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Skunkumo

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  1. Thank you. I honestly believe individuals with autism, children especially are the most wonderful :) It’s nice to hear it from someone else, as it’s very easy to superimpose our own communication style and emotions onto everyone else thinking it’s the same
  2. My boyfriend is a wonderful man who’s always respected me. We have been together for over a year & currently in a long distance relationship (both in different states) since the beginning of our relationship. We see each other roughly every 2-4 months. I love him very much and even though the distance is difficult at times, it would never jeopardise our relationship. However, he’s a doctor working 10-14 hour days and is always busy. We have never video called, rarely call, haven’t heard his voice in a month and we do aim to text everyday but his busy workload can affect that sometimes. Which again, makes things harder but I manage. What I find difficult is that he’s on the autism spectrum, he’s very high functioning but is hardly ever affectionate over message and I need that. I have been open and explained this to him and he says I am always welcome to ask him but never says things like “I will try harder” I haven’t really seen a change, i’m not asking for the frequency of messages to increase just the depth of the ones he has time to send. I just want him to show more interest and I fear he’s losing interest but the weird thing is, I know deep down that he hasn’t. He’s very hard to read at times and what hurts me is that he used to be more attentive before we started dating and said lovely things. What’s hard is, in person he’s so different. He’s the opposite and that’s why I have stayed with him, I basically pull through the hard months away from him to finally feel loved when I am with him. I just don’t know how to cope, he even ignores intimate advances over message that he would respond to before. I’m not sure what goes through his head, I put effort in every day to make him feel loved and appreciated and it’s been exhausting not having that reciprocated. I feel like a failure. Am I just overly anxious? I don’t know what to do. I don’t want anyone else but him.
  3. 28 We see each other at least every month. He makes the effort and drives 600km
  4. I really love my boyfriend, we’ve together for nearly a year now and along the way we’ve had many complex situations to deal with that were inevitable and out of our control. He’s older then me and i’m about to turn 18 in the new year. However, he’s had some paranoia about the relationship, me being under age. For one, he can face legal issues if we’re discovered and secondly he doesn’t want my father to find out and kill me. However, up until recently, we basically did all things normal, talked on the phone (long distance relationship) and of course toned down intimacy (haven’t had sex yet) to feel comfortable. However he’s gotten paranoid in the last month and got angry at me recently for bringing up the situation we were in because apparently I wasn’t supposed to mention it, especially over message. But i’m not sure if he was 100% clear on it, like it was quite ambiguous and I wouldn’t have mentioned it if it would upset him to that degree. I’ve been suffering from mental illness issues and maybe I could’ve somehow misunderstood. Anyway, he proposed we don’t speak till I turn 18. But I never really got the chance to feel any closure or understanding and think it could be a bit over kill? Like it’s extremely hard not being able to talk with him and being so emotionally attached. I’m just worried that he’ll leave me and is waiting to tell me that at a safe time, or over the time of not speaking he’ll lose love for me. I feel like my unintentional stuff ups have really annoyed him, but they’re not major they’re silly little mistakes which are normal. Things he’s done himself. I don’t know if i’m being so paranoid? What also doesn’t help is that he’s on the spectrum for autism and is very high functioning but that impairs his social skills. Like sometimes I feel like he doesn’t give me enough reassurance but he’s pretty good sometimes. I keep reminding myself of the times he says he takes these extreme measures to ‘keep me’ . Which is so sweet but I really must have low confidence in myself to not 100% believe it or think it applies to this. He did say things will resume to normal. I’ve just been struggling and I don’t like the feeling of us being anything other then normal. I am also finding it hard that he hasn’t budged! Like emotional weakness to send a text like I have. Like even if he did it just one time, I’ll be just comforted to know he’s going through the same hardship as me. Look if anyone can help maybe experiencing a partner with slight asbergous? Am I selfish or missing the point? Like I understand his reasons but also, think not talking for nearly 2 months is slightly over kill. Waiting isn’t the issue, i’d wait a millennium for him it’s just his lack of showing emotion.
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