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  1. I finished highschool when i was 19 and then I studyed 6 years of medicine. @Batya33 I plan to also send them on vacantions and buy for mom whatever she could’t afford until now.
  2. I am 25 and I graduated medicine. I started worrking as a resident doctor this month.
  3. I recently moved to a new city to start a new job and my parents have been giving me the money to buy minimal necessities. This morning I was compaining to my mom that I don’t have a vacuum cleaner and she got upset and said that “you ask from me what I don’t have”. This is an usual situation between me and her. She has always been economical in every minor thing, like even with food stuff and also buying cheap(and therefore low-quality) things or not buying certain things at all because we don’t have enough money. She s always deperate about this. And I almost always complain and accuse her for being too economical. I am fustrated about not having enough money. And about never have travelling to another country and few times in my own country. For example after passing the hardest final university exam with a top mark, I had no money at all and simply spent my free days at home while I wished to have at least a little trip. Still, my mom gave me more money than she ever gave to my older siblings who never complained. Now, I know I am totally unfair for behaving like this. I hate myself that I make my mom suffer. It is so hard to keep myself from complaining when I am so frustrated about this matter. I would appreciate some counsels and opinions. Thank you.
  4. Well I wanted to say that I don’t like him but I like talking to him. It is a little bit less than “i like him”.
  5. I don’t have a crush on him and he is not the same guy. He lives near me and we met in real life but we wouldn’t know eachother at that time
  6. Hi. So I am keeping in touch with this guy my age(in our 20’s). I don’t think he likes me because he rarely talks about him and rarely asks about me. I don’t like him either but still I am interested in him. During a conversation he was telling me about his past failures with some girls and I was there for him making suppositions and I even suggested him to go to some social gatherings where he could find girls. He said:”Thanks but I can handle it by myself”. What’s the impression a guy gets when a girl has this attitude of suggesting him other girls (wether he likes her or not)?
  7. A few months after breaking up I had a discussion with my ex in which I somehow indirectly accused him that he had hurt me during the relationship. I said that “I hope you will understand one day how much you hurted me. And how much I gave for you”. (The relationship with him was very hard for me because I was the crazy in love one, ready to do everything, while he was detached and I felt he never really cared for me.) He said it was never his intention to hurt me and that he knows how much I gave for him and also he somehow pointed at the fact that I should have learned to forgive and forget if I was a good person. So it was kind of an accusation that I still hold grudges. Now, I really do hold grudges on him. I mean I really felt hurt during the relationship and I got out of it with such a low self esteem(to which he also “contribute” with his behaviour). Maybe the reasons for my heatred are not serious enough, but personal frustrations only, but I can’t say “I am chill about the past”. This resentment makes me feel bad in the same time. And I feel guilty especially because he put that in my face. And most important I somehow use this bitterenes inside, to make myself totally forget about him and to tell myself it was not worth. Because I still have feelings that I hide behind the heatred. Anyway now I am NC with him and I go on with life but I can’t let the grudges go. I still didn’t get over past. The best would be to forgive and be at peace, but I don’t even know how to do that. Are my feelings normal? How to decide wether you are fair in your feelings or not? What’s the solution to get rid of them? Thank you!
  8. Thank you all for your comments, they are very helpful. @Sarah Well, i am at a point where I only focus on my bad traits, like being immature and co-dependent on people around, being clingy and too emotional. I have been trying to work on all of these, but not big results, because I haven’t got enought time for myself at this point(I study literally continuously for my final exam) and also I always fail and disspoint myself again. I also was raised in a “small world” with narrowed horisons, with low education level and many other financial and social lacks and this is another reason of low self esteem.
  9. For those who have/ever had experience with low self esteem, how do you cope with it? I have been battling lowSE lately and it affects my daily life constantly. I feel low about myself as a person(my character and traits) and about my social situation. I got out of a relationship that triggered this problem. I sometimes feel there is no way out of it because although my reason kinda sees the things rationally(that I have no big reason to have such a very low self esteem) my heart feels totally opposite. What are some tips for fighting it and how should I see this problem? Share your experience with me. Thank you in advance!
  10. Well, first of all you do absolutely nothing wrong. The pressure and tension you feel because of your friend are normal in such a situation. Unless you personally have a problem with her(which makes you put her in bad light), you friend seems to has either a low self esteem or too much confidence and lack of manners. Her behaviour is annyong and I understand if is hard for you to cope with it. Some people haven’t got the idea of “personal space” and sometimes we have to take some attitude, otherwise we’ll get to the point of not bearing their presence anymore. So, I recomment that you treat her with kindness but if needed, step back and be firm whenever a tensionate situation comes along, just explain her how things really are and try to not be affected by her manipulative behaviour. I hope she will be reasonable enough as to understand in time. If not, it is not your fault and don’t feel guilty. Just don’t forget to treat her with kindnes. We sometimes have to accept that everyone has defects and strange habits and we have to kindly try to accept them, even if this is not a pleasant thing.
  11. Wow, everything you wrote above, firstly got me amazed about what a difficult person your gf can be- she really has problems and she seems extremely selfish and ignorant- and secondly I am wondering why do you still hang on this quite toxic relationship? You seem to analyse the situation in a very realistic way, you only need the power to let go. I can imagine you care and you have feelings but this relationship won’t bring anything good, it will eventually end when you will no longer be able to take her behaviour and she will probably remain the same indifferent person. You hurt yourself by remaining here.
  12. I am sorry for you passing through this situation. From all what you described, it doesn’t seem that your gf cares nearly half you care for her. From the beginning of the entire situation she has been acting unreasonable, firstly because she didn’t take that guy out of the house, secondly and most important that she slept with him only few weeks after your breakup(this is unacceptable in my opinion) and presently she doesn’t seem to care about your feelings and about your relationship by continuing to keep him in the house. If she cares that much, she should prove this to you. Didn’t you have a serious discussion with her about your feelings, especially regarding the fwb part? She seemes really superficial or purposely ignorant in the messages she sent you as a reply. If she doesn’t understand your feelings and frustrations, she is really not worth your efforts anymore. You tend to excuse her and put her in good light more than she deserves, because you have feelings for her and you want her back, but does she care the same about you? For her behaviour she seems to do the contrary. You should clearly talk to her about all problems and if she doesn’t understand it means she doesn’t really care. This is not such a minor issue you two are dealing with.
  13. It seems I have no idea what attitude should I adopt, so I can safely heal after a break up. Last time I thought I had allowed myself to griev, but everyday I was thinking about reasons to hate him for what he did to me, inducing myself the idea that I must have no feeling for him anymore. Somehow that worked and I was feeling relieved, but as soon as I got in contact with him again, I immediately fell for him so hard, and I currently feel the most awful ever. How can I see the things in the best way, considering the fact that I have no social to distract me and no occasions to date other guys, due to massive studying for my graduation exam?
  14. Both his opinion and my opinion. He accused me of being immature and having a small horison and I am not sure if I believe the same because of his words or because this is the reality: the fact that i was acting crazy-desperate about him and always bringing fights about his lack of attention and also the fact that i never travelled outside my country due to my financial status, make me believe he was right. I couldn’t travel during these 4 months, cause I had no money and no time(busy year in university).
  15. I have some very bad low self-esteem issues and this causes me a lot of trouble. I was in a relationship with a way richer guy and more mature, while I am quite imature and with a small horison. I gave everything and got nothing. He always had a quite disrespectful attitude just because I never had self-respect. He sometimes would offend me in our fights and scream and saying that I have a small horison because I never travelled outside my country. That got me obsessed with the idea of travelling. I always tried to excuse his behaviour, blaming myself for being too needy, crazy-desperate about his presence. I finally ended that awful relationship and tried to completely forget about him and to tell myself I deserve better. After 4 months he searched for me again. I refused his but I was deeply surprised and dissappointed because I fell again for him after his first messages. I can’t believe I am so stupid and weak and I don’t know how can I stop my heart from wanting him. I am both hurted by my feelings for him that I can’t deny and by “why do I have these feelings?!?”. Please give me some pieces of advice. Thank you!
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