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confused2122

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  1. I've already contacted his family and they've told me to stay in contact with him so that he won't do anything stupid. I work for the mental health team so I've referred him, and have also gone to the doctor with him to get antidepressnats but he refuses them. I just feel like you can't cut someone out when they're saying that they'll kill themselves?! Absolutely stuck and would be so beneficial to speak to someone else that is in a similar situation.
  2. I recently posted because I found out that my boyfriend has been sexting his placement student. Since then, we've stayed in contact as he's been suicidal but I've made it clear that it's over. However, I've recently been getting texts daily telling me that he won't be happy until he knows that we're staying together etc. I decided to tell him today that I'm cutting off contact but again (for the 3rd time) he reacted in a hysterical manner and stated saying how he can't imagine life without me and how i'll be so unhappy with him and how he's having a panic attack. I literally do not know what to do. I've tried to be the good person and tell him that I'm cutting off contact face to face on several occasions but every time he ends up hysterical, begging and crying. I feel trapped and like I can't get with anyone else but I don't know what else to do. Do you think that it's fair enough to just stop replying, but I feel like my guilty conscience will get the better of me!l? I feel like he talks me round everytime I meet up with him. If anyone has any advice it'd be greatly appreciated!!
  3. I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has been sexting the girl that he's supervising at work over quite a long period. A text popped up from her while I was at his that was disgusting, so I opened it and found A LOT more. All about how he made her hard (but he did put "haha joking" after that one), what he likes in the bedroom and what she'd do to him and him commenting on how she'd look naked and asking exactly what she likes. I told him that it was over straight away as I would never put up with cheating, but he is now arguing that It was "all a joke" and it's not cheating at all; it was only a bit of a laugh. He's constantly putting letters and flowers through my door and continuously calling and begging me to take him back. I had no doubt in my mind that I didn't want to stay with him but I feel that his constant messages letting me know that I'm over-reacting are making me doubt myself. I just wanted to ask how everyone else would react to this? Is this a deal-breaker for you?
  4. I'm not sure where you've got the idea that weed bothers me because of societal social status; I haven't said anything that infers that. I have never "freaked out" over him smoking Marijuana, I used to do it socially myself. It's bothering me that he can't function without it or see his family and me on occasion without having a joint, but I've tried to get him to seek help. I'm also not addicted to Love, I was single for 3 years before I met him and chose to be single. I was also in a long-term relationship before that so I'm aware that strong feelings fizzle out quite quickly. Last week he spat wine all over me before punching his brother and I spent 3 days supporting him in court, so the issues are not purely down to marijuana and he tells me that I'm the most supportive person in his life on a daily basis. I'm also a trainee psychologist so can assure you that I've spent a large amount of time trying to help him and figure out where the discontentment lies. I don't feel that I'm just as addicted as he is because I'm unhappy in my relationship. I met with his family last week and they told me that I need to leave him because I'm letting him walk over me, so I feel that that's really saying something.
  5. I've been with my boyfriend for around 18 months, but for the past 6 weeks I cannot stop thinking about other guys. My boyfriend is incredibly stressed at the moment due to legal difficulties and often takes it out on me. He'll refuse to socialise and has turned to marijuana every day. This has impacted on me because he's stoned a lot of the time and he has a joint whenever I visit him. I've tried to help him on numerous occasions (in a very calm and loving way) but he hasn't changed. I met another man about 2 months ago who told me that he was interested in me, but I would never cheat on my boyfriend so I declined and haven't spoken to him since. However, I cannot stop thinking about other people and I can't work out whether I'm going off my boyfriend because I'm infatuated with someone else, or whether I'm not happy anymore. I've been in previous happy relationships where I've never even considered the thought of somebody else, yet I cannot stop imagining myself with other people. I don't want to end it and instantly regret it as he is lovely 80% of the time, but I've been feeling so confused for the past while and it's constantly on my mind. I'd really appreciate any advice.
  6. I recently posted my concerns as my boyfriend of just over a year smokes weed everyday, and as he's going through a stressful time at the moment, he cannot sleep without smoking it. I've been trying to help him through his stresses but he still smokes weed every time that I stay over even though I only see him once a week, and will often be moody/not speak to me for the night with little explanation other than "I've had a bad day at work". I've always been very committed in relationships and have never really enjoyed being single. I spent the past 2-3 years hoping that I'd find someone that I'd stay with. However, I've recently started to constantly think about other people and imagine how it would be if I was with someone else or if I was single and able to do what I wanted. Even before my boyfriend was stressed, he's always way preferred to stay in and watch tv/get stoned than go out for drinks anywhere with me, even when we're abroad on holiday. I'm a very outgoing person and I feel jealous that my friends have boyfriends who will go out and try new bars with them. At the moment I look forward to going out with the girls so much, but don't really look forward to seeing my boyfriend. I don't know whether this sort of phase is normal and I should wait it out, or whether I should end it? He wants me to buy a house with him this year so I'm totally confused. Just to clarify, I know that he does absolutely love me unconditionally. I love his family and they tell me that I make him a better person and how he wouldn't have been able to cope without me, so I feel incredibly guilty.
  7. Thank you so much for your advice. I feel that I've become so used to it that I didn't realise how abnormal it was. I hadn't mentioned anything to my friends or family as I was scared that they would think badly of him, but after telling them everything they've basically told me to leave even though they thought he was a good guy. I've also noticed recently that I've had the desire to speak to other guys and almost resent my boyfriend for making me unable to do that (which I feel awful about) but I have very strong morals about cheating and I feel that might be a sign that I need to move on.
  8. He's got some problems at home as well as some legal problems. I've tried to be very supportive about drugs and encouraged him to seek help, as I know that me telling him what to do will only make him resent me. He smokes weed basically everyday at the moment and every night, but he also takes coke and harder drugs. I can deal with supporting him through issues but recently, he's been sober and not under the influence of anything when he's snapped at me and refused to speak to me. I've been considering ending it but I'm not sure whether it's my place to support him through it?
  9. He's going through a stressful time so I think that he may be turning to alcohol due to that, but he also turns to drugs and weed. I'll often come round and he'll be stoned. I've spoke to him about seeking help but all he does is snap and say that he doesn't want to talk about it.
  10. I've been with my boyfriend for 1-2 years, and in many ways, he's absolutely great. However, the moodiness has become more and more frequent throughout the relationship and often it'll come on for no reason at all. Last week he got stupidly drunk on a night out and hadn't contacted me for a day beforehand, I ended up getting hold of him after his friend contacted me concerned and he'd got out of a taxi 15 miles away and was vomiting/unable to properly communicate. I ended up sorting him out and the next day he was apologetic over text but when I went to see him, he found it funny. I asked him to keep in contact with me next time, and for him to try not get into that state again as it concerns me. He then snapped at me accusing me of getting drunk on nights out so it's "rich" coming from me and then went in a mood for the rest of the night. I only see him once a week so I tried over the space of 5 hours to get him to talk to me but he lay there and refused to speak to me and went to sleep. The next morning, he was very apologetic. He's going through a really stressful time at the moment but it's happened pretty consistently over the past few months, and I've just got back from another night where exactly the same thing has happened and he told me that it was my fault that he was in a mood and refused to speak to me even though I hadn't done anything wrong. I had just got a place to do a PhD yesterday so I was over the moon, only to turn up at his house and for him to be in a mood with me; so I now just feel depressed. Don't get me wrong, he's so lovely most of the time and I'm happy when he's like that. But I just don't know what to do as we're supposed to be renting somewhere together and I don't want to come home everyday to this. Any advice would be really appreciated. He's also nearly 30, so it's not as if I can hope that he'll mature.
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