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Everything posted by L0stInSpac3

  1. So I’m in a bit of a conundrum. My boyfriends daughter almost 15 now, has become a real nightmare. Her father isn’t easy either, and there has been a number of issues in the past, those of which we’ve tried to work on. I’ll bullet point this out so it’s easier to follow: I should note we are NOT married. We did talk about this in the first year of dating, but with me being financially set bc of my family (I have a trust), I have way more to lose than he does by marrying anyone... anyway... 1- boyfriend and I have been friends for 10 years, now dating for 2. We live together and his d
  2. Hi everyone, I have an update: Sadly my BF caved and fell into his old routine again. After months of clean behavior I noticed searched popping up on iCloud (I use our iPad which is synced) and while he’s out of town on business trips I saw he was searching for “massage + city”. I know on the surface that seemed benign but I started looking closer. He appeared to not go anywhere via his gps but only searched the first few trips, but recently his trips to Southern California his searches became more detailed, clicking on search results for Asian parlors. They seemed ok on the surface but
  3. I agree with you also. We did have discussions about what is ok and what is not—I made it clear what’s not going to be tolerated. Given that he didn’t actually physically do anything is hopeful, but not good that he searched those things. It’s clearly a past pattern that’s probably going to be tough to break. And it’s my hope that he can continue to see the therapist without me, it seems he’s more comfortable starting this with me, which I understand. He did seem very serious and genuine in regards to us and being committed to me was a top priority. But actions speak louder than words so I
  4. Absolutely. I agree as well. It was very clear he had trouble dealing with his past, and it appears he’s had this as a crutch for a long time in previous relationships. I am being realistic that he may not be able to hang on to this new path, but that certainly doesn’t mean I have to stick around to deal with it. He did seem very genuine in making changes so that’s all I can hope for at this stage.
  5. Hello everyone! Well I have an update since my last post. I wasn’t able to hold back and I eventually revealed to him what I found, which resulted in a huge fight. I didn’t expect anything less, but it nearly broke the relationship. In fact we did break up for about an hour. What I did find before my big reveal was that he did see escorts (massage providers to be exact) but not for full service—it was for “bondassage” (kinky massages basically). I found old messages from years prior to me detailing the transaction and the nature of his visit to this provider. Furthermore, I found no gps ev
  6. So I’ve been giving this a very hard think. I am going to confront him about my findings as soon as we get done with some work related travel. I’m going to keep myself physically “safe” during this time. I really need the money and have to finish this trip. Does anyone have any thoughts on how best to bring this issue up? I’m not an angry type, so my thoughts were to calmly ask him how long this has been going on for him. My best friend is a psychologist and she feels he’s an addict... or just a complete moron... either way I have to address this. If he admits guilt and wants to work
  7. Thank you all who chimed in—I really appreciate your blunt no BS responses. I will agree that this hasn’t turned into something healthy. What just blows my mind is that if I didn’t stumble upon the thing I did, I never would’ve snooped and I never would’ve seen what I saw, and never would’ve questioned his intentions for a minute because his actions and consistency has been excellent. We did work together for a number of years, and he’s tried to date me for many years while working together and after. He came to me when he had relationship and life woes, and when his father passed he turned
  8. I could use some opinions about this situation. I’ve been seriously seeing this guy who’s almost 50 (I’m almost 40) for about 5 months. We’ve actually known each other for about 10 years, and had always flirted with each other, sometimes despite when we were with other people—but when we found out we were both single we started seeing each other right away, and boom! sparks just flew. We now live together, his daughter loves me, his mother adores me. Everything just meshed so well and effortlessly. Like all humans he’s got his flaws, and can be temperamental, but I knew this going in he’s a li
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