Jimmy Jon

Just now, Batya33 said:

I'm not being hostile - you are speculating and questioning the terms of employment which you only know because she told you - she being someone who wants to keep getting tipped so perhaps her story is meant to garner sympathy as opposed to being accurate.  I am sure that many actors are controlled in various ways by film or tv production companies, etc  - including their social media activity, etc.  The employer is not controlling them.  They are agreeing to these rules.  They want this job for whatever reason.  This woman wants the job it seems.

LOL, so now she was feeding me a line regarding their dietary rules to get better tips?  I mean, I would not say I fully understand women, but I can usually figure out sincerity vs BS pretty easily.  I would guess telling me where she lives and leaving her purse and phone with me while she went to the bathroom was staged too?  Maybe I would slip a few grand in her purse?  

I was just sharing what was told to me.  I don't think she had any motivation to lie.  We were just having a conversation.  

Just now, boltnrun said:

Isn't there a fairly significant age difference?  Perhaps calling her a "girl" enhances the attraction.

Or it could actually be that the friggin article that was linked above for one breastaurant actually calls them GIRLS!  They refer to themselves as such!  TPGs!!!  

Just now, Batya33 said:

It works the same.  The woman who is pregnant can choose how she treats her body. If a woman who is pregnant chooses to work at this establishment she is agreeing to abide by their dietary rules as well.  These employees are not girls or chicks -they are adult women who are working hard at a job.  Are they minors? The way you describe these adults is odd since you claim you want to interact with them on an adult level -presumably an equal level.  But by referring to skimpy girls/chicks/pregnant girls you seem not to regard them as such.

I have been bit at a few times online for not saying "women".  I will have to remember that.  Obviously none of these 'women' are being forced to do anything.  But the level of control by their employers is pretty amazing.  But no, apparently there are no dietary rules for pregnant 'women'.  They are free to order off any menu, as much as they want.  

I don't care either way.  I was just sharing.  Not sure why online convos have to be so hostile.  

Just now, MissCanuck said:

You missed my point completely about what exactly you're supporting. 

LOL, I see that now!  My error.  You were referencing the "forced starvation".....  She did say if a girl is preg, she gets anything she wants.  Wonder how that works in that business......?

Just now, MissCanuck said:

If you continue to fuel this business by spending money there, you support it. 

I do!  But even if folks think I am lying, I'd like this place more without the "breastaurant" theme.  The concept is solid!  encourage staff to engage customers beyond the simple 'do you need another?'  The atmosphere is more alive,  and customers interact with each other.  I've talked to a bunch of other people there.  

I've been on the earth a while now and I think been in a strip club twice.  It grosses me out!  

I have also avoided breastaurants most of my life.  Mostly because I would be out looking for a partner and IMO, that is the last place where you might find a quality chick!  I would imagine many females specifically avoid those places.  

matter of fact, there is on of these places that recently just killed the "skimpy girl" theme entirely!  Apparently it was not working and the owners felt they were losing a ton of family type business, so they covered the girls up.  

I swear I should be in this business!  I have always been fascinated how you can drive an atmosphere through music, lights, staff, and surroundings.  This point could not be better made than the modern "day blaze" of lighting when it's time to leave.  It kills the mood.  

Just now, dias said:

https://literallydarling.com/blog/2019/08/26/how-working-at-a-breastaurant/

Good read!  

Just now, Batya33 said:

My guess is her boss lets her do this as a way to lock in your future patronage and interest- and tips. 

Whatever it was, their hospitality is saving me some cash!  If her telling me she was off the clock was a line, they take role play quite far there as she even changed back into normal clothes when she sat down with me....lol  

It was interesting though as I got to learn about this special menu they force these girls to eat from.  They even limit how much and when they can eat.   Anyone imagine dealing with that?  

I saw it as a more friendly encounter.  I am cool with whatev.  I realize most are saying she is "buttering me up", but not allowing me to tip her does not quite align.  In any case, I was just sharing the interaction.  I didn't go there "hoping" for anything.  I think she was just in a place of comfort as I was not trying to hit on her, ask for a number, etc.  Just chit chat.  Totally cool with it.  

Just thought I would share my recent revisit to this place.  She was working, certainly remembered me and my name, all the hugs, etc.  After a bit she told me she was getting off early because they were not busy so she was going to get a beer and come sit with me.  There were a few interruptions but we chatted about a few things.  I guess her ride showed up so she told me she "loved me" (we all realize she just meant very cool with me), gave me a big hug, and hopped in a car with a guy....lol

She was my server before she got off but she just brought me a receipt for the drinks and said I could not tip her.  

Now, I had already mentally just accepted this deal for whatever it really is, which I just don't even know, but some of this was confusing I guess....ha....

No, I did not ask for a number or really even try to pursue her beyond friendzies.  I think I decided if she wanted to advance things, she can make that very clear due to where she works.  She did tell me I was cute, sexy, etc, etc.  

Not sharing to gloat or whatev, probably just more confused.....lol  I don't deal with these breastaurant girls much so idk what to think

Just now, lostandhurt said:

Jimmy,

Coffee may be cliche but it is the universal first meet/date and is well understood it is a real date so there is no misunderstanding. 

I am curious what your age and what her estimated age is?

  I am kind of at a loss as how you are going to convey more interest, seems to me she has put forth a fair amount of interest herself.  

  Anyways keep us posted on how it goes and good luck

Lost

She gave me her age.  There is about a 15yr gap!  I certainly don't have confidence issues with that, but I think it is pushing it regarding "relatable".  My late friend and FWB of 3yrs was 4yrs older than her and we never had age related issues.  I always found it fun that she would bring me the next slang term and trend.  I remember is talking about "bae"....like ***....

As far as signs or signals, normally this all would be pretty obvious, but because these girls are trained to flirt and be playful, I am questioning things.  I think I am mostly just mentally locking myself down.  It is just a protection thing I do.  I don't enjoy rejection I guess.  

Just now, boltnrun said:

How do you plan to "convey your interest"?

I honestly think that's kind of odd.  You hardly know this woman.  She has interacted with you in a nice, friendly way at work but you haven't seen her outside of work (right?). So saying you're "interested" seems a bit forward and jumping the gun.

I would stick to asking her out for coffee.  Say something like "I'd love to continue this conversation.  Want to go to Local Coffee Spot after work tomorrow?"

Honestly, I have not given it much thought as I think I made the decision to not let this matter become a priority.  I think when I said "convey interest", I just mean be a little more forward that I have some romantic interest in her.  Obviously that road can change very quickly. So far I have been pretty passive with her.  Really I think asking for her personally and telling her that I just returned to see her should be enough but I realize most men will just go bold.  

I have realized in life, I rarely chase.  Like all of my exes came to me and pretty much made it clear they had interest and that was that.  It has not made me very experienced trying to reel one in.  I just operate different I guess.  I am usually the guy that is quiet but oddly confident but when someone strikes a convo, they realize I know shi&.  

As for "coffee"....all I can say is it just seems too cliche for me.  Every app, every forum, everything says "get coffee".....lol  If there is one thing about me, I am different would likely use my humor like "so.....here is the thing, I need someone to walk my dog with me.  Oh I will certainly be there but you would have to hold the leash....(my dog doesn't even need a leash)..."  I realize I just pulled that out of thin air, but I gotta be more original than coffee....lol  But I know what you are saying.  

I thought this out a bit more than I probably should have, but I think decided not to pursue this woman outright, but rather just convey my interest and let her take the lead.  It might not be considered "manly" but after looking more into how these woman are trained, coupled with the fact that I was there alone, might have opened a flirty door with her as she might have thought I "desired attention".  Really in any other setting, telling a man he is sexy is usually an interested bell, but that seems to be a bell they reach for.  

I really like visiting this place and really don't want to make it awkward for myself.  

As not being a noob to being hit on, I had to think about things women typically do, and one that is a dead ringer is "so are you single" or "where is your girlfriend".  Those types of question have not come up so I think it is just as likely that she sees me as a nice person that is easy to serve and banter with, and tips well.  

I also think due to not having a woman in my life for so long, I probably let my mind step into an irrational state.  

Just now, Andrina said:

 

(In my opinion, if she's that bold to hug you and tell you where she lives, she would've been bold enough to write her number down and slip it to you. But you also have to think about how comfortable she is hugging a stranger, and if you did date her, would you really like to have a gf who has no boundaries doing this with other men? You can't assume you were the special one/only one she's done this with and it'd be foolish to think she will never do this again with another man. If she's got a winning personality, attractive and with a good body and makes a decent salary, why is she single, if in fact she is?)

Exactly my thoughts!  I just want to be clear, I could never see this really working out, but I have barely talked to a woman in months after the accident.  I sort of saw this as a way to "get back out" so to speak.  No, I would not be comfortable having a real LTR with someone like this unless there was a path out or up.  

Just now, Kwothe28 said:

I really dont think she would tell you stuff like where she lives(they are usually very careful with that because obvious reasons) if she didnt want at least something more. However, I do think you should be careful. That "something more" could be extra money whether just by "extracurricular activities" outside the work or just "sponsorship"(lots of them seek some big customer to just buy them stuff). So you could just ask her what she wants next time and find out what it is.

Fully agree!  I think posting here is due to me questioning some things, mostly due to where she works or more, the work she freely chooses to do.  I don't play the sugar daddy deal.  I have't tipped her anything extreme.  I think like $10 on a $30 bill or so.  I am just trying to figure out how I would ask her interest without offending her.  If she is genuine, she might not like being considered to be a gold digger or something, but I think it might be normal to question motives in something like this.  

Obviously I overthink things in life.  I have not had a good run with LTRs and my last that was similar to this woman died in a car wreck early this yr so I am examining if I am looking at this woman objectively.  

Just now, DancingFool said:

Yeah I do frequent these places and that's why I'm saying she is actually hitting on you and not just for tips.

If you like her and are interested, ask her out - coffee, meet for dinner, whatever. You can keep it light. If you aren't really into her, then it doesn't matter. Do nothing.

Ha, you seem to be in the minority group!  lol  But if you have more experience in these places, I will try to lean on that.  Contrary to other opinions, T/A joints typically are not my deal, but this one has a really relaxed outdoor scene and I talked to a lot of interesting people there.  Usually when I go places solo, I feel like the guy hanging out in the corner, but this place is pretty near the airport and I think I am mingling with some tourists a bit.  

I have not once been forward with this woman.  Just not really my style or personality I guess.  i generally like to have some concrete interest first.  Call me whatever, but it has worked for me in the past but just not being overbearing.   

Just now, boltnrun said:

I live in the US and I've never seen a topless restaurant. Scantily clad, yes. Topless, no. Unless it's a strip club where you get to pay $30 for a day old pizza or some gummy wings.

Allegedly Hooters has excellent wings. But their waitresses wear tops. Tiny tops, but tops nonetheless.

This is certainly not a topless place.  Actually, believe me or not, even if something were to happen, if she turns out to be skanky, I am out.  This is already a fine line for me.  I don't do strip clubs, I don't touch strippers, and I don't hire hookers.  Bout the time this woman throws me a "pay to play" angle, she will get a different me.  She just seems different (good) to me, but anymore, I tend to stand on the side of caution regarding any sort of relation.  

Just now, DancingFool said:

....Dude, she picked up your meal. She is trying so hard and hitting on you sooo hard. For the love of, stop being so dense and ask her for a date already. If you keep dragging your feet, yeah, she will give up and move on. So sooner rather than later, ok?

On a side note, yes waitresses may be flirty sometimes, but not to this extreme. She IS hitting on you so hard that the only thing left is for her to put a flashing neon sign in your face telling you she likes you and wants a date. *flash flash* ask me out *flash flash*

Come on guy.....lol......

I am not sure if you frequent these types of places or not.  I would not say I seek them out but sometimes tag along with guy friends.  I think this one girl just threw me a bit and I am not easy to rattle.  More of the 'sweet' type than ***ty IMO, but all in proper context.  I'd probably be a bit more forward with her if not for this type of place.  

Just now, MissCanuck said:

The eff is a "breastaurant"?

 

LMAO.  Sorry, I didn't even realize it was a known term but heard someone use it last year.  I think it is hilarious....and accurate.  

Since some think I am being disingenuous, my dog is with me nearly 24/7.  This is literally the only place I know of on my side of town that is 100% cool with my dog.  Even brings her a water bowl.  I am actually trying to find another place so I don't become such a 'regular' at this one.  

There is another place downtown that is super dog friendly but just too far away.  

Will try to get to the point.  I visited one of these "breastaurants" a month ago.  More of an upscale one if there is such a thing.  I usually never visit but I remembered they had a nice patio.  I like the relaxed atmosphere.  I always do my stuff alone anymore but I socialize and started talking to a couple there soon after arriving.  A waitress came out and got my drinks going.  She became very talkative and touchy.  We exchanged names and such.  End of the night she brought my bill and I forgot to put my card out.  She came back and I apologized and tried to give her my card and she refused and wadded up the bill and told me not to worry about it, gave me a hug, I told her she was very sweet, end.  

I have went there a few times now.  I never ask for her but she has sought me out, lots of hugs, pinches, touching, telling me I am sexy, even told me where she lives, and came out at end of one of her shifts and did her paperwork at my table while we talked.  I do realize these places cater to "flirtatious behavior" so trying not to get in my head about it.  I would not say she is the hottest woman there, but she seems very nice.  

Because of the type of place, I am not about to ask for her number, ask her out, etc.  I am sure she gets that 100x/day.  But if there are any woman around that have worked in this industry, is this behavior typical?  Entirely possible she is just 'really' good at her job and trying to build her 'regular' customer base.  But on the off chance, I don't want to blow her off.  The way I look at it, because of where she works, she should make any interest more obvious?