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About elmariachi93

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  1. But is mutual abuse possible? She says I abuse her by being withdrawn for a week after she abuses me somehow. And I really start to think maybe it is really me who messes up everything
  2. I'm sorry I was not able to reply to you all in a timely manner. Thanks a lot everyone for trying to help me out with all this. You are saving my life I really did open a topic about 9 months ago and I thought in the heat of the moment that current situation is a bit different. I offered her to go to couples counseling, I will do both searching and paying. And I offered that we just move in. But she says she is so busy with her business right now that she doesn't want to participate. She says she wants to work on relations really hard instead of just being half ass on session thinking of
  3. Disclaimer: since English is not my native language, I apologize for awkward collocations and mistakes It really tears my heart apart. I’m really stuck and don’t know what to do. Please, help me! A bit of background. We've been dating for almost 5 years. I'm 25 years old living in a major city with a decent job I really enjoy. When I’m arguing with someone, I really try to understand other point of view and I’m easily convincible most of the times. My sweetheart is also of my age, and she is really caring and courteous. We both come from harsh background. Her father is a downright emoti
  4. Darn, it so astonishing and terrifying to see how I loop into this cycle. I literally right now think how awesome of a person she is and how I will lament losing her. Unbelievable. It so hard to get myself to think about it as an outsider.
  5. It is amazing how you guessed the pattern. It actually copies the pattern I had with my dad. He was an alcoholic when I was a kid, and each time I had to help him out of his binge, he promised he will change and stop drinking. He kinda stopped when I turned 23, and it was solely because he decided it would be better for himself. Maybe another conclusion is that a person can rarely change his or her fundamental traits, and the lion's share of these transformations are happening only when this person realises it is for his or her betterment. I feel quite ashamed I'm learning such obvious thi
  6. Wow.. I think it's just the perfect summary of what was going on the whole time. Thanks a lot! So, I have really went in touch with her during last few days. She says she is sorry and she didn't want to make me feel bad, and now I start to doubt if it is really respectful of her to have this kind of friends around. But even if it is not right, she shouldn't behave like that with me. Am I having right conclusions here? Again, I can't say enough how I am grateful to all of you. Thanks a lot again
  7. No error, that's actually what she told me. "Don't do anything on purpose, I will work it all through with your subconsciousness when you'll be in hypnosis, and it will sort itself out". That's so terrible a realisation to hear all that since I have never spoken to anyone about this except for my therapist. She actually did admit that and said sorry like a couple of hours ago. But I don't know... First time she admitted she mistreated me in this way was like a year ago, and the frequency of these outbursts plummeted, but they still happen and in a way thas is clearly uncontrolled by
  8. First of all, dear all, thanks a lot for your support and insightful anwers. Things are starting to clear up in my mind. Yes, of course I understand that. I was just so desperate in the middle on the night that found this really unpleasant to even think of. Thank you for this long reply Sherry, but the thing is that she is ususally not like that, and it makes me wonder if I really messed up somewhere. I can easily go to the bar with my buddies or even to a night club or whatever and she doesn't freak out about that at all. So do I because I trust her. I appreciate your
  9. Thanks for this insighful reply. I think I just got myself into this constant loop of doubting myself. - What if it is me who spoils it? In what ways I actually mess this up? These questions are always hijacking my mind and I just find it hard to get out of this labyrinth of thoughts.
  10. It really tears my heart apart. Please, help me! I'm in so much pain because of this. Morning, everyone. Disclaimer: since English is not my native language, I apologise for mind-blowing collocations and horrible mistakes I'll try to be brief. We've been dating for four years, I'm (25y.o.)kinda chill guy who doesn't like arguments and is a really open-minded person. I always try to listen to those who argue with me and can change my point of view if I got convinced. She's (25y.o.) a great girl, a really nice one; really caring and courteous, yet she comes from a pretty tough backgroun
  11. Hi there folks! I'm new here but I still hope you could all help me resolve my relationship dilemma. Hope you won't mind that my command of English may be off sometimes. I'm 24 and have recently graduated from one of the top universities of Russia. I come from a poor suburb area and worked my ass off to enter this university, eventually disenchanting myself about the major I picked four years ago, so I'm kinda searching right now. I've tried teaching and translating jobs for about half a year and didn't find they suit me well, so presently I'm thinking over my next choice. I've lived aw
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