me during job interview as we live in anglophone province. This is obviously not the main problem of this thread, but my boyfriend coming back on our arrangement. Before moving, we agreed that if I was leaving my job, he will pay for rent and other expenses (food, other bills...) until I find a job. He did mention that he was willing to do this only for a limited time, no more than two months. My plan is to be a teacher and that is why I have been working to save as much as I could before going to university to avoid having too much debt. I was planning on starting next September. I am no sitting on a tons of savings either while my boyfriend is working and paying for everything to reply to somebody else's comment above. I have been paying for all my expenses until now. He just started to pay for everything recently. We also are very frugal people. We do not spend money in an extravagant way. I do agree that we should have talked about all the different possible scenarios before moving and talked about our expectations more in depth. It is hard for me to go back home as I am from Europe and all my family is there. I have been living in Canada for a little bit than two years. My boyfriend is not Canadian either but from Australia and got an amazing pilot job. Before leaving he told me that I should see this as a good opportunity for us down the road and follow him. In retrospect, I think I have been pretty naive to listen that. I have to admit that some comments above are pretty right. I should not have followed a man and finished what my university first, getting independent first.
  12. Hi everyone, My boyfriend got a great job on the other side of the country and I accepted to follow him. We have been together for two years. I had to quit my job and I am currently unemployed. Before leaving he told me he will pay for rent and food until I can find a job. He gave me a two month time frame to find one. The issue we are currently facing is he wants me to pay half of the food even if I still did not find a job. He said it is fair as I eat half of the food, actually not really but whatever. I tried to explain that it was unfair to me and that it was not the initial plan. He started telling me that it is what everybody has to do pay for their food. I agree with that but in our case I feel like it is a bit different as I am in this situation because I decided to follow him for his job opportunity, not because I am lazy and not willing to work. He mentioned that I should use my savings for education the time I find work to pay for food. He also added that a boyfriend should not pay for a girlfriend financially, that he was not in a stage of his life where he was willing to "subsidize" me. But he wants to be there for me emotionally. He also added that he thought my behavior was coming from entitlement and that I was a spoiled child. I was flabbergasted as I do not think it has anything to do with entitlement in our case. I would like to point out that I have always paid for my own things and never asked him any money. He wanted to do 50/50 at first on everything but I had to battle to get a 40/60 when we were both working even if the income percentage was not accurate. It was more like 30/70 but he said that the best it was willing to do. I am actually quite surprised he was willing to pay the full amount of rent until I find work but it was my condition to move. He offered me when I am a student to pay 70/30 for all expenses as I plan on doing my master next year. Do you think I am being entitled and unreasonable in this case? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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