rlhuk

Hi everyone, long time!

I'm pleased to say that the things I was feeling in my last post were unfounded and things seem to be going well.

Saluk - I'm glad that God came to you and changed your outlook. I'm not religious myself but it's good that you have something to take comfort in like that

I think I'll be rejoining the no contact challenge again soon.

Things are not going well

Despite me and my ex deciding to see each other, I don't think we'll ever be friends on FB again. It's evil!

F me. I caved and looked at facebook. I hate that damn site.

 

She just connected with his dad and he's thanking her for making his son "a happy boy" and she says "he's a great man".

 

Just get married and have kids already so I have no more things to dread.

 

Yeah I know it's my own damn fault. I WANT them to be happy. I just... still hurt I guess that she didn't think I was great enough. I know it's not that simple. Trying to bounce back again. I'm already doing a bit better a couple hours later.

 

Next time I'm going to post on here before I look. Maybe that will stop me.

oh mate, do you not have her blocked on there? If not, you should, and him too, for your own sanity! x

Since we're at baby steps... Exchanged a few texts with X in the past few days after a couple of weeks of silence and he suggested we meet up. We've made plans for drinks tomorrow and I guess we'll see how that goes. Any tips?

 

Yeah, don't lose your head! Try and keep things casual and fun, no heavy conversations or talk about the past. Don't get emotional (if you can help it). Don't go home with him because unless he says he wants to get back with you, sleeping together is gonna rip you apart even more.

 

Good luck, keep us posted!!

 

PS it looks like I'm still here, wanna keep up to date with you guys!

Hi guys,

Looks like I'm leaving this thread (and not coming back I hope), as after seeing each other at the weekend and lots of declarations of love etc, he told me that he wants to start seeing each other again and see how it goes. I'm completely shocked tbh, I've been wanting to hear him say that for the last 2 years and never thought he would.

Thanks for all your support, it's been so helpful to me. Hang in there lovelies

Wish me luck x

Thanks for your advice guys. It's not so much the seeing him, it's knowing how completely awful I'm going to feel for weeks afterwards as every time we have ANY kind of contact it breaks my heart again and I have restart the healing process.

Baaah.

I don't know what day it even is. It doesn't matter though because he will be in the same place as me on Saturday night so I might as well just call this limbo and start from day 1 on Sunday.

What happened?

 

He was posting on a mutual friend's facebook post trying to get a ticket for an event. My friend was selling one and I posted telling him there was one going. He thanked me, I didn't say anything else but immediately regretted it because I felt sad straight away.

I BROKE NO CONTACT. IDIOT.

Day 1..................................

Day 68:

Feeling absolutely awful, don't know where this has come from. I had a dream about him last night and woke up crying. I've been crying at my desk at work today.

It's time to stop kidding myself and start this challenge.

 

Basic background I was with my ex girlfriend for 3 and a bit years. She ended it just under 2 months ago but we have still occasionally texted and been giving me mixed messages. And meeting to exchange stuff.

 

I think she knows I want her back but I guess my mind frame today is that I need to stop torturing myself with thoughts we'd get back together.

 

Going to be a bit difficult as she is good friends with my step sister (we live together) and will pop round occasionally to see her.

 

Long road ahead but I have to start at some point. Day 1

Welcome

Day 11 NC- Started NC again after a relapse which I agreed to meet with my ex and then realized that I had to tell her the truth and say If you aren't planning on reconciling and want to be purely platonic friends, I can't do it. This caused a stupid little fight and the blame was put on me. I went NC that day and feel like I'm starting from scratch... Ugh, this week has been tough for some reason. I want to talk to her really bad, but we want two different things and it's a lost cause. Will talking to her really make my life seem much better? Probably not. I know I have to keep working on myself and forget all about her.

I had to do the same thing, it's bloody hard but you can do it. Hang in there x

Day 61:

Feeling stressed and a bit down today so I've been thinking about him a bit. We're going to be in the same place on Friday evening I think. That will be the real test.

Day 54:

Feeling lonely.

Day 50:

Nothing really. Still thinking about him. Not feeling happy or sad.

Day 47:

It's receeded a bit again. I'm over halfway to the 85 days NC I got to before. I need AT LEAST 3/4 months I think. But, there is a night on next month that I'm going to,and I know he will be there. It's going to be hard, there's no animosity between us so I hope if I blank him (which I will try my very best to do) he won't think there's something wrong. I know it will upset him. It's going to be so hard being in the same room as him.

I didn't think about him excessively over the weekend though. Keep on going!

Day 43:

Still thinking about him. WHY has it all come back again? Not crying or anything just feeling sad and whistful and generally pathetic.

I think one day, not any time soon, we will be able to be friends. I really hope so because he is the best person I have EVER met and I'd love to be able to meet up and do stuff with him. He is respecting my NC wish at the moment which shows that he respects me, which I already knew tbh. I also know he finds it hard not having me in his life, but I'm not sure whether that is because he wants me as an emotional crutch (unintentionally, because he hasn't got a underhand bone in his body) or because he actually misses me as a person.

Hopefully one day things will be simpler.

I'm glad I have a NC companion at almost the same day count

 

Just realised I counted wrong - that was actually day 42 and we are on the same day count 1 extra day - that's a nice realisation.

 

How's it going for you?

Day 41:

I miss being in love. real love, where you both love each other and it feels like magic. Sex is unfulfilling. I miss having someone to go for long walks with.

I'm not sure I'm even missing him tbh, maybe I'm just missing being in love.

Day 39:

Thought about him a LOT over the weekend and felt a bit sad. Absolutely no urge to contact though. It's almost half the amount of time I went before, before he contacted me. I'm feeling pretty strong, hoping I can finally get over him.

Day 33:

Still going strong. It's my friend's birthday at the weekend but I'm not going because he will be there and it is wayyyyyy too soon.

Day 28:

Still feeling good. Wondering why people put a prescribed number of days on their NC? Surely it should just be indefinite? Personally I think even if I started talking to him another 85 days down the line it would put me back to square one.

Day 27:

After my weekend wobble I'm back to feeling pretty good about things. I guess doing 85 days before made me stronger than I thought. And I have a date on Friday which is a great distraction.

Day 25:

Had to take a sleeping pill last night. My head was full of thoughts about him and I was getting all tearful.

Very depressed today but I think that's more due to the fact I've had a very heavy weekend and spent all day yesterday feeling sorry for myself and wishing there was someone there to cuddle me.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh