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About undia

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  • Birthday 11/14/2000
  1. Honestly I don't even know what I am feeling anymore, I go through long periods of not feeling anything and it's like I am just watching my life happen around me but then it is broken up by periods of feeling really happy. I guess its some sort of bipolar thing I don't really know. i just know that i have no hope or desire in life, I have nothing to cling to. I have a nihilistic nature so i cant cling to religion so the only thing that is keeping me alive is peoples expectations of my. I'd hate to let my friends and family down with suicide, its really not fair on them, but at the same time i
  2. if you bathe it in dilute salt water, a few pinches to a pint, that should help. I tipped a kettle over my arm a few years ago and it worked a treat. Aloe vera is also good and you can use bio oil for the scaring in the last stage of healing
  3. if you want to just go for it. You may get hurt or it may turn out great but that's the risk with every relationship. In my opinion life is too short for dwelling on things for too long. I spent too long trying to decide whether to get back with an ex and by the time i made up my mind she was gone. don't wait around for the decision to be made for you
  4. i guess i means that i will always know it is my skin. i have distinguishing marks so i know its mine. Like art. I don't need others to see just knowing its there makes me feel happier
  5. I have no reason to hurt myself. I am not diagnosed with any mental health issues (If they tested I am sure they'd find a few though, they usually do.) But I just really like doing it. I like the way scars look and I like the way cuts look. Its not like I really want the pain but I don't mind it and i hate that i have to do it in places that get covered up becase if anyone found out like they did last time I'd be put in therapy which would be awkward because i don't need it. There is no hidden trauma or overwhelming feelings. I just like it. I like the way blood and scars look. Like a story on
  6. I wouldn't say anything unless you are quite familiar with one another, maybe something that out of context would also be nice to hear but as an ex- self harmer I wouldn't want people to treat me any different for my scars than they would treat someone without them
  7. try getting closer to her, now that you have realised that this a recurring problem you may be able to take control of whatever situation you are in. There may be a possibility that it has something to do with your mental health. I began to see things when I was in a manipulative friendship and got really depresses and hurt myself. But I never took any action and eventually it stopped. If I were you I'd just play it by ear and see what happens. She doesn't seem to be threatening and if it doesn't bother you too much I'd just let her be. Investigate more closely when you see her maybe try to fi
  8. i don't know really, I don't think we really had enough time to figure out what roles we play in the relationship and honestly they didn't know all the context.
  9. she is much happier now its all sorted out, and its been about a year since it happened
  10. yeah, she is much happier now. that's one of the reasons why I am reonsidering
  11. honestly people generally text me first because I feel like I am bothering them or and being annoying. this might explain especially if he has a closed nature anyway.
  12. Recently both me and my ex got drunk at a party and she told me she still loved me and we hooked up. We broke up because she was having family issues and needed time to sort herself out and we are still friends. I have discussed it with some other friends in the past and they have told me not to go there because we don't match but honestly I don't think we really had a chance to. I have been thinking about her a lot recently after the hook up and I think I still like her too. Should I ask her to try again?
  13. Gonna be frank, I have been trying reach an orgasm but I have never got there. I've tried fingering and rubbing and vibrate on my phone and using the handle of a hair brush but nothing seems to work. I think the closest I ever got was when I was using the handle of a hair brush but I peed a little and it kind of grossed me out. Why can't I orgasm
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