jobelle

Thanks Jobelle. I can't deny that I hope he comes to his senses and begs me back. He has always said he wants marriage and children, just not now. So perhaps there is some hope of him changing his mind once he loses me. My fear now is that I pushed him away by saying it was over, it's too late, I'm moving on etc. Perhaps I should have said I was moving on and if he changes his mind give me a call. My pride would not let me do that. But now I'm being plagued with what ifs.

I know how it is to wonder if pride is ruining my love life, I struggle with it every day. However I think it's safe to say that after 8 years he had this wake-up call coming. You did the right thing.

You need to ask yourself if you are willing to take him back. If so, I would advise no contact for a few weeks and very low and casual contact afterwards. The ball is 100% in his court at the moment. I would advise against taking him back unless he gives you a very clear timeline on the issues that drove you apart - marriage and children. Do not give him more of you precious time otherwise.

I do wonder - have you ever asked him what "just not now" means to him? Did he ever give you a rough timeline or any milestones he wants to achieve before he settles down?

What was his reaction to the breakup? Did he get emotional? Did he beg? Did he offer to discuss those issues? Did he just comply with it?

If in your heart you think he didn't mean it when he said that he wants marriage and children, the best thing is to just move on and start NC immediately.

Day 9. He still occupies about 90% of my thoughts. I wish he would call and keep checking my phone and email. Yet when he called I ignored it. Maybe I should have called him back.

 

This is awful. When does it get better?

Kate, I read your other post where you mention why you broke up with him. Hang in there. I'm proud of you for not taking his call.

My parents were broken up for about a year when they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Now married for almost 40 years.