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JenCrowley

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JenCrowley last won the day on May 8 2019

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About JenCrowley

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  1. People can and sometimes do change. However, this can only happen if the person in question actually WANTS to change. It's clear from your post that you really want him to change, it's not so clear that he really wants to. If he has no genuine desire to really change, then change simply won't happen. No matter how badly you want him to. If he doesn't want to change, the important question to ask yourself is the following: can I accept him as he is, flaws and all? If the answer is "No," then it's best to walk away, this relationship is not a good fit for your wants and needs.
  2. Introducing her children to you and having you sleep over while the kids were around, all within 8 months, was rushing it. I suspect she also rushed into a relationship with you not long after her two past relationships. It's worrying, and also quite damaging, that she chooses to bring home one man after another to her family in quick succession. Yes, continue working on yourself, I also advise that you refrain from any further contact with the children.
  3. Interesting. Well, I think that this is your key right here, the root of the problem in the relationship so to speak: this something missing. I agree with others that you should look into counseling and, hopefully, through counseling you may discover what this missing something is. Have you had any serious relationships before the one you are in now? If so, how did your past relationships compare to your current one?
  4. Could you elaborate on this part right here? What, exactly, was "missing" in this person you met three years ago?
  5. That right there is a red flag worth paying attention to. How a person chooses to treat others is a direct reflection of that person's character. To me, it suggests that if this guy doesn't believe he has something to gain from someone else, then he will choose to treat that person poorly. If I were to guess, the sudden change in his behavior towards you cause he now believes he has something to gain from you. It now behooves him to do what he must to stay within your good graces because you have something he is after. What that could be, I have no idea, but please do not confuse his sudde
  6. From your description, it sounds to me that the guy is emotionally immature. He clearly lacks patience (eager to meet up ASAP despite the distance, complaining when you don't respond within the time frame he wants a response) lack of patience and need for immediate gratification are signs of emotional immaturity. The love bombing very early on and the eagerness to rush the relationship also point to emotional immaturity. Bottom line, he's choosing to ghost you because it's the easiest and most convenient option for him. He's behaving badly, and there's no justification for it. At his age,
  7. Agreed that this is a situation the two of you will need to find a compromise on that you can both agree to and be happy with, otherwise I do not foresee this relationship working out. My advice is to continue to brainstorm ideas together: yes, try getting a new mattress and/or bed if this may be a solution for the two of you. Discuss a new sleeping arrangement if this may be a solution for the two of you (such as the weekends in the same bed/week days in different beds that was previously suggested) My biggest advice to you, for now, is to NOT move in together until BOTH of you have re
  8. Okay, well I admit that I read your original post very differently. From the way it was written, it came across as that you were afraid to be around him, and would rather give him space so he could "calm down". Anyways, if it's true that you feel that you may not be enough for your boyfriend, this is an issue you must address within yourself and has nothing to do with your boyfriend. If you constantly second-guess yourself and question if you are "enough", this is an issue to do with your own self-esteem. You determine your own self-worth, your value must come from within. To address your
  9. I want to clarify what you mean when you say that you felt "scared"? Are you afraid of your boyfriend? Does he have anger issues or blow up at you when he's in a bad mood? Do you constantly feel as if you are walking on eggshells when around him?
  10. Immediately cutting off any and all contact with anyone who crosses the line would be a great start (this includes friend A, women texting him for sex, sending inappropriate messages, etc.) If he tells you he has done this, all you can do is take him at his word. Time will tell if he is serious about you and the relationship and is no longer indulging in inappropriate interactions with others.
  11. Your constant feelings of worry and fear that the cheating behavior may be repeated are understandable: he has broken your trust in him and, from what I can tell, has made no attempts to restore your trust in him. Besides the cheating incident, your boyfriend has very poor boundaries set in place when it comes to other women who clearly are crossing the line. He feels too "guilty" to cut contact with girls messaging him trying to sleep with him? What the what? So he's essentially telling you that he will continue to maintain contact with women who are sexually interested to him, because to
  12. Sorry that you are hurting, OP. I'm curious: has he actively been applying to jobs in the USA? From your description, I'm under the impression that he was not actively applying to USA jobs, only thinking of/planning to do so upon arrival to the USA. If that's the case, do you know his reasoning behind this decision? Why wait to apply, and not begin applying now? Employers accept applications from all over the world, his current location in no way means that he cannot apply for a position in any part of the world he wants. If an employer really likes what he/she sees in an applicant's profi
  13. Your girlfriend was 100% in the wrong for stealing your book. Yes, it was stealing. Once the book was given to you as a gift, it became your property. It doesn't matter that she was the one who purchased it, once she made the decision that it was to be gifted to you, she essentially transferred ownership of the book to you. Hopefully, in addition to her apology, she is doing all that she can do on her end to make sure you get your property back. Yes, I agree with you that you may want to reflect on all of this and how it speaks to her character.
  14. OP, I'm getting the impression that you have already made up your mind on this. That's fine, it's your life and it's ultimately your decision as far as where you end up and what job you take. I'm curious: have you already gotten actual, job offers in Texas? Or are they only invites to interview at this point? If it isn't yet an actual offer, the position isn't exactly "in the bag" just yet. They can still decide to give the position to someone else. So keep that in mind before actually packing your bags and making such a big move. If you do have invites to interview and they are on-site, I
  15. Reading through all of this, my thoughts are that your severe lack of good judgment and your inability to recognize a plethora of red flags is cause for much concern here. This woman is deeply, severely troubled; I strongly advise against any further engagement with such a person. She ought to be blocked so that she is no longer able to randomly message you. Have you ever heard of the "Jodi Arias, Travis Alexander" crime case? This situation is eerily similar to it, I suggest reading up on it as Travis Alexander made many of the same errors in judgment that you are making. He ignored many r
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