Hi, I don’t actually know where to begin but I was hoping someone out there has had a similar experience with me and could listen or give me advice? So my boyfriend (19yrs) and I (19yrs) were in a relationship for about a year and we had a lot of fun and we loved each other very much, but in December last year he started growing distant and told me he wanted space all of a sudden. We are both students and at that time it was our exam period so I decided its best to give him space and ask what happened when it’s over. Thats when he told me he lost feelings for me during the break and wants to break up. (I also found out he wanted a break cause his father got diagnosed with cancer then) It’s my first relationship and I didn’t know what to do and our anniversary was coming up so I asked him to think about it until our anniversary hoping he’ll reconsider and he did. We dated for a while more until I found out that he started talking to another girl during our break, someone he met back in April. He told me he just wanted to make a new friend but I couldnt believe him cause to me, he wanted space from me to grieve, but decided it would be a good time to make a new friend? He was also acting differently to me, he doesnt seem to care about what I did and didnt give me a proper explanation for what happened. He was also less loving to me and was more blunt about what he said and some of the things he said really hurt me. We argued more in January, thats when he broke it up with me. I couldn’t let him go and we kept in contact, and we messaged each other everyday as ‘friends’. We went on a date as well but only because we planned this for awhile and it would be a waste not to go. That’s when I ask if he could give us another shot. He said yes to that and promised that he’ll try to make me happy but only after our exams cause he wanted to focus on those to which I happily agreed to. After our exams we met up again for dates, thinking all things are great and we kissed and had sex but afterwards he told me that he cant say ‘i love you’ cause he didnt want to lie. I felt lead on to be intimate If I knew thats how he felt I wouldn’t have done anything. I don’t know what we are and I feel like don’t know him anymore. I know I should cut him off completely cause its affecting me. But I love him too much and I let myself be pushed around like this hoping that he would come back to me. I want him to love me back and I don’t want to let him go but at the same time I know I should cause I’m being selfish. I want to take care of him and be there in his dark days cause I know he’s not a bad person, just that the circumstances has made him colder. Not to mention he’s muslim and I’m christian by birth so his parents didn’t like me from the start. I haven’t even told anyone else about how bad it got. I lied to my friends, telling them I dont see him anymore but only because I don’t want them to worry about me. I feel like its my fault that I couldn’t let him go and I should’ve done so a long time ago but I was afraid of getting hurt. Now we’re both stuck in a difficult position. I’m really sorry for the long story but I feel alone and I have no one else to talk to. Thank you for hearing me out though.