Lostinlove31

January 3rd is the last time we spoke. I deleted her pictures but restored them. Don't want to let go of the memories...

I didn't wish her happy birthday even though i wanted to. I tell myself I don't mean anything to her and yet I miss her. I feel pathetic for still having feelings for her and wish she would comeback to me. I been on dates and been looking for that connection we had but not finding it. At times I feel like giving up my pursuit for a woman. And the sad part is she wasn't perfect and didn't do anything but give me her time which I valued. I learned a valuable lesson and don't regret meeting her or being with her. Just wished it had worked out. Wish she could have loved me like I loved her...

Back to Day 3.

 

I have a date set up for Sunday. I don't expect this to amount to much but it will good for me.

It's hard but who ever your date with give them a chance. I startes missing my ex recently again and yet i am working on myself and looking forward to dating someone else who has the same goals as me and wants to be in a relationship.

I startes to realize the fantasy i was living in versus the actions she was giving demonstrated to me she didn't care about me. Once you see the truth and stop projecting the fantasy on them you start to realize a lot of things. That's what the no contact helped with me do with my ex. It still hurts and sucks at times because like I said I miss her... but i think i miss more or less the what if of the relationship not the actual relationship itself.

It wasn't unpleasant at all. I don't know exactly what made me text him. He claims he had been wondering when/if he should reach out to me but wasn't sure how hurt & angry I'd still be.

 

We talked about our kid's birthdays and then got on the topic of our exes. It went better than our conversations during that one month "break" period. I didn't whine or plead or act all sad. Just said I'd been good and working on some issues that I need to resolve.

 

But no real relationship talk. And that's fine. I just needed some peace of mind. I'll let him make the next move.

That's good. I worry when people reach out because it can effect you emotionally but you handled it well. You also learned about him as well and his mind set which is good.

Today would have been 24. But I gave in.

What happened?

Day 19. Since I didn't technically talk to him, I am still counting vs starting over.

 

But he has a new FB friend. She's a single mother. And now every horrible scenario is running through my head.

You have to stop stalking otherwise it gets to be a mad house and depressing.

Day 49...

Been a while and been busy too busy too post. Too busy to focus on my ex. Still think about her from time to time.

At times i feel the no contact rule is stupid but at times i feel that is truly necessary. And honestly i am discourage to date again and try to be in a relationship. People just don't want to put the work in that is required. And saying let's be friends after a breakup is such a slap in the face.

Day 43 and 1 kind of.

Survived vday and haven't contactee my ex. I reached out to another ex who her and I had talked about kind of getting back together. Well i wasn't feeling it much to begin with to be honest due to how she Treated me in the past and on valentines day she tells me she can't do thia with me and she doesn't want to ruin me so I said ok i will leave you alone. Deleted her from my phone and just moved on. Don't feel bad about it at all. Don't miss my last ex gf either.

Day 42...

Was too busy to care when flirting with the girls at the gym. Had a good work day and great workout.

I know that NC is really for you, to take time and heal yourself, but as there are some exes that also get influenced by NC from the dumpee, I was wondering - what if you had been ignoring your ex prior to the breakup? If there was some kind of NC while you were together? Is there some logic that you reach to your ex at some point?

I read that if you weren't that invested and didn't communicate that much then NC would actually hurt your chances even more.

Day 40 & 41

Been so busy with my daughter this weekend i didn't even really think about her. O haven't reached out only because what's the point. Hardest lesson learned is can't be friends with exes. It doesn't work. Will she ever contact me again... doubt it... if she does I probably igbore it.

She doesn't miss me like she said she would or my mine is telling me that...

Forgot to add day 39 yesterday. Why because been distracted with daughter, working out, and friends.

I was at the gym and this girl was talking to me. If i was so hanged up on my ex i would totally blow this girl off but I didn't. I engaged her and made an effort to get to know her. I even tried to see if she had any availability to hang out.

Normally i would avoid discussion with women or bring up my ex as a defense.

I unfortunately keep dreaming about her. That's the worst. I am doing good and not feeling sorry for myself. I go to therapy and have been since my divorce and it has helped.

Even though i handled the breakup well and made the mistake of being friends afterwards i didn't cry or beg. The issue is i put way too much of myself in and didn't realize it until stepping back.

Truthfully for us to get back together her actions would have to go to the extreme opposite side of what they were. Which makes me think that's impossible and I don't want her back because dumpers normally don't change or so I been told...and read...

One of my bestest friends was off and on with his now wife. They both went through a phase of having to fix themselves and they got back together and have veen married for a few years. They are working on having kids.

It seems like there are way less success stories but there are some out there. The ones with the most success seem to be the ones where both people grow ans mature.

38 days and still going. I am at a point where i am angry with her because i atarted to reflect on the relationship and how she treated me.

I put more effort in then she did. I am starting to wonder if I was a rebound... a year wasted.

37 days.... i deleted her number from my phone and messages. Feels horrible to have to do something like this...

I have gone no contact a month now with my last gf. One day I will explain the story. But yesterday was her bday and i did not text her..going to remove her from my phone and our pictures together next.