Doosha

Hello! This thread was my go-to for such a long time... Then finally I gave up, although my instict always told me its not over. Its been 2 years since my breakup, and even though Im now standing tall and proud, the feeling in my gut never left me.

Short story, after 2 years, a relationship he had in the meantime, couple of NC periods (couple of months), we are hanging out again.

I dont want to claim or hope its a reconciliation story just yet, as we are taking it slow and hanging out as friends for now. I need to see who we are now as new people. But things are happening that I never thought they will.

I wanted to come back here, and write a short update....

Ill keep you posted how it goes...

I've spent so many nights on this thread in the first couple of months of my breakup, that I can't event believe I'm back here.

While I still love my ex, I'm feeling much better about not having him, and I'm finally OK with an option of not getting back together, although I still have a strong feeling we will. But, let's see how that plays out.

I'm back here to share an amazing story of a really close friend of mine (very recent).

She broke up with her fiance at the approximately the same time I did with mine, and they have just recently got back together!! It's been a year! They had no contact for the first month, but then they had contact (and some sexual encounters) since then (for over 8 months). Basically, they were in contact the whole time - and let me tell you it was HELL for her. She just couldn't move on. But she persisted, grew as a person (spiritually) and finally when she almost gave up - he told her they are back together again! :) What I don't like about this is that I don't see her being independent yet as she should for a healthy relationship, and I'm afraid same issue will come back up - but we'll see. She says she is a different person now, but is this enough?

But yeah, there's another success story.

Harley - yay!! Im so glad! Now make it work!! :)) Thank you for sharing the story!

Just to bump this thread - John Cena and his (ex)fiance got back together after cancelling the wedding and all a month ago :)

PFf, I wrote this big story before accidentaly deleting it.

 

We were together for 4 years, broke up for 6 months and are now back together for 6 months and happier than ever. In the 6 months apart there was 1 month of a bit of texting, 2 months of NC and 3 months of seeing each other once a week as friends. At the end of these 3 months I was to one to contact him to ask to see each other more again.

 

I think some of the reasons that we succesfully got back together are:

- The problems in the relationship were fixable

- During the break we (independently) reflected on the relationship and on our OWN mistakes instead of just the ones the other person made

- We (independently) worked on fixing the problems, not for the other person but for ourselves

- (partly thanks to this thread) I realized I would be okay with or without him, in the end what happens happens.

- We talked. A lot. About our fears and insecurities in the new relationship. How we could prevent things from happening, how we could compromise etc etc.

- We got to slowly get to know/like each other again as friends.

This is such an important step in the healing process! When you get here you are already there! :)

I am so happy for you Momoya!

-- My friend has been trying to get over her ex for years now. And lately she was doing good (or so I thought), but then this morning he called her out of the blue. He realized she is the best person for him. I will keep you posted what happend! :)

As I recall this is a thread to post success stories, not to discuss and analyze. Please keep the thread on track.

Thank you.

Actually, my colleague just told me he is back with his ex after 5 months! :)

No one is getting back together lately?

Ok, let me bump this myself!

I'm on page 212 reading through all of the wonderful stories and there comes my coworker and tells me that he is meeting on Sat with his ex to talk about potential reconciliation.

Back up story:

- Both were married and divorced

- Both have kids from previous marriages

- Dated for few years, had a pretty good relationship

- She wanted to take it to a next level (aka move in together)

- He didn't want anything like that as he told her at the beginning of the relationship ( he said he never wants to get married again)

- She left him and dealt with some life problems

- after few weeks he reached out to her to tell her he has done some thinking and he wants to work things out. She said she is not sure she wants it anymore.

- several months later... he just told me they are meeting this Sat to talk about getting back together! He loves her too much to let her go.

Bumped my day by 10000000% :)

Please bump! I need some stories!

I love these stories (on page 160 atm)! Would love to hear more details on how couple who got back together initiated that very first contact, and what did they talk about, and especially what was going on afterwards.. how did you make it work the second/third time?

I believe while it's "easy" to get back together, the hard work comes afterwards in actually making it work. thanks!

Thank you YY2K. I'm not a person who can fake anything, but I am definitely doing much better than 2 months ago. I did some growing, but there is much more to accomplish. I'm just sorry his life is such a mess. Hope he will get through it.

Back on topic - just remembered my very good friend's story. She dated this guy first two years of college, and then they broke up due to bunch of fighting plus the guy got scared of commitment. Anyhows, she takes it really harsh. I will not go into details, but they were 10 months NC - he even told her it's over for good and she can move on. After 10 month, out of no where he contacts her and wants to get back together. She actually broke up with him after few months because she realized they got back together too soon, and no one changed. They are NC again, and it's hard for her, but she is really focusing on becoming her best self.

i hope he is, too.

And that they will eventually end up together again.

Only one of my ex's tried to come back, after a year of no contact. But I at that time, I hated him so much for all the pain he caused I just hanged up. I changed alot since then, and so he did. Unfortunately, for the worse. I see he is married and has a kid now. I hope he is happy.

Other ex, i broke up, after 5 months of no contact became my best friend for life. Although, I still doubt there are some feelings on his side... and I'm not going to lie, sometimes when I think of my life I think we would be a great couple. But, I don't want to initiate it as it would feel I'm settling and it's not fair to him. It's been over 5 years since we broke up.

Is getting back together possible, if he is currently fighting depression and told me we are not compatible although there is love? We were best friends, but lost ourselves in our relationship. Everyday was same... I'm now doing NC to get better, stronger, happier and find myself again. But he is not doing so good... seems like things are going worse by day for him since we broke up. :( It's hard not being there for him when he is going through all of that, but for 5 years I was always there for him, and towards the end I got nothing but lies in return.

I think I've learned how to move on, but still keep hope (and not be depended on it).

We need more stories people.. :)

snr - glad it worked out, although you mentioned there are still feelings between two of you? Be careful of these kind of friendships, they can end in two ways - getting back together or one of you getting hurt again. Smells like reconciliation to me ;)

Update on my story - saw him again today and he texted me something I couldn't ignore. So, I've texted him back explaining again why I need him to not contact me. Hopefully, he'll respect it this time.

And I have a question - if you see your ex now and then (5 mins tops) and not purposefully, does this still counts as NC? Or if I am in NC, how should I behave in such situations? I just can't walk by or stand next to him and pretend he doesn't exist.

Thanks!

Oh, just remembered another story - it was about me and my previous ex.

So, we dated for 3 years, and towards the end I've got that gut feeling something was wrong. One day he told me he is not sure what he wants in his life and is being half-depressed (seems I attract the same type lol) and doesn't want to ruin my life as well. So we break up, I was devastated especially since he was my first serious boyfriend. We continued to hangout, even slept together few times but he didn't want to get back with me. So, I pack my stuff and leave for Greece for 3 months. Minimum contact. I come back, and meet him. I realized I still loved him and wanted to get back, but he tells me he doesn't deserve me and that he kissed another girl while we were still together. The end for me. I tell him he is dead to me, not to ever contact me again, and I block him everywhere.

He calls me for New YEars (few months after that) and starts saying things....Let's just say I was 100% sure he is going to propose. We agree to meet tomorrow, and when tomorrow came he never called me. I continue with my life hating him even more. A year passes, it's my birthday and I get a phone call from him. He said happy bday and was about to ask if I would like to meet him when I say thank you and hang up.

My friends couldn't believe what I did, cuz he was all I was talking about. But at the moment, I hated him so much for all the pain he caused, I couldn't even hear his voice. I spent another 2 years trying to forget him, and I finally did (met my current ex) and he never reached out again. Or at least not that I know of (was blocked completely everywhere).

Just saw on Facebook few days ago that he is married with a kid. Doesn't look really happy, but I hope he is.

Hey Clayton1! Thank you for the story! I am sooo glad you found your happiness!

Wish you all the best!

I blocked and ignored all of my ex's attempts to continue conversation - since I told him I can't be friends as I want future with him, and that we can talk if he changes his mind. But I keep bumping into him in weird places where I wouldn't never usually see him. Something "up there" is messing with my mind (not that I'm complaining I see him :)). I still have the strongest feeling of us getting back together for good, and I will not give up.

But I'm definitely working on myself this time. I lost weight, I toned up, I got a tan, I'm more outgoing, I'm starting a new hobby... I'm excited about my life!

*if your soul is telling you you are meant to be together don't give up, but do move on!

Hey everyone, I need some hope!!

My bf and I broke up for the third time after 5years of dating. When we met we've both been through some tough life situations, and getting together (although it was suppose to be just a one night stand) made us both realize that we finally met our other half (in its truest meaning). We were not just romantic partners but best friends! We did LDR for almost 2 years, and then I finally moved to the country he lived at. We lived together for 3 years (and during these three years the breakups happened). The first two breakups - we were still living together. He was always not sure what he wants, fighting with depression, and i just felt neglected all the time. Our biggest issue was bad communication. In those three years, he came home after a longer trip and told me he realized I am a girl of his dreams, meant for him, and he will not allow his stupidity to make him lose me. After the second break up, our communication actually got much better and I thought everything was going good. He went back to his depression and it ended badly. This time he moved out. For the last 2 months we've been on and off "LC" and "NC" and finally yesterday I told him i love him and want family with him, and if he doesn't want it I cannot be his friend. 2 days of NC although I see him sometimes at the gym.

I am 30 and he is 27. I've read all the stories here and it seems like the reconciliations usually happen if the couple broke up when they were really young.

When we talked he seemed cold and distant, but even though I started a complete NC this time I still have this weird feeling that it's not the end and I still know we are meant to be together. I'm going to stick to NC this time, because it's not my first relationship or breakup and I know that whenever I broke up I've never had this feeling in my gut. But I've tried so many time, and I know both of us need to change in order to work. But this time he needs to be the one who will want to work things out.

I'm just scared that the longer I'm away he will think I don't want anything with him anymore, and he will move on. Please tell me what to do... I want to find my own happiness and become independent (as I was supper addicted to him) with him or without him, and I know I can't do that if I'm constantly hoping we will get back together (although I just know we will).

1. What do you do in NC period?

2. What are the chances of reconciliation when there is an age gap (he is younger)?

3. Did you always have this feeling in your gut that you belong together or did that go away (q for people who got back with their ex's)?

4. How do you keep positive hope but don't depend on it?