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About Koala2018

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  1. Honestly it sounds like you have trust issues here and with good reason. Not speaking to you for 8 weeks with no explanation? Forgetting your anniversary? It is clear he is not invested in your relationship and looks like he’s lining up this other girl for his next especially as he’s being vague and shady about who the friend was. I also have to wonder why you’ve been long distance for so long - is there an end goal in sight for being in the same location permanently? If not I think you should ask yourself is it worth the stress of wondering what he’s doing and with who when he’s so far aw
  2. Fortunately he doesn’t know where I live. When he asked me on a second date he offered to pick me up from my house (I knew already I wasn’t going to go on a second date but even if I was there was no way I was going to let him know my address so soon). My social media footprint is also virtually non-existent which will make it a lot harder for him to track me down. As soon as he started talking my gut told me something was off. I’ve gone on quite a few dating app dates and he’s the first weirdo I’ve met from it.
  3. I went on a first date with a guy in mid-March that I met on a dating app. He seemed friendly, nice before we went out - a bit full on with how much he texted but not enough to majorly worry me. On the date he did nothing but talk about himself and dominate the conversation. He ranted about his ex girlfriend whilst telling me repeatedly he was over her, that he was suing her best friend, and that his boss had made him get tested for being a psychopath. He was very keen for a second date but I politely declined - told him we just didn’t click in the way I was looking for but thanks for the
  4. I’m coming up to the 1 year anniversary of my abortion. Even though I had no regrets at the time, I still feel compelled to mark it in some way - I had a little cry tonight. My family don’t know about it so it has to be low key - normally I would write something down (as a letter) but that just doesn’t feel right this time. Does anyone have any ideas? I also just find it unfair that the father (my ex who I broke up with a while ago now) won’t even notice or care. It won’t be on his radar whatsoever. He didn’t support me at the time so I have no expectation but it just feels wrong that we c
  5. Hi Lou Firstly I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. From bitter experience I know how hard it is when you just can’t get over someone. I’ll suggest the 2 things that people suggested to me when I was still heartbroken and lovesick a year on. First, think about seeing a therapist. Your post reads to me like you’re from the U.K. (apologies if not) and I know that it’s not as common here as it is elsewhere in the world but it sounds like you need that extra help and push to move past this, as you’re clearly struggling by yourself. Secondly - and this more radical and might not be
  6. I agree with HollyJ. And I’m not surprised it isn’t working out with other partners for either of you - who would be comfortable with their partner calling and seeing an ex on a daily basis that you admit to having slept naked with? You’re both being unfair on other people you bring into this I think the fact he said he’s “warming up” to the idea of being together says it all. surely if he genuinely felt strongly about you as more than a friend he’d jump at the chance? Such a lukewarm response would set alarm bells ringing for me. Doesn’t sound like he’s the one and i’d go no-contact i
  7. Thanks - you’re right and I need to work on being more assertive. I struggle sometimes when you just think something is meant a certain way but you’re not sure - the fear of being embarrassed if I’d misinterpreted it I suppose
  8. I was asked before Christmas to manage a new employee for a few months. I’m 2 positions senior to him and unfortunately don’t have a middle person in between. Due to his work falling directly into my area of responsibility, there’s no one else who can do it. Before Christmas he asked me a couple of times to go for a lunchtime drink with him and the team he manages as an “all get to know each other” thing. I declined as I was extremely busy in the office. Then just before new year he suggested a drink in a casual way at lunchtime - by this point he had access to my work calendar so could s
  9. I started a new job 4 months ago which was given to me as a mutually-beneficial favour. I'd been working for a national organisation for 2 years and wanted to relocate, and my new manager was looking for an experienced person to fill a vacancy. The new role involves managing a lot of people, which I knew when I took it on. I've inherited 150+ unhappy staff (they're not unhappy with me specifically, but fed up in general) and it's wearing me down. I'm taking a lot of leave just to get a break from being in the office as opposed to going on vacation, which I've never had to do before. My i
  10. Hi everyone A month ago, I changed jobs and came into a business I haven't worked in before as a manager of a large operation in a government department. A woman had been covering the role on temporary promotion (6 months) and who had worked in the business for years. Her temporary promotion ended when I came in and she went back down to being one of my direct reports. Initially I found her really helpful and friendly when she was doing a handover for a couple of weeks, but since then her behaviour has deteriorated badly. There was a seminar for all people of my direct reports' leve
  11. Thanks RedDress. Just to be clear, I didn't realise before I suggested it that drinks in the evening might be difficult - this is a conclusion I've come to since then. But I think you're right, I don't want to push her further into his arms by challenging her. Just miss her support!
  12. Hi everyone In the last couple of days I finally made a move 200 miles back home. I don't have many friends left in my hometown (most are in the city I just left) but the 2 I do have, I count as best friends. I've known them both for over 10 years but they don't know each other. Last weekend I messaged one of them to say I was back and did they want to go out for drinks in a couple of weeks time. She's been telling me she wanted me to move home for ages but I've had no reply to my message after 5 days. I sent her another message today asking if she'd got my last one but nothing yet. I
  13. I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago (see previous post for reasons if interested). One thing you should know is that for most of the year we’d been together, I’d let him know about my hope to move home to be closer to my family amongst other reasons (200 miles away). It was a shadow that hung over most of the relationship but I didn’t have much success with job applications. I last saw and spoke to him at his request 2 1/2 weeks ago where he apologised for his actions that had caused the break-up but the conversation ended badly when he arrogantly assumed (without me having even spoken)
  14. Thanks everyone for your advice. It’s really helpful. I spoke to him briefly tonight and he’s really disappointing me with his reaction to the situation. He told me that I should have asked what level of contact he maintains with his ex and that it wasn’t on him to tell me they still hang out. He said he only sees her 4 times a year but then later said he can’t remember how many of the dog walks he’s been on were with her compared to with other friends. I hadn’t asked him to tell me that anyway but pointed out if he truly only sees her 4 times a year it shouldn’t be that hard to work out!
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