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Everything posted by Jrod

  1. Abitbroken in a way you are right. Planning family vacations can seem like I'm playing games. I do not do it with any ill intention. I try to do things for my girls, her included. It was part of me showing her that regardless of what happened my family or what's left of it comes first. Im not trying to play games or put on a facade. And I'm definitely not trying to hurt my daughters. It is my way of putting my pride to the side and showing her that I care. Even on Sunday. The issue with the Super Bowl. The reason I ended up at her place was because I cancelled going to a friends hous
  2. yes. I guess it's time I take some control of the situation. I don't like playing mind games. It's childish. We are grown ups and there is no reason we should be playing games. Several times I have asked her if there any hope and she always replies "I don't know. Not right now. Maybe in the future". That's not even a response. I don't know maybe I'm over analyzing things.
  3. Yes I think it's time that I leave. Make her see what life without me would be like. I'm always there for her and I don't think she appreciates it. I know it's my fault we got to this point. But I know I'm my heart that I tried. I even told her I would pay for her counseling. And she refuses. Sucks cause we were friends before any of this. I've known this woman for over 21 years. Wish she could see that sometimes traumatic situations can bring out the best in us. If I truly didn't love her I would've walked away the day we seperated.
  4. I agree. At some point I'm gonna have to make the desicion for the both of us. I just left her place. I picked up the girls from school and dropped them off. I usually stay for dinner but I didn't. She still seemed upset about last night. So I gave my girls a hug and a kiss and the usual listen to mommy and don't give her a hard time. I then kissed her on the forehead and said bye. Her only response was be careful. It didn't faze her that I was leaving.
  5. I wish I knew why she's doing it. I have asked her and all she says is this is the way it has to be. I just don't get why bring up the past if she's not willing to move forward. It's like beating a dead horse. If you're that angry at me then why spend the time with me. That's what I don't get.
  6. For all of us as a family. A resort with an indoor water park. Again family adventures.
  7. My parents and siblings live out of state as do hers. I think that's one of the reasons she hasn't really let go of me completely. By the way I had previously booked a getaway for this weekend. It's already paid for. What do you guys advise I should do?
  8. It sucks cause at times it seemed like she was putting some effort. She would call me everyday to catch up. But i can't force what's no there. You
  9. I understand that's it's hard for her. I can't imagine how she feels. All I can do is be the best father and friend I can be. You guys are right I should just focus on the girls. It's been two years and I don't think she'll ever come back. I guess it's just wishful thinking on my part. What I meant by I'm over it was that I'm over the part she played. It doesn't excuse me for cheating. But there were times that she wasn't there for me. And I have accepted that and forgiving her for that.
  10. I have taken total responsibility for what has happened. That's why I did counseling on my own. To understand myself better and be a better person, father and partner. But if she has no desire or thought to reconcile, then why bring up the past? I've never done that to her. I always stick to the present and never give her a hard time for anything. I understand that she's hurt. She had every right to be. But when I ask her about reconciling she never gives an ascertive response. If she tells me that I will never happen even though it will devastate me, I will accept it. But she hasn't
  11. I understand what you're saying. I'm not trying to be callous. I have been to therapy and have worked hard on myself. For the last two years I have done everything I can to make sure she and the kids are ok. I'm always there for her. In the last two years we have been getting along very well. We have good conversations, joke around. Last night was the first time she got angry at me in two years. I believe she needs counseling. She holds a lot of resentment towards me. I on the contrary do not hold any towards her. I let go and have focused on being a better partner and father. I h
  12. The last time I asked her about counseling she told me she would go when she's ready. But she had said that before. She said she has to worry about the girls. She doesn't show much affection. I don't know why she continues the family facade. Why would she still play the facade in front of her father? He knows we're seperated. I do think she is trying to hurt me.
  13. It is very confusing for the kids. The little has asked me many times why do we have two homes. The oldest asks what's going on many times. I just don't get that is she's that angry and hurt, why does she still do everything with me as a family? Should I just walk away? Cause in confused myself.
  14. I've posted here before, you can check my profile for the background. So today I was at my ex's apt having dinner with her and my daughters. I told her that my oldest wanted to watch the Super Bowl halftime show. She responded " no, we don't watch football here, if you want you can watch it at your place". So we finished dinner and I bathed the youngest. I went to the living room to blow dry and brush my youngest hair. Just she and I. No one else was in the living room. I turned on the tv and put cartoons. My daughter was on her tablet and not watching. So I put on the Super Bowl.
  15. I have sincerely apologized. It was one affair. I explained to her that I felt lonely and at one long thought she cheated on my. Which she didn't. I teach my children to apologize. I speak to them and remind them that they must listed to their mom even do I'm not there. But what I don't get is holidays as a family? Staring at her dads? If it's over why do these things?
  16. Also she is not seeing anyone and neither am I.
  17. Ok so I have posted here before. My ex and I have been seperated for over two years. We were together for 8 years and have two young children together. I cheated and we seperated. I've done therapy on my own and have changed immensely. We maintain regular communication. We have done vacations together and spend all of the holidays, thanksgiving, xmas, bday, etc. the last time I brought up the subject about working things out was back in sept. She started to cry and said she does not know if she wants to works things out. A month later we went in vacation and spent a week at her dads h
  18. I have gone to counseling. I haven't date anyone since we seperated. I have even given her keys to my apartment. I spend a lot of my free time with her and the kids. Our coneversations are good. I do my best to reassure her that I have changed.
  19. I guess. But by doing that she is not moving on and not allowing me to move on. She doesn't have to call everyday.
  20. Well my ex and I have been broken up for almost 2 years. We lived together for 8 years and have 2 kids. I cheated on her and we separated. We maintain regular contact. We speak almost everyday and have done many family things, birthdays , holidays , etc. We went on vacation in August. When we got back I asked her to try to give our relationship another chance and she said no. After that we still maintain contact and speak on the phone almost everyday. In a couple of weeks we are going to Florida for a family vacation. Why would she do all these things with me but refuse to give it anoth
  21. Ok so my ex and I have been broken up for 1 1/2 years. We have 2 children together. We spend a lot of time together and speak almost everyday. Well today I tried to hold her hand and she wouldn't allow it. I asked her why was she being so hat in me and she responded I made her that way. I asked her if she was going to be difficult with me. She responded tsarcastically hopefully not. She then said that she was not going to change anytime soon. Is it time for me to give up and take my losses? We are even going to a wedding this Saturday? Do I give her more time. Why does she spend a lot
  22. I think we have been each other's crutch. I have been alone for the past year. And I have been to therapy to deal with some of my issues. I know I won't do it again because it is not worth losing my family over it. I have spoken to her many times about having open communication. I have asked her to do therapy together but she refuses to do so. I just don't know if it's worth continuing things the way they are. Don't know if there's any hope. I know she misses me but the question is does she still love me. It's a very hard situation to deal with.
  23. We were having problems and I cheated. I know it was wrong. I still loved her and still do. But I felt lonely during that time and got attention somewhere else. I do love her and that's why I try to be there for her and the girls and do whatever I can to keep the family together. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing. Is spending time with her a good thing?
  24. This is my situation. I broke up with my live in girlfriend over a year ago. We have 2 children and we lived together for 8 years. I cheated and she decided to leave. For the past over a year we have been spending a lot of time together with the girls. We go out together almost every weekend and have even gone on vacations together. We spend every holiday together and we communicate everyday via calls or text messages. She and I have even gone out to dinner, concerts and lunch without the kids. But when I talk about reconciliation she does not say much. All she says is that she is sti
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